


Worlds Between Us

by lycanhood



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Office Sex, RedK Kara, Some Fluff, Some angst, lots of balcony scenes, redK!Kara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-10-05 19:28:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10315361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lycanhood/pseuds/lycanhood
Summary: Lena and Supergirl grow closer after Exodus (2x15). Lena begins to let down her walls and see the heroine as more than just an alien rescuer.  When they can no longer deny the connection between them, they enter into what's suppose to be a strictly sexual relationship, but who are they kidding? Things could never be that simple between a Luthor and a Super.





	1. Up, Up, and Gone Away

**Author's Note:**

> This work is told entirely from Lena Luthor's perspective. We're just gonna work on the assumption that for some reason Lena doesn't suspect Kara is Supergirl. Be warned, this is a heavily Supergirl/Lena story, there's not much Karlena really. Kara Danvers will appear/be mentioned alot tho.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

 

And suddenly Lena is no longer falling to her death. Her screams cease when the breath is knocked out of her by the force of Supergirl’s arms stopping her descent. She’s flying. Lena Luthor is flying when a moment ago she was dying. Supergirl’s mouth is close to her ear, Lena’s arms somehow around her neck. 

 

“I’ve got you.” The heroine repeats, softly. 

 

_ She’s here. _ Lena thinks.  _ How? When? _ None of that matters now. Supergirl flies them up back towards Lena’s balcony.

 

“Drop something?” The woman asks snidely. Lena feels safe and smug all the sudden, like nothing could ever hurt her. Like her mother’s thugs were fools for even trying.

 

\----------

 

Later, Lena sits alone in her office. She’d taken her hair down and poured herself a glass of scotch once the police left. They’d taken the Cadmus lackeys away in handcuffs once they’d recovered from Supergirl’s wrath. Lena found a small amount of satisfaction in that. They’d also taken away Alana, the treacherous little spy that had been watching her for months on behalf of Lillian.  Just the thought made the scotch in Lena’s stomach churn. 

The television is on, but Lena had muted it. A news anchor was currently reporting on the latest anti-alien plot to be foiled by Supergirl. A giant space ship was parked haphazardly in the desert outside the city. Police and government agents were still setting up a perimeter, struggling to hold the press back. The headline on the bottom of the screen read:  **Lillian Luthor Escapes Once Again.** Lena sighs deeply, running a trembling hand through her hair. 

 

_ Who could she possibly trust with her mother on the loose? Anyone could be a spy or an assassin. Who could she count on? _

 

Lena hears a sound at the balcony, drawing her attention away from the muted screen. Supergirl is standing outside. The blonde lifts her hand and gives an awkward wave. Lena smiles, despite her still shaken state. She stands up and goes out onto the balcony, trying not to think about tumbling over the edge just a few hours earlier.

 

“You’re still here.” Supergirl says looking at Lena with concern. The superhero looks exhausted, which Lena thought was impossible. She stood tall with her fists on her hips as always, but there was something in the slope of her shoulders, the way she leaned slightly against the wall. Lena took another sip of her drink before responding.

 

“Yes, well, the police just left a little while ago. They had a lot of...questions.” They had spent the better part of their time harassing Lena about her mother and brother, making jokes. Supergirl seems to understand Lena’s frustration. She relaxes, dropping her hands to her sides, and stepping closer to Lena.

 

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” Supergirl’s face is sincere, and Lena finds herself fidging under her sympathetic gaze.  Lena goes to step toward the railing, but hesitates, remembering the feeling of the metal pressing into her back, then falling away as she went over. Her heart starts pounding and she instead takes a step back. Supergirl notices and steps closer to Lena, placing a reassuring hand on her elbow to steady her. 

“Hey, you alright? What you went through today… Anyone would be rattled.” 

 

Lena gives her a small smile. She brings a hand up to her chest as if to calm her still racing heartbeat.  _ Can Supergirl hear it? _ She wonders.

 

“You’d think I’d be use to the near death experiences by now, but they’re honestly not getting any less terrifying.” Lena says finishing her drink. Supergirl smiles sympathetically, and let’s her hand fall from Lena’s arm. They both lean back against the window, side by side, as far from the railing as possible. “It seems I have no need to worry, though.” Lena continues turning her head to smile at the blonde. “Somehow, you’re always there to save me.” Supergirl smiles strangely, looking out at the city and shaking her head.

 

“You’re no damsel, Ms. Luthor.” The woman says firmly, then with a little laugh 

“Though you are in distress alot.” They both laugh then, it’s light and casual, and Lena’s unsure what’s happening between them. They stand in silence for a long moment, looking out at the city. Lena can’t read the heroine’s face, can’t imagine what she must be thinking after a day like today.

 

“Why are you here?” Lena wonders aloud. She’s not sure what she’s asking though.

 

_ Why are you here on this planet? Why are you always here rescuing me, a Luthor? Why are you here standing so close I can feel your warmth? _

 

Supergirl turns to face Lena, resting her head against the glass and crossing her arms. 

 

“I wanted to see if you were okay.” It’s simple and kind, the woman’s blue eyes genuine, but Lena looks away uncomfortably. She looks down at her empty glass, wishing it were full.

 

“I don’t even know what that word means.” She says, sadly. Supergirl reaches forward, placing a finger under Lena’s chin, gently turning her head to look at her.

 

“Hey,” those blue eyes bore into Lena, bright and fierce in the moonlight. 

“It means you’re still alive.” Supergirl says firmly “It means that today was tough, but you’re still here. And you’re not going anywhere.” Her hand is barely touching Lena, but her skin still seems to burn against her chin. Lena is holding her breath. Supergirl’s face softens and she drops her hand away. Lena misses it once it’s gone. 

“Do you want me to fly you home?” Supergirl asks, as if it’s the most normal question in the world. Lena tries to laugh off the intensity of the previous moment.

 

“No, no, ” she says stepping back toward the door “though I now know falling is considerably worse, I’m still not fond of flying.” Supergirl laughs and grins wickedly as she steps away and hovers in the air.

 

“Your loss then.”

 

Lena remembers the feeling of Supergirl’s strong arms cradling her, the rise and fall of the woman’s chest against her side, the whisper against her ear. 

 

_ I’ve got you. _

 

“Goodnight, Supergirl.” Lena says feeling heat rising in her cheeks.

 

“Goodnight, Ms. Luthor.”

  
Then she’s up up and gone away. 


	2. Make a Monster of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena gives Supergirl an unexpected gift

Several days later, Supergirl appears again on Lena’s office balcony. Lena is in the middle of a meeting with several of her department heads and L-Corp’s newest crop of interns. 

Lena is speaking when she sees her audience's eyes drawn to something out the window behind her. Their expressions morph from boredom to wonder. Lena turns and there she is. Floating just off the balcony, her hair and cape blowing in the wind. Supergirl can tell she’s interrupted, so she looks hesitant to land. Lena turns back to her employees with a reassuring smile. 

“Would you excuse me for a moment?” They all nod, but never take their eyes off the alien outside. One of the interns whips out his cellphone and starts to record.

“Put that away.” Lena commands as she walks around her desk to the balcony door. The intern pouts momentarily before slipping the phone back into his pocket. Lena nods and walks outside, pulling the door closed behind her.

Supergirl lands, fists on hips, looking warily at the people inside Lena’s office. 

“Hey,” the hero says stiffly “sorry to interrupt. Kara said you wanted to see me.” Lena nods and turns her back to the window of prying eyes.

“I did, yes, I do. I just thought you’d come tonight.” Lena rambles for a moment, then curses her lack of composure and poor word choice. Supergirl doesn’t seem to notice. 

“I’m not a vampire, Ms. Luthor.” the woman says with a teasing smile “I don’t only come out at night.” Lena chuckles.

“No, of course not. I suppose I just usually see you at night.” Supergirl nods, and glances behind them at the onlookers. Lena continues “I have something I wanted to give you. Could you come back?” This draws a cringle between the blonde’s eyebrows as she looks at Lena curiously.  _ What does she suspect? _ Lena can’t help but wonder. Before Lena’s insecurities can darken her thoughts, Supergirl steps away saying

“Fine. I’ll come back when you’re alone.” She takes off rather suddenly, shaking the balcony a bit. Lena laughs to herself. She’ll never get use to that. Turning back towards her office, she sees that everyone is talking excitedly amongst themselves, still in awe.  _ I’ll never get them to focus again now. _ Lena concludes walking back inside.

 

\----------

 

Lena is sitting at her desk, nursing the glass of red wine she poured for the dinner she hasn't touched. Jess had picked up Lena’s favorite from the Italian place across town, and left it for her before heading home. But Lena had ultimately found herself too nervous to eat. Instead she busied herself with emails and spreadsheets as she waited for Supergirl. 

It’s just past 11pm when Lena hears the increasingly familiar  _ whoosh _ of the Kryptonian’s landing on the balcony. Lena stands covering her unbidden smile by taking a sip from her wine glass as she waves Supergirl inside. The heroine hesitates at the door. If Lena didn’t know any better she’d say the woman was nervous.  Lena walks over to the cabinets lining the wall by her office door. She hears Supergirl finally enter as she bends down and punches in a code. 

“Thanks for coming.” Lena says over her shoulder, as she opens the bottom cabinet and pulls out the two file boxes she’s looking for.

“Of course.” Supergirl says dutifully. Lena can tell without looking at her that the woman is standing in her hero pose. Lena closes the cabinet once again, and hefts the two boxes up into her arms. Supergirl notices the effort it takes and speeds over to take the boxes from Lena.

“Oh, thank you.” Lena says, unsettled by the display of speed.

“Sure.” Supergirl says “Where do you want these?” Lena hesitates, glancing around her office, suddenly nervous. Supergirl had never sat anywhere in her office, and the image was hard for Lena to picture. _Supergirl sitting in one of the chairs in front of her desk where her lawyers and department heads sat? Or Supergirl on the couch where Lena had pastries with Kara Danvers?_  None of her options seemed right. The heroine was so much, so out of place here, she belonged in the sky. 

“Um, why don’t we go out on the balcony. Some fresh air would be nice.” Lena finally says. Supergirl shrugs, completely unaffected by the weight of the boxes in her arms, and turns to head back outside.

“Do you want something to drink?” Lena asks, retrieving her own glass of wine from her desk.

“No, I don’t really...alcohol doesn’t do anything for me.” Supergirl calls back, as she shoulders open the balcony door, Lena follows after her.  _ How unfortunate for you _ , Lena thinks, taking a long gulp of her wine. Supergirl sets the boxes on the balcony wall and turns to look at Lena. 

“So what’s this about?” 

Lena, fighting her fear of the edge, goes over and lays a hand on the boxes.

“These are...some of Lex’s things I’ve been holding on to, since he went to prison.” She can’t meet the Super’s eyes. “I...I thought that you should have them.” Without a word Supergirl, slowly lifts the lids of the boxes and pokes around inside. 

“Files…” She says, confused, then taking a moment to look closer, realization fills her voice. “About Krypton.” Lena chances a glance up at her then. The woman’s blue eyes are filled with interest and almost wonder, as she takes a file out and looks it over. “This is related to Krypton’s location in space. They found Rao and...Here, that’s a new moon that’s trying to form from the remains of Krypton and Daxim. And this is...an estimation of Krypton’s origin.” Lena watches as Supergirl raffles through the files, finding something new to be excited by every few seconds. “And this here, this is…” The woman continues, looking more girlish than ever “an attempt at a translation. Looks like some Kryptonian symbols...they must have found here on Earth.” Lena knows without looking what she’s referring to.

“Yes, Lex found several Native American sites with Kryptonian markings. He had some of the best linguists in the world trying to decipher them for years.” Supergirl scoffs then, staring at the pictures included in the file.

“They didn’t do a very good job.” The blonde says, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Their translation is mostly gibberish...They seemed to think it was a prophecy.” Lena nods, sipping from her wine and turning away to look out at the city.

“Yes,” she says bitterly “Lex obsessed over it. Certain it was about your cousin.” Supergirl looks up at her, some of her excitement subsiding. 

“No,” she says softly “It’s not a about Kal-El. It’s not a prophecy at all actually…” That peak Lena’s interest. Supergirl comes to stand next to her. They are both leaning forward over the balcony, elbows resting on the railing, shoulders brushing. “It’s a fairytale.” Supergirl says with a small smile. She points out a series of symbols in the picture to Lena. “That means...well...it basically says ‘Once Upon A Time’.” Lena smiles staring down at the foreign symbols. 

For a moment, she imagines Supergirl as a child, being tucked into bed by a mother or a father, reaching for her favorite bedtime story and reading these same words. Lena is overwhelmed by a sudden sense of grief for the alien. She lost everything that everyone fears losing. On any planet. Lena had never imagined that the Kryptonians might be so much like humans until that very moment. They too told fairytales. 

Supergirl is oblivious to Lena’s epiphany. She’s gone back to looking through the files. 

“Thank you for this.” she says, looking up at Lena with gratitude. “This means...it means alot, Ms. Luthor.” Supergirl replaces the files and puts the lids back on the boxes. Lena shrugs, uncomfortable with her constant savior’s gratitude.

“I thought you should have it." She repeats. "Maybe some comfort can come from Lex’s insanity.”  Lena hears the anger that’s slipped into her own voice as she thinks of Lex. Supergirl settles back in beside her. Their shoulders touching again. Lena can feel the cape brushing the back of her calves when it catches the breeze. Supergirl is quiet now, enjoying the view. 

“I’m sorry, I keep mentioning him.” Lena says, scolding herself, after a minute of silence. Supergirl shrugs, looks down at her hands absentmindedly.

“That’s okay.” The blonde says quietly. “He’s your brother.” Lena is astonish by the way she says it. Like the fact that Lex is her brother isn’t a brick wall between them.

“He’s a monster.” Lena says sadly “And he’d like to make a monster of me.” Supergirl remains quiet for a moment, fiddling with the sleeve of her supersuit. 

“My cousin Kal-El,” she says slowly still looking down at her hands “he gives the impression that our home, our family was perfect.” She looks back up at the city then, her expression sad. 

It reminds Lena of the night, Supergirl told her about Cadmus. The same expression the heroine wore when she spoke of her family’s mistakes. 

“And that’s what I use to think.” Supergirl continues “In my memories, the great _House of El_ was a pillar of innovation and justice.” Her voice is mocking, she says her family’s name like it doesn’t taste right in her mouth. Supergirl looks down again, shaking her head. Her blonde curls fall to brush her face. Lena wants to reach out and touch her, but she resists. 

“But I’ve discovered things recently about my parents...things they did or didn’t do....” Supergirl trails off, reaching hesitantly for Lena’s hands. Lena is too stunned to resist, the sudden warmth of Supergirl’s skin in the chilly air sends shivers up her arms. She looks up into Supergirl’s eyes, which suddenly seem an otherworldly blue. 

“There is darkness in all of us, Lena. On every planet. In every family. In every person. But we can never let that darkness define us.” Supergirl squeezes Lena’s hands gently in her’s “Your mother and your brother, they let it consume them, but that doesn’t have to be you.” Lena feels the beginnings of tears stinging her eyes at the heroine’s words. 

She tells herself the same thing everyday, like a mantra. And to hear it now echoed back at her from this incredible creature is overwhelming. Lena carefully drags her hands from Supergirl’s grasp, and turns away, trying to hold the tears back. Supergirl seems to sense Lena’s vulnerability. She moves away gathering the boxes in her arms. 

“Goodnight, Ms. Luthor.” She says quietly. Lena feels the air shift as Supergirl lifts into the air and leaves.

“Night.” she whispers into the empty air. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha You guys thought the "unexpected gift" was gonna be sex didn't you? Dirty minds. They're not there yet, be patient with me.


	3. Supergirl Shrugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supergirl's visits become a regular thing

The next day is Saturday, and Jess somehow manages to convince Lena to only work a half-day for the first time in a long time. 

“You were shoved off a building, Ms. Luthor.” The young woman had said, “The least you could do is indulge in the weekend.”

And so it was nearing 2pm and Lena was home; freshly showered and enjoying a book. She was curled up on the couch on her penthouse balcony, in a college sweatshirt and yoga pants. She was doing her best not to worry over work, she even turned off her phone. Though Lena half expected L-Corp to fall to pieces in her absence. Surely, any second now, Jess would show up with a new corporate catastrophe. Or Kara Danvers would call to inform Lena of her involvement in another PR nightmare. Or perhaps, Supergirl would turn up to rescue Lena from an imminent threat.

As if summoned by the thought of her name, Supergirl appeared in the sky above Lena’s balcony. Her cape was flapping in the breeze, her hair catching the afternoon sun. Lena’s heart sped up, though she wasn’t sure if it was from surprise or awe, but either way she nearly dropped her tea.

“Supergirl!” Alarm is clear in her voice as she closes her book and starts to stand. 

_ Another assassination attempt? _ Lena wondered  _ You have got to be kidding me.  _

Supergirl lifts her hands in front of he,r palms out as if to say ‘calm down” as she flies closer and hovers just off the balcony.

“Is everything okay?” Lena asks, still poised to stand. 

“Everything’s fine. Don’t get up.” Supergirl says calmly. 

_ Why? Is the couch rigged to blow when I stand? _ Lena thought realizing the ridiculousness of the idea even as it occurred to her.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.” Supergirl says  smiling a little at Lena’s ridge position on the couch. Lena notices and wills her heart to slow, slightly embarrassed by her own paranoid.

“That’s alright.” Lena says, sitting back slightly. “I’m just a little jumpy, I guess.” She tucks her hair behind her ears nervously as Supergirl lands. She hadn’t really bothered to do anything with it after her shower. 

_ Am I really wearing yoga pants right now? _

The heroine sits on the concrete balcony wall, directly facing Lena, her legs dangling.

“Well, I don’t imagine you get too many surprise visitors here on the balcony.” the blonde teases her. Lena smiles.

“No, just you.” she says a bit flirtatiously, “What can I do for you, Supergirl?” 

_ What am I doing? _ Lena scolds herself  _ You can’t flirt with the Girl of Steel, Luthor. _

If Supergirl notices, she doesn’t seem to mind.

“I’m sorry to intrude on you at home.” she says rather formally. Lena takes a sip of her tea.

“Yes,” Lena says, eyeing the Super suspiciously.  “How’d you know where I live? Keeping tabs on me?” Lena teasing again, she can’t seem to help herself. Supergirl looks away from her then, almost flustered. The heroine bits her lip, nervously, and Lena’s heart beats faster at the sight.

"I, um,” Supergirl mumbles “I followed your heartbeat.” she breathes out with a little laugh. Lena’s eyes widen and her heart really starts pounding now that she knows Supergirl can hear it.

“W-What?” Lena stutters, unconsciously bringing her hand to her chest, as if to shield Supergirl from the sound. Supergirl laughs and looks away from her.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know, it’s weird. But I can...ya know, hear it. And heartbeats are kinda distinct, so I just kinda followed the sound of yours."

Lena is now desperate to get her pulse under control, she laughs to play off her alarm. 

_ So she knows every time I’m nervous, or lying, or...turned on. Oh God.  _ Lena shifts uncomfortably on the couch.

“Neat trick.” she says, clearing her throat. Supergirl hops off the wall suddenly, and begins to pace in front on Lena, wringing her hands together. She’s never really seen the heroine nervous before, but something about the blonde’s fidgety manner seemed familiar. 

“Look, Ms. Luthor, I came here to apologize.” Supergirl is saying, “For last night.” Lena’s brow furrows. 

“Last night?” 

Supergirl stops pacing, and looks at Lena. Her blue eyes are sincere and uncertain.

“Yeah, I...well I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I maybe  _ overshared _ a bit and it...well you just seemed upset. So I left, but then, I felt like maybe leaving so abruptly was rude…” The Girl of Steel was rambling and fidgeting, and Lena was plagued by the strange familiarity of it.

“It’s okay.” Lena says looking down at her own hands self-consciously. “I, um,” She wasn’t sure how to articulate her feelings about last night. “You just...took me by surprise. You’re the last person I ever thought would…”

“Would understand?” 

Lena looks up at her then, feeling vulnerable for the second time in as many days. She doesn’t feel as emotional this time though. No tears threaten. Instead, she feels unexpectedly relieved. She hadn’t even allowed herself to realize how alone she felt, until this woman was there echoing her own thoughts back at her. 

_ Who knew they’d have so much in common? _

“Yeah.” Lena responds softly, “You constantly surprise me, Supergirl.” Lena smiles “In more ways than one.” Supergirl offers her a shy smile in return.

 

\----------

 

Supergirl lingers that afternoon. They sit on Lena’s balcony talking about nothing in particular. And after that it becomes a regular occurrence. 

A few nights a week, Supergirl will show up at Lena’s office after hours or at her penthouse late at night, and they just sit and talk. About books or science or stars. They don’t talk about Lillian, Lex, or Superman. Sometimes they don’t talk at all. They just sit quietly listening to the city. Supergirl often has to rush away when she hears sirens or when someone speaks urgently into the comm in her ear. But Lena doesn’t mind. 

Though she’s grown comfortable with the alien’s presence, her heart still beats faster everytime she visits. Lena knows she must notice, but Supergirl never mentions it. The Kryptonian tells Lena stories of her home world. Brief glimpses into the galaxy. Lena can tell the memories are bittersweet. Sometimes Supergirl’s voice will grow quiet as she speaks about Krypton. So quiet Lena has to strain to hear it. And Lena’s heart breaks for her. She whispers the memories like they’re precious, like speaking them will steal them away. Lena just listens, so grateful that for some reason she’s the one that gets to hear this. In comparison, Supergirl seems just as transfixed by Lena’s life. She asks Lena about boarding school and her time abroad and work at L-Corp. 

Lena often finds herself wondering, why Supergirl is spending her time with her. Surely, the woman must have better things to do, better people to see. But Supergirl never seemed to be bored or in a hurry. She doesn’t treat their time together like an obligation. Lena tries not to let it go to her head. Despite herself, she finds that she will look forward to the visits all day long, through her long meetings and phone calls, she’ll wonder what Supergirl will do or say tonight.

 

\------------

It’s been a few days since their last visit. Lena knew it was probably because of the string of rogue alien attacks she’d heard about on the news. But something cruel inside her whispered that she was wrong. She was wrong to have ever thought this connection could last. And she was foolish for having let herself imagine it could ever lead to something...else, something more. She tries to quiet the hateful thoughts with a glass of scotch or two as she finishes up work for the day. Jess comes into her office just past 10pm, giving Lena her schedule for tomorrow.

“Thank you, Jess. That’ll be all.” Jess nods and heads for the door. The girl hesitates, turning back to Lena shyly.

“You might want to turn on the news. Supergirl’s on again.” 

Lena blinks at her, impassively.  _ What does Jess think she knows?  _

Lena hadn’t mentioned Supergirl’s visits to anyone. Not Jess, not even Kara. This thing with her and the Kryptonian seemed so...strange. So hard to explain. So fragile. Lena hadn’t known how to acknowledge it’s existence.

“Is she okay?” Lena asks casually, looking back down at her papers. She hears rather than sees Jess’s smile.

“Kicking ass as usual.” Jess says, “Goodnight, Ms. Luthor.” she leaves and Lena smiles.

It’s almost 11pm, when Lena hears the alien’s harsh landing on the office balcony. Lena had been getting ready to head home. Her phone in her hand, about to call up her driver. But she turns in surprise as the room shudders a bit. She hadn't expected to see her visitor tonight, given the heroics Jess mentioned. But there she is. All red and blue, pacing on the balcony, clearly annoyed, seemingly talking to herself. Lena sets down her phone and purse, before walking outside cautiously. 

“Alex, I’m fine...I am...No, I don’t need the sunlamps.” Supergirl is saying, presumably to someone talking through her comms.

“I just need to wind down.” Supergirl notices Lena, and looks up at her strangely. 

“Yes,” she says “some time alone.” She lies to Agent Danvers while staring right in Lena’s eyes. 

Apparently, Lena wasn’t the only one unwilling to explain their time together. 

_ Is she ashamed? _ A part of Lena wonders, and then another part asks,  _ Are you?  _

Supergirl turns off her comms, and turns to Lena, her face apologetic.

“Hey.” She says. Lena leans against the glass window, hugging herself from the cold.

“Hi.”

“Let’s go inside. It’s cold out.” Supergirl says, walking over and holding the door open for Lena. Lena chuckles.

“How would you know that?” Supergirl touches Lena’s arm, rubbing gently over the chilled skin.

“You’ve got goosebumps.” she tells her. 

They are standing closely in the doorway, Supergirl’s warm hand on Lena’s arm. Lena’s breath hitches. Supergirl is looking at her. Those blue eyes wandering over her face, linger on her mouth, then down her neck. Lena sways forward slightly towards the alien warmth, then back again. 

_ What are they doing? _

Lena ducks inside, her head spinning. She places her hands on her desk, closes her eyes, and takes a few deep breath to steady herself. She hears Supergirl follow her in. 

The heroine comes to stand behind Lena. She hesitantly, gently places her hands on Lena’s arms. Lena spins around to face her, and Supergirl pulls her hands back.

“What are we doing?” Lena voices the question that’s plagued her for weeks. Her voice is steady, but her hands are trembling. 

Supergirl looks tired, perhaps from fighting these last several days. 

_Or maybe,_ Lena thinks, _from resisting the pull between them._ _Does she feel it too?_

Supergirl looks away from her, shaking her head.

“Ms. Luthor…” Lena steps closer to her, forcing the woman to back against the window.

“Stop calling me that.” Lena begs.  _ God what’s happening to me?  _

“Lena…” Supergirl says her name like a warning, she breathes it out between them. 

It gives Lena courage, or maybe that’s the scotch from earlier. She steps even closer, taking both of Supergirl’s hands. 

“Why are you here?” Lena demands, looking up into her unbelievable blue eyes. 

She sees something change in Supergirl’s face, like she’s giving up. The mask of bravado and formality falls away, and Supergirl shrugs.

“Because I want to be.”

Lena practically lunges forward, pressing her lips hard against Supergirl’s. The kiss is sudden and pressing and warm and a relief. They both sigh into it. Supergirl’s hands move up to cup Lena’s face holding her carefully. And Lena’s fingers snake up into the blonde’s hair, tugging her closer. Supergirl moves forward until Lena is backed into her desk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now they bang...


	4. Believe It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supergirl and Lena finally give in
> 
> OR
> 
> smut smut smut smut....smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at smut, guys, I'm pretty nervous about it

Supergirl’s hands slip to the back of Lena’s thighs, gently lifting the CEO up to sit on the desk. Lena’s hands are curled in her honey blonde hair, pulling her closer, until Supergirl is standing between her thighs. Their kisses are urgent and sloppy, moving from lips to jaw to neck and back again. Lena is dizzy with the sensations. 

Supergirl’s hands come up to cup her face, and she slows the kiss down, tenderly stroking Lena’s cheek with her thumb. They are both breathing heavily. Their eyes closed, foreheads pressed together. Supergirl moves down kissing Lena’s neck as the brunette catches her breath. The Kryptonian’s hands slide down to the buttons on Lena’s shirt, unbuttoning one, then a second. Lena’s head is spinning. 

_ Is this really happening? _   She wonders.

“Is this...okay?” Supergirl asks, halting at Lena’s third button, but continuing to brush her lips against Lena’s neck. 

_ Was this okay? _   The thought hadn’t occurred to Lena until now.  _ Was this even safe?  _

“Um...have you ever...been with a human before?” Lena asks uncertainly. She feels Supergirl smile against her skin.

“It’s been awhile.” Supergirl says, pressing closer to Lena. 

Lena’s body was on fire, the ache between her legs growing more demanding by the second, she was finding it hard to concentrate.

“What I mean is...are you sure you can control...your strength?” Lena says hesitantly. 

Supergirl immediately goes still against her. She pulls back slightly, removing her hands from Lena’s shirt. Her face is full of concern suddenly.

“Did I...hurt you just now?” she asks, her voice almost trembling. 

Lena immediately regrets having said anything. She can feel the woman shrinking away from her, and realizes that’s the exact opposite of what her wants. Lena reaches for Supergirl’s hips, pulling the heroine firmly back in between her legs.

“No!” She says, panic clear in her voice “You didn’t. No. I’m fine.” She moves her hands back up to caress Supergirl’s still distressed face.  “I was just wondering. I-I’m sorry.” 

Supergirl shakes her head, but doesn’t move away.

“I would never endanger you that way. I wouldn’t risk it, if I didn’t have control.” she says, not meeting Lena’s eyes. 

_ I’ve hurt her feelings _ . Lena thinks  _ I’ve screwed this up already.  _ Lena gently pulls Supergirl’s face up, meeting her eyes.

“I know that now. I know.” The blonde still looks uncertain.

“Lena, if you don’t want to do this…” Lena smiles mischievously and kisses the superhero, moving her hands down to finish unbuttoning her own shirt. 

“Oh, I want this.” Lena says. Supergirl kisses her back carefully. Her hands back on Lena’s hips, drawing Lena to the very edge of the desk.

“Can I do anything…” she asks her lips moving down Lena jaw “to make you more comfortable with my strength?” The question takes Lena by surprise. 

_ Sure, rules, boundaries, safe sex. Good idea.  _ Lena’s next thought makes her flush, and a rush of arousal coats her underwear. 

“Maybe, um...when you’re close, you could...watch where you put your hands.” 

Supergirl nods, her eyes seeming to darken at the thought.

“Okay.” she breathes the word, before kissing Lena hard. 

_ That’s enough talk. _ Lena concludes. 

Supergirl finishes removing Lena’s shirt and kisses her with a new hunger. She moves down to nip and suck at Lena’s collarbone as the brunette moans and arches against her. Lena’s hands are once again tangled in the woman’s blonde hair, tugging to guide her lower. Supergirl reaches around to swiftly relieve Lena of her bra, and immediately goes to work on Lena’s nipples. The Krypyonian nips and sucks and flicks with her tongue, driving Lena wild.

Lena can hardly stand it anymore, she’s throbbing with need. She takes one of Supergirl’s hands from her waist and slowly slides it up her thigh, beneath her skirt. Supergirl gets the message, and continues higher on her own, bringing her mouth back to Lena’s. She gasps when she reaches the dampness on Lena’s panties.

“Lena, you’re so…” 

Lena quiets her with another kiss, whimpering as Supergirl pulls her underwear aside and finally touches her. 

Supergirl starts with slow soft circles, working Lena up, as they kiss frantically.  Supergirl adds pressure causing Lena to break their kiss as she throws her head back. The blonde moves her lips down to Lena’s expose neck, placing hard kisses against Lena’s pulse point. 

“More.” Lena pants, grinding forward into the heroine’s hand. 

Not needing anymore encouragement, Supergirl smirks against Lena’s skin. She brings their mouths back together to swallow Lena’s moan as she slowly enters her with two fingers. 

“Yes.” Lena gasps, pressing their foreheads together. 

Supergirl moves in and out of her, slowly at first then faster and harder as Lena’s breathing speeds up and her pleasure builds. Lena comes hard clutching at Supergirl’s cape desperately as her whole body quivers. 

The heroine’s hand slows, but continues moving in and out of Lena as she ride out her orgasm. 

Lena leans forward resting her head against Supergirl’s shoulder, softly kissing at the woman’s neck as her body relaxes. Supergirl removes her fingers gently. She strokes Lena’s hair and tenderly kisses her bare shoulder.

“Let me take you home.” Supergirl whispers. Lena, still unable to speak, just nods as Supergirl gathers her in her arms.

 

\-----------

 

By the time, they arrive on Lena’s penthouse balcony Lena has recovered from her first orgasm. Lena is sucking on Supergirl’s neck as they land. She waste no time getting to her feet and unlocking the balcony door for them. 

Supergirl wraps her arms around Lena’s waist as she fumbles with her keys, and presses against her, nipping playfully at the back of Lena’s neck. Lena’s hands tremble as she finally opens the door. She yanks the door open and spins around, pulling Supergirl into a kiss and into her apartment.

The place is dark and they stumble around. Supergirl lets Lena guide them clumsily backwards towards the bedroom, kissing all the while.

At last they collapse onto the bed. They both chuckle in the dark. Lena crawls up the bed and turns on a lamp, flooding the bedroom with soft yellow light.

Supergirl is sitting on the end of the bed, looking at Lena softly. Lena smiles wickedly and crawls back to the heroine, maintaining eye contact the whole way. Lena kisses Supergirl’s collarbone, up her neck, biting harshly on her ear. Supergirl hisses, not in pain of course. She leans into the sensation. Lena smiles, satisfied that she can get a reaction from the unbreakable skin. She continues kissing over Supergirl’s jaw until she reaches her lips. They kiss slowly, sweetly, Lena grips Supergirl’s cape. 

“Take this off.” Lena pants. 

Supergirl stands up without a word. She looks like she’s about to speed off. “No,” Lena says, halting her. “No powers...okay?” Supergirl nods as if the sight of Lena lying there half naked on the bed asking her to strip has robbed her of speech. 

She slowly peels the supersuit off piece by piece. First, the cape...then the skirt. Until she is standing there completely bare. 

Lena just stares for a moment. Her eyes roaming over Supergirl’s tone body. She reaches forward running her hand over the Kryptonian’s stomach, counting the abs as she goes. Supergirl shivers under the featherlight touch. She leans down and kisses Lena, hard and pressing. Lena’s warm tongue slips into her mouth and Supergirl groans. They lay down on the bed, Supergirl holding herself over Lena with one arm, as her other hand slides down to Lena’s hip to unzip the brunette’s skirt. Lena lifts her hips up as Supergirl slides the skirt down her legs, kissing Lena's legs as she goes. She drops the skirt at the end of the bed, before reaching back up and pulling Lena’s underwear down next. 

The blonde settles herself between Lena’s thighs, smirking up at the clearly aroused woman. She places hard kisses against Lena’s inner thigh as she makes her way to exactly where Lena needs her to be. 

“Oh my God…” Lena breathes struggling to stay still.

“What?” Supergirl laughs, and her breath against Lena make the brunette groan.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Lena tells her breathing heavily in anticipation. Supergirl moves Lena’s thighs onto her shoulders, wrapping her arms around. Her blonde hair is splayed out over Lena’s skin, her blue eyes dark with lust. She looks up at Lena and says

“Believe it.” before pressing her tongue to Lena. She’s not slow and gentle this time. She make hard fast circles, bringing Lena back to the edge almost immediately.

“Oh, fuck…” Lena hisses, her hands coming down to tangle in the blonde waves, pressing her closer.

“Language.” Supergirl comments before pressing two fingers into Lena.

“Oh shit. Oh my God.” Lena says throwing her head back and arching into Supergirl’s touch. Supergirl smiles as she lowers her mouth back down, licking and sucking Lena’s clit as she moves in and out of her.

Lena comes undone for the second time by the heroine’s hand. 

Supergirl crawls up Lena’s body placing lazy wet kisses on Lena’s skin as she goes, until she reaches her mouth. She kisses her deeply as Lena struggles to catch her breath.

“That was…” Lena can’t find a word.

“I’m glad you liked it.” Supergirl says brushing Lena’s hair from her face. Lena laughs at the understatement. She kisses Supergirl, rolling over to straddle the beautiful alien. She thumbs the blonde’s nipples roughly while sucking hard on her pulse point, eliciting a series of moans from the writhing woman beneath her. Lena begins to move down Supergirl’s body, licking and sucking as she goes.

“Lena...you don’t have to.” Lena chuckles, continuing her descent.

“I think, I’ve been waiting to do this since the moment we met.” She parts Supergirl's knees and runs her hands up and down her thighs. Supergirl squirms, her hand clutching the bedsheets.

“You were being shot at when we met.” Supergirl reminds her breathlessly. Lena shrugs, kissing her toned abs as she moves further and further down.

“You saved me...That was _quite_ the turn on.” Supergirl laughs until Lena’s tongue makes contact with her clit.

“Oh Rao...fuck…”

“Language.” Lena teases. She flicks and swirls her tongue, causing the heroine to only moan in response. 

Supergirl’s hand comes down to tangle in Lena’s hair. Lena stops her movement. 

“Hands.” She tells the writhing Kryptonian. 

Supergirl looks down, desperate for Lena to continue. She pulls her hand back and covered her face with her arm. Lena resumes her ministrations. Her pace speeds up as she feels Supergirl’s pleasure building. She slips two curled fingers inside without warning.

“Come for me.” she pants, and Supergirl does. 

She hips buck and her back arches as her body tenses as she comes for Lena. Lena looks up to see the woman’s eyes glowing like she’s about to use her heat vision, but the lasers never emerge. 

Her eyes return to normal as she rides out her orgasm, Lena gently licking her clean. 

They are both out of breath as Lena climbs back up into the alien’s arms. They are quiet for a long time as both their breathing returns to normal. Lena’s head is on Supergirl’s chest, and Supergirl is running her hands through Lena’s hair.  After a long time,  Supergirl kisses Lena’s forehead, surprising Lena with her tenderness. 

“Do you want me to go?” She asks, simply. Her voice is calm and even, like she doesn’t care what the answer is. Lena’s not sure.

She never got an answer to her original question.  _ What were they doing? What was this?   _ She didn’t want to ask again. She didn’t really want to know. She felt warm and safe in Supergirl’s arms. She can’t remember the last time she’d felt so...accepted. And by a Super of all people. All she knew is that she wasn’t ready to let go yet.

“Stay with me.” she whispers, “Just until I fall asleep.” she nuzzles further into Supergirl’s neck as the blonde reaches over and turns off the light.

They climb under the blankets and curl together. Supergirl’s front pressed to Lena’s back, her arm over Lena’s waist. Lena closes her eyes, and intertwines their fingers. 

Supergirl places a sweet final kiss to her neck and Lena drifts off into a dreamless sleep.


	5. The Inelegance of The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...
> 
> or
> 
> Lena has doubts and insecurities and closes herself off because that's how she protects herself
> 
> or
> 
> Jess continues to know too much

Lena wakes up slowly, her mind clouded by her first restful sleep in months. She feels the warm sun streaming in through her window, and she gradually becomes aware of the sounds of the city outside. She stretches under the covers, her body sore in the best way. That’s when she remembers.

Lena bolts straight up in bed as the memory of last night hits her. Supergirl’s kiss, her lips, her fingers. Lena’s orgasm. Correction, Lena’s first orgasm. Then they’d come back here. Supergirl’s naked body bared before her. The heroine’s mouth against her.

_Oh my God. Holy Shit. I fucked Supergirl last night._  

Lena’s face heats up at her memories.

_Or maybe Supergirl fucked me._

Lena looks around the room, then down at the bed beside her. She reaches out a hand and touches the cold sheets. She almost calls Supergirl’s name, pathetically hoping maybe the woman was still here in her house, but she chokes it down.

_Of course, she’s gone._ Lena thinks. _Why would she stick around for the awkward morning after routine?_

Lena reaches towards the bedside table for her phone, then realizes it’s not there. She must have left it at the office when Supergirl flew her home half naked and dizzy with pleasure.  Instead, there is a note scribbled on a post-it. The signature Super emblem is hastily drawn and under it a phone number Lena doesn’t recognize.

_Supergirl has a phone? And I’m just now getting the number? Really?_

Lena climbs out of bed, realizing she’s probably already late for work. She goes into the bathroom, turns on the shower, and takes a long look in the mirror.

Her hair is loose and disheveled. The feel of Supergirl’s hand tangles in it, pressing gently, all too easy to recall. Her mouth is smeared red all over with her lipstick. In the hollow of her throat, a dark bruise has formed, and there’s another just below Lena’s collarbone. Further proof that last night was not a dream. Supergirl had marked her. Lena swears, poking gently at the hickies. They wouldn’t be easy to hide.

_What would mother think if she knew? If she could see you now, thoroughly fucked and marked by an alien. What would Lex think?_

The dark thoughts rise, unwanton, drawing Lena’s mouth into a hard line in the mirror. Lena tries to shake them off as she hops in the shower.

Afterword, Lena does her best to cover the hickies with makeup, before choosing a collared shirt, just in case. In her living room, Lena has to right the coffee table and a kitchen stool they’d knocked out of place as they clumsily tumbled towards the bedroom. She also checks to make sure the balcony door is locked. It is. Supergirl must have locked it when she left. Lena lingers for a moment by the balcony door, briefly searching the sky despite herself.

\-------

Lena is indeed late for work. She walks out of the elevator, nervously adjusting the collar of her shirt. Jess is waiting anxiously for her outside her office.

“Ms. Luthor! Are you alright?” Jess’s face is scrunched in concern. Lena’s eyes go wide and she fights a blush.

_Does Jess know? How could Jess know? Can she see the hickies?_

“Y-Yes, of course. I’m fine. Why?” Lena asks hesitantly. Jess is looking at her strangely.

“Well, you were late. So I called your phone but you didn’t answer. So I checked your office and it looked like...well it looked like there had maybe been a _struggle_ or something…” Jess is saying.

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, no, no._

“Your desk was pushed out of place, and stuff was knocked off onto the floor. I found your phone. I almost was just about to call the police when security called from downstairs to tell me you had arrived.”

Lena’s mouth is very dry when she finally speaks.

“I’m fine, Jess. I promise. I just got a little…”

Thoughts of Supergirl’s hands and mouth all over her as she lifted Lena onto the desk flash through Lena’s mind.

“I just had a little too much to drink last night. And I um guess I made a mess, before I went home. I’m sorry, I worried you.”

She touches her assistant’s shoulder reassuringly, while also avoiding the young woman’s curious gaze.

“Oh, well...that’s okay. As long as you’re alright...Are you sure you’re alright, Ms. Luthor?” Jess still sounds unsure.

“Nothing a good day’s work won’t cure.” Lena says bitterly, thinking of the disappointment she’d felt at waking up alone. She pushes past Jess and into her office. Jess was right, it looked like there had been a struggle. The desk was pushed slightly out of place. Several folders, her stabler, and a pen were on the floor. And when Lena walks around to the other side, she spots her shirt and bra. She quickly kicks them further under the desk, out of Jess’s view.

“So what’s on the agenda today?” she asks, a dark blush rising up her neck.

 

\-------------

 

Several hours later, Lena arrives back at her office after a meeting with some investors. She is flanked by her CFO and two interns. Jess approaches them as they exit the elevator.

“Ms. Luthor!”

“Jess, could you order lunch for Ms. Maclyn and I? We still have some things to discuss in my office before the conference call?” Lena says, without looking up from the email she’s reading.

“Yes, Ms. Luthor, of course, it’s just…” Jess sounds strange, not her usual put together self. This draws Lena’s face to Jess’s fists curled nervously at her side as the girl glances uncertainly between Lena and her guests.

“What is it, Jess?” Lena asks, curiously

“You have a visitor.” Jess says, tightly. “In your office.” Lena’s brow furrows.

_Why is Jess being so cryptic?_

“Is it Ms. Danvers?”

Jess shakes her head, but doesn’t elaborate. Lena turns to Ms. Maclyn and the interns.

“Could you please wait for me in conference room three? We’ll just eat there, more space anyway. I’ll just be a moment.” Ms. Maclyn eyes Jess suspiciously as she turns and leads the interns away. Lena turns back to Jess, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning in.

“What’s going on?”

“Supergirl is in your office!” Jess whispers hurriedly.  

Lena’s whole body tenses, her mouth goes dry again, and she’s probably blushing. Lena recovers quickly and casually says

“Why are you being so weird about that? Supergirl is…” Lena trails off, completely unsure how to finish such a sentence after last night.

“Well, I just wasn’t sure if you wanted people to know…” Jess hesitates.

“Know what?” Lena challenges, her voice low and daring.

“How... _friendly_ you two are?”

Lena can't tell if Jess is asking her or telling her. She just stares at her assistant, not sure who she’s more annoyed with. Herself for being so damn obvious or Jess for noticing. Jess just looks down at her shoes. Finally Lena steps towards her office door, hesitant.

“What did she say she wants?” Lena asks, suddenly nervous.

“Um well, I went into your office maybe five minutes ago, to put the notes for the conference call on your desk, that’s when I saw her on the balcony. She came to the door and asked if you were here. I was so nervous I dropped my tablet and rambled for like a minute…”

Lena smiles to herself.

“Yes, she can have that effect on people.” 

“Well, I told her you’d be back soon and that she could wait. So I um think she’s still in there.”

“Okay. You order lunch. I’ll...take care of this.”

“Yes. Ms. Luthor.” Jess says scurrying gratefully back to her desk.

 

Lena locks the door behind her as she enters her office. Supergirl is really there. Facing away from her, leaning with her hands pressed against the desk, staring out the window. Lena takes a few tentative steps towards the heroine. She can’t help but remember the total safety she’d felt as she fell asleep in Supergirl’s arms, and the utter emptiness when she’d woken to cold sheets beside her. She straightens her back, crosses her arms over her chest, and makes her voice sound as neutral as possible.

“Supergirl.” is all she can manage.

The blonde immediately spins, her hair whipping around, a bright smile lighting her face. And Lena almost melts, she almost smiles back.

“Hi.” Supergirl says bashfully. She seems to take in Lena’s rigid posture. She steps closer to Lena, like she wants to touch her, but isn’t sure if that’s okay.

“I’m sorry to just show up. If you’re busy I can come back later.” She says, pointing a thumb over her shoulder. Lena relaxes slightly at Supergirl’s insecure tone.

“Where’d you go this morning?” Lena asks, trying not to sound too hurt. Supergirl’s face reddens and it’s the first time Lena’s seen her blush. She didn’t even know the alien could blush. The blonde rubs at the back of her neck and averts her eyes nervously.

“I um...” her voice is quiet, Lena steps forward to hear her better “I wasn’t sure you’d...want me...to stay, ya know?”

Lena uncrosses her arms, and sighs.

_Why did she want that?_

Lena was no stranger to the occasional one-night stand. She didn’t usually mind waking up alone from such encounters and being spared the inelegance of the morning after.

_But this was somehow different...wasn’t it?_

“I didn’t know how you’d feel...after…” Supergirl is saying, slowly bringing her eyes up to meet Lena’s. They both take a step closer.

“I feel…” Lena says trying to figure that out as she speaks.

She remembers how good it felt when she’d finally rushed forward and pressed her mouth to Supergirl’s. The relief and rightness of the moment. She remembers the desperation and desire that had prompted her to slide Supergirl’s hand up under her skirt. The ecstasy of her release and the intimacy of the moment after. She remembers the most powerful woman in the world coming undone against her mouth and how beautiful the sight had been. She remembers the care Supergirl had shown afterwards holding Lena as she fell asleep.

She reaches out for Supergirl’s hand, slowly pulling the woman closer. Supergirl lets her. Until their bodies are once again pressed against each other. Until they’re breathing the same air. Looking into Supergirl’s clear blue eyes, Lena says surely.

“I feel good.” Supergirl smiles and Lena kisses her. Different than last night. Slower, sweeter. It feels shy, like a first kiss.

That doesn’t last for long. They quickly become heated as Supergirl moves forward, her hands on Lena’s hips as she moves them backwards, until Lena is pressed against the office door. Lena is kissing Supergirl erratically, first her mouth then her chin then her jaw then her ear. Supergirl is much more focused. Her lips trail down to Lena’s throat pressing firmly into her skin. This reminds Lena of the marks the Super left the night before.

“If we’re gonna be doing... _this_ ,” Lena starts a bit breathlessly “We need to set some um ground rules.”

Supergirl breathes “Okay.” absentmindedly, switching to the other side of Lena’s neck and biting gently, causing Lena to groan. Her strong hands are splayed over Lena’s ribs under her jacket. Her thumbs running along the edge of Lena’s bra over her shirt.

“First of all, no...marking me. We don’t all have hicky-proof skin.”

Supergirl chuckles against Lena’s neck.

“But you like it.” Supergirl protests, sucking lightly at the space under Lena’s jaw. Proving her point, Lena shivers and stifles a moan.

“That’s...beside the point.” Lena pants. Supergirl chuckles again and pulls back to look at Lena with a playful look in her eyes.

“Okay, what else?”

_Good question. What else? What else?_

“No, um powers, in bed.” A cringle forms on the superhero’s brow.

“I told you I can control myself.” She says simply. Lena laughs and touches the blonde’s face.

“Right, tell that to the hole you almost burned in my ceiling.”

Supergirl blushes and shakes her head.

“Keyword, being _‘almost’_ ”

“Horseshoes and hand-grenades, darling.” Lena teases. Supergirl laughs, kissing Lena gently.

“Fine. No powers. But just so you know I could do some... _interesting_ things for you, if you let me.”

Lena raises her eyebrows and is almost tempted to give in. It had been awhile since someone taught her something new in bed. But there was still a nagging hesitation. Lena didn’t want to call it fear.

“Maybe we’ll work our way up to that. Okay?” Lena says, quietly. Supergirl nods, conceding

“Alright.”

Lena tries to ignore the disappointment in the heroine’s voice.

Lena spend a moment trying to think of more rules, more lines she isn’t willing to cross.

She keeps coming back to that moment this morning, when she had reached out with hope and Supergirl’s warmth hadn’t been there to meet her.

“No staying the night.” she declares suddenly.

Supergirl looks up, her brow creased again in confusion, maybe even hurt.

Lena had let herself need Supergirl last night. She had let herself believe for a second that needing someone was something she could allow. She had been foolish enough to expect not to be alone and the disappointment had hit far too hard for her liking. She didn’t want to feel it again.

“I don’t want us to get confused about what this is.” She finds herself saying, in an even tone.

“What is this?” Supergirl asks. Lena finally settles on an answer she’s comfortable with.

“Fun.”


	6. And It Was Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supergirl and Lena pillowtalk  
> Lena tells Kara about the arrangement

And it is fun. More fun than Lena’s had in years, since everything that happened with Lex. Since she’d taken over L-Corp, Lena’s love life had been nonexistent and her sex life had been nothing but a string of one or two night stands. The sex...The sex with Supergirl was incredible. Maybe the best she’d ever had. It was definitely in competition with that summer she’d spent in Rome, but had yet to rival the weekend she spent at that music festival in Ibiza. It wasn’t that Supergirl was an extraordinary lover, though she was very good, it was their chemistry. Something electric would pull them both in, making everything more intense. Maybe it was the forbidden element to their arrangement; a Luthor and a Super. Maybe it was Supergirl’s otherness. Lena didn’t know and she didn’t really care. 

Other than the mind-blowing sex, their situation hadn’t changed very much. Supergirl would still come by several days a week. They would look at the stars, tell each other about their day, share stories, play chess, or sit quietly. And then they would go to Lena’s bed and find relief in each other. 

If Lena didn’t know any better she’d say they were dating. But of course, when you’re dating someone you usually get to know their name. You usually get to wake up to them in the light of day. You get to introduce them to your friends and your family. Hold their hand at parties. She and Supergirl didn’t get any of that. 

And Lena had no way to know what the superhero was thinking. She was a mystery. Supergirl let Lena set the pace and the rules of their arrangement. She never asked for anything more or less. Never seemed to question why Lena was doing this. And Lena’s glad. She is not sure what her own answer would be.

 

Late one night, after they’d both climaxed multiple times, they lay quietly in Lena’s bed. Supergirl’s arm around Lena, Lena’s head on her naked chest. Lena found herself thoughtfully tracing the House of El symbol over Supergirl’s skin.

“Why do you wear it?” she asks quietly, surprising even herself with the question. Supergirl gently strokes Lena’s hair, her voice sounds sleepy when she responds.

“What do you mean?” 

Lena sits up, props herself on her elbow, and rests her chin in her hand. She continues tracing the S.

“The crest of your family. Why do you wear it? If you’ve becomes so disillusioned with them...with what it stands for.”  Supergirl turns on her side, and plays with a strand of Lena’s hair.

“My family made mistakes, it’s true. And sometimes I’m ashamed of them. But that symbol...it means something outside of their mistakes.” Lena lays down beside her, so they’re facing each other, eye to eye, green meeting blue in the dark room.

“What does it mean?” Lena asks, curiously. She’d always wanted to know. She’d asked Lex once, and he’d joked that the ‘S’ stood for superior. He hadn’t laughed when he’d said it. 

Supergirl takes Lena’s hand and moves her thumb softly across Lena’s skin as she speaks.

“On Krypton it meant...stronger together. And I still believe in that. Even though it’s just me and Kal-El now…” Lena reaches up and caresses the heroine’s face. It’s an action Lena only allows herself here in the dark of her bedroom. It’s too much really. More than what she means for them to be. But the sadness in Supergirl’s voice pulls on Lena’s heart. She knows how it feels to be alone.

“Here on Earth,” Lena tells her “it’s a symbol of hope. It helps people believe in heroes. That’s reason enough to wear it.” Supergirl smiles, a bright spark in the darkness.

“Yes,” she says happily, kissing Lena’s fingers one by one “It certainly is.”

 

\---------

 

The next morning Kara Danvers drops by L-Corp to surprise Lena with pastries. Jess shows her right in, of course, and Lena can’t contain her excitement when she sees her friend and the box of donuts she’s carrying.

“Oh, you are truly an angel, Kara Danvers!” Lena says standing up and giving Kara a hug. Kara laughs and places the treat on Lena desk before taking a seat.

“You say that like I haven’t already eaten four of them.” Kara chuckles. Lena opens the box and pulls on out for herself before sitting back down.

“I’m just grateful you left me any at all with your appetite.” Lena teases her, pinching a bite from her donuts and popping it in her mouth.

“So are you here on business or pleasure?” Lena asks Kara, hoping it’s only the latter.

“I just wanted to stop by. “ Kara says “You’ve been busy lately so I wanted to check in.” Lena nods and takes another bite of her donut.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry about that. I’ve been…” Lena tries to come up with an excuse for her recent distance from Kara. They’d barely seen each other since Lena started... _seeing_ Supergirl. 

Lena felt awkward for some reason. She and Supergirl had never explicitly said this thing between them needed to be kept secret, but it seemed sort of implied. Keeping this sexual relationship a secret worked in both their favors. And as far as Lena knew Supergirl hadn’t told anyone. Not even Agent Danvers or Kara. And so Lena was unsure if it was her place to tell Kara. Even as her friend, Lena was unclear on how well Kara really knew Supergirl. She’d never really seen them interact. 

And aside from the general discretion, Lena simply hadn’t been keen on telling Kara she was sleeping with someone. If she was being honest with herself, she didn’t want to ruin any chance of...well of _something_ happening between them in the future. Though Lena knew that was a foolish hope. At best Kara was uninterested in her romantically, and at worse she was crushing on a straight girl. Both of which would lead only to more heartache. So instead, Lena was Kara’s friend. She may pine a bit in her weaker moments. But fucking Supergirl had proved to be quite therapeutic even for that.

“Kara, can I tell you a secret?” Lena says rather suddenly. Kara’s eyes go wide at the change in Lena tone. But the girl nods, adjusting her glasses in that cute way Lena loved.

“Of course, Lena. We’re completely off the record.” Kara laughs and shifts in her seat.

“Okay,” Lena puts her donut aside and brushes the crumbs from her hands. 

_ This is what friends do. _ She told herself.  _ Friends whisper and giggle about romantic encounters. They confide in each other.  _

“So I’ve been seeing someone.” Lena says plainly, watching Kara’s reaction closely. Kara’s eyes go wide again in surprise, and her mouth opens slightly but no words come out. 

Lena continues before Kara can speak.

“It’s new. And complicated. But so far I’m really enjoying it.” Lena says, gesturing with her hands nervously. 

Kara finally seems to find her voice, she fiddles with her glasses again.

“You’re dating someone?” she asks with a hint of skepticism. Lena would be insulted, but honestly she’d be just as confused. Lena schedule didn’t allow much social time. Little did Kara know most of the relationship they were discussing happened late at night while the city slept.

“Yes, well, no. Not dating exactly. We’re sleeping together.” Lena clarifies. Kara gets a familiar cringle on her brow.

“What’s the difference exactly?” Kara asks shyly. Lena tries not to laugh at Kara’s innocence. She averts her eyes as a blush crawls up her neck.

“Well, we don’t go...out. We just meet up, have sex, then she leaves. It’s simpler that way.”

“Oh.” Kara says, a blush rising to her cheeks as she looks away. Lena smiles despite herself.

“So you don’t...really like her then? Outside of um sex?” 

The question takes Lena off guard. Her brow furrows and she feels a frown pull at her lips. 

“I...well, no, of course, I...I like her, it’s just…” 

That’s the first time Lena had admitted it out loud. She did like Supergirl. Even before they slept together...Lena had craved her visits, her conversation, her silence. Just her strong soothing presence. She missed her fiercely when she woke up alone that first morning…

_ And every morning since. _ She admits to herself.

“I’m sorry.” Kara says, reaching forward to take Lena’s hand. “I didn’t mean to sound judgemental.” Lena smiles and squeezes Kara’s hand reassuringly. 

“No, you didn’t. I just...hadn’t thought about it that way.” Lena tells her. 

Kara still looks guilty. “I just...I’ve never been in a relationship like that before. It sounds confusing.” the blonde says sympathetically.

“It’s definitely not for everyone.” Lena laughs, trying to elevate the tension. “But for now I’m…” _Happy?_ She asks herself. “...satisfied.” she concludes. 

Kara turns red and laughs.

“No, I- I just meant I’m happy with the arrangement!” Lena says quickly, laughing at her own poor choice of words.

“Well, I’m very glad for that.” Kara says, smiling shyly. “So who is the lucky lady?” she finally asks, a strange expression on her face. 

Lena hesitates. 

She still didn’t know how close Kara and Supergirl were. This could make things weird between them, all of them.

“I’d rather not say.” Lena says slowly.

“Oooh, mystery girl.” Kara teases. Lena smiles slyly. 

_ You have no idea. _ She thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really enjoying writing this fic, you guys! Thanks so much for reading and commenting! It's so encouraging. Though I'm writing this fic for myself more than anyone. I just love this dynamic so much, not just between Supergirl and Lena, but between heroes and their love interests. Just because it seems so insurmountable (the secrets and in this case the history, and particular here because of the whole alien aspect), but they are drawn to each other and just can't resist it. I love it!  
> I'm not sure exactly how many chapters this will be, but I warn you, there is still awhile to go. I'm aiming for a happy ending, but there will be some serious angst between here and there. I have things planned; terrible terrible things. So you have that to look forward to.


	7. This Is Extremely...Unprofessional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated in Lena's office, and Jess find out more than she wants to

Lena had been sitting at her desk, minding her own damn business, preparing for a meeting later this afternoon. When Supergirl had appeared on her balcony. And just like that Lena was pinned against the far wall of her office, her legs wrapped around the heroine’s waist, an urgent kiss against her lips.

Lena moans into Supergirl’s mouth. This visit was certainly unexpected, they rarely saw each other during the day, but not in the least unwanted. Supergirl had been busy the last several days, due to a new alien gang rolling into National City, and hadn’t had the time or energy to visit Lena. But judging by the way Supergirl was kissing her now, she had definitely missed Lena as much as Lena had missed her.

“This is my office, you know…” Lena pants, when Supergirl’s mouth moves lower, trailing soft kisses down her neck.

The blonde had gotten rather good at not leaving marks. Well, at least not leaving marks where anyone would see.

“I work here.” Lena is struggling to concentrate as the kryptonian grinds her abs against Lena, causing delicious friction.

“This is extremely…” Lena gasps, when Supergirl’s thumb finds her nipple through her blouse “...unprofessional.” Supergirl looks up at Lena, their lips brushing slightly as she speaks

“I want you.” Supergirl says against her mouth, her voice low and earnest, as her hand slowly moves up Lena’s thigh.

 _Oh fuck._ Lena thinks, any thoughts of halting her lover completely evaporate.

Lena kisses Supergirl hard, wrapping her arms around the other woman’s neck, and tangling her hands in the blonde waves. She feels Supergirl’s smile as they kiss. One of the heroine’s hands slipping under her skirt as the other deftly unbuttons Lena’s blouse.

They didn’t usually have sex in Lena’s office. A little making-out, some groping, sure. But not since that first night on Lena’s desk, had Supergirl touched her here.

“What do you want…?” Supergirl asks, her mouth kissing at Lena’s jaw, up to her ear lobe. Lena whimpers as Supergirl’s fingers toy with her underwear.

“I…” before Lena can form a coherent response, her office door opens and Jess walks in, with an intern on her heels.

“Ms. Luthor, it’s time for your three-thirty- Oh my God!” Jess drops her tablet and stares open-mouthed. “Oh my God!”

Supergirl pulls away at super-speed, nearly dropping Lena in the process. Lena steadies herself against the wall and quickly rebuttons her blouse.

“Jess!” She hisses, still breathless.

The intern looks not only shocked by also terrified, probably afraid she’ll be fired for seeing this.

Supergirl takes several steps away from Lena holding her hands behind her back, completely guilty.

“I am so sorry! So so sorry, Ms. Luthor! I didn’t know! I thought maybe, but I didn’t-” Jess rambles on, looking desperately between Supergirl and Lena, like she still can’t believe what she’s just seen.

“Get out, Jess! Give us a minute!” Lena snaps.

Jess trips over the intern who is still gawking at them, as she backs out of the room.

“Of course! Yes! I’m sorry, Ms. Luthor. Oh my God.”

_I wish she'd stop saying that..._

Jess slams the door shut behind her, leaving her tablet still laying on the floor.

They are quiet for a long moment. Lena is still breathing heavily. They don’t look at each other.

“I think, you ripped my panties, you pulled away so fast.” Lena says, a smile playing on her lips.

Supergirl must have been holding her breath. She lets out a great sigh of relief and smiles back at Lena. She wraps her arms around Lena’s waist, holding her closely, their foreheads pressed together.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles, her eyes shy.

“About what exactly? My underwear, my employees, or the fact that you got me all worked up and now can’t finish the job?”

Supergirl chuckles, leaning in for a kiss.

“All of it.” She mutters against Lena’s lips.

Lena places a gentle hand on the heroine’s chest, her palm pressed against the House of El symbol.

“You should go now.” She says quietly, pushing her lover away.

“What will you do about them?” Supergirl asks, nodding towards the door.

“Never look them in the eye again?” Lena suggests as Supergirl releases her and steps towards the door.

“Good luck with that.” Supergirl says “That’s where most of your intimidation comes from.”

“I intimidate you?” Lena teases, raising her eyebrow. Supergirl scoffs, but blushes.

“You wish.”

Lena smiles as she watches the superhero leaves. With a sigh she walks over to her desk and calls Jess on the intercom.

“Jess, come in her please.” She says, pinching the bridge of her nose.

She takes a seat back at her desk, as Jess comes in. The assistant is looking down as she quietly enters, picks up her abandoned tablet, and comes to stand by Lena’s desk.

The girl is struggling to suppress a grin as she waits for Lena to speak.

“Sit down, Jess.”

Jess slowly sits, purposefully pushing her glasses up her nose, and hugging the tablet to her chest.

Lena takes a long time to speak.

They had been going at it for nearly two months now, and as far as she knew, their secret was safe. Now there was this situation. And Lena had to ask herself some questions she’d been avoiding. Such as, what were they doing really? What was the point? How long could it go on? Could it ever be something more? Did  she want it to be something more? What would they do if people found out?

 _What would I do if my family found out?_ The thought makes Lena suddenly nauseous.

“You knew already.” Lena states, plainly.  Jess averts her eyes from Lena’s calculating gaze.

“I...Well, I suspected that you...I thought you probably…” Jess’s can’t seem to find the right word.

“You knew.” Lena says firmly this time.

“I knew you liked her. Yes. But I had no idea you two were…” Jess struggles again.

“Fucking? Yes, well, we are. And now you know.” Lena says tightly.

Jess’s mouth falls open, giving Lena the slightest bit of satisfaction.

“Now, Jess, you’ve been my assistant for a long time. And I admit you are my favorite. I _trust_ you. And after the...incident with Alana, that really means something.” Jess shakes her head, and leans forward.

“Ms. Luthor, I would never tell anyone. I swear. I...just want you to be happy.”

 _Happy? Is that what I am?_ Lena shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

“Good. Thank you.”

Jess nods, seemingly satisfied with her declaration.

“What about Lisa?” she asks.

“Lisa?” Lena stares at her in confusion.

“The intern, Lisa, who also saw Supergirl’s hand up your skirt.” Jess says. Her tone is flat, but a smile pulls at the corner of her mouth.

Lena’s face turns red. It may be the only time Jess has seen her blush.

“Right, of course, umm give her a job. Someone’s assistant in whatever department she wants, with full benefits. Makes sure she understands why.” Lena tells her. Jess nods and stands.

“Bribery, got it. Understood.”

Lena smirks at her.

“You’re not funny.” She tells her assistant.

Jess heads toward the door, her eyes already glued back on her tablet.

“And Jess…”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor.”

“I don’t want to talk about this again.” Lena says seriously, meeting the girl’s brown eyes. Jess’s mouth tightens in confusion, like she wants to ask a question. Instead, the girl just nods.

“Of course, Ms. Luthor.”


	8. How Long Does It Take You To Realize You're Glad to Be Alive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More pillowtalk and storytelling; also light smut

Lena whole body quivers as she comes under Supergirl’s mouth. Her back is arched off the bed and her hands are clutched in Supergirl’s hair. Her mouth is open, but only a long soft moan escapes. Supergirl’s hand slows, but she continues licking at Lena happily, like she could do it all night.

_God, her stamina…_

Lena’s body slowly relaxes, she sinks back down into the mattress, humming contently. Supergirl removes her fingers, and splays her hand across Lena’s belly, her thumb stroking the soft skin there. She kisses Lena’s still sensitive clit affectionately, causing Lena’s hips to buck weakly.

“You want to go again?” Supergirl asks, a smug smile on her glistening lips. Lena huffs out a laugh, utterly exhausted and yet still inexplicably turned on.

“You are ridiculous.” Lena tells her, running her fingers through the blonde’s hair. Supergirl laughs against Lena’s skin as she kisses her way up her lover’s body.

“Fine, we can rest. If you’re into that sort of thing,” The heroine collapses flat on her stomach beside Lena, her arms spread wide, one laying over Lena’s chest. Her blonde hair fans out on her bare back, and her blue eyes drift closed.

Lena trails her fingers over the Kryptonian’s toned arm, poking curiously at her bicep.

“What are you doing?” Supergirl mumbles without opening her eyes. Lena rolls over on her stomach too, so they are facing each other. Supergirl’s arm falls between them and Lena continues to stroke her gently with her fingertips.

“Objectifying you.” Lena teases. Supergirl’s mouth twitches with the hint of a smile.

“It tickles.”

Lena smiles too. She draws her fingers up, along the blonde’s shoulder, over her neck, tugging at her ear.

“You’re so beautiful.” Lena whispers. She doesn’t mean to say it. Doesn’t mean to even think it.

Supergirl opens her eyes then to find Lena staring back at her. Lena runs a thumb over the other woman’s eye brow, frowning when she feels the scar just above her left eye.

“How did you get this?” She asks thoughtfully “I thought you couldn’t get hurt.”

Supergirl sighs, and closes her eyes again.

“I got it when I was young, back on Krypton. No superpowers there.”

Lena nods saying “Right, of course. It’s just so strange...You’ll never have another scar.” She pulls her hand back and tucks it under her pillow. “Is it a good story?” She asks.

Supergirl smiles fondly at the memory.

‘Would you like to hear it?” She asks Lena like she’s daring her. Daring her to show an interest.

 _This is what couples do._ Lena realizes. _They learn each other’s scars._

“Yes.” she whispers, her voice trembling a little. Supergirl readjusts, folding her arms under the pillow.

“I must have been 10 or 11 at the time. Only a few years before…” Supergirl struggles this way every time she tells Lena about Krypton. Like she can’t remember the good without remembering that it’s gone. “My father and I had traveled to this canyon out in the desert for one of his botany projects.”

“You’re father was a botanist?” Lena asks surprised. Supergirl smiles and shakes her head against the pillow.

“No, no, he was a politician. Botany was more of a hobby. He had lots of hobbies.”

“Sounds like an interesting man.”

Supergirl’s smile turns sad.

“He was a busy-body. That’s what mother use to say. He liked to stay busy and he liked to learn new things.”

“I can relate.” Lena tells her.

“We went out to the canyons to collect Blood Blooms. They were this rare cactus type plant on Krypton. They only bloomed for a few weeks a year in the canyons.” Lena reaches out and brushes a strand of blonde hair behind the other woman’s ear. Her hand lingers there, palm caressing Supergirl’s cheek as she speaks.

“We were having trouble finding any, so we split up to look. Father told me not to go too far, but I had a tendency to...wander.”

Lena laughs at this, a rebellious little Supergirl was a funny thing to picture.

Supergirl rolls her eyes. “Finally, I found one of the plants, blooming just off the side of the cliff. So I laid down on my stomach to reach for it. I remember thinking how happy Father would be, how proud, if I could just reach out and grab it.”

“What happened?” Lena asks, her eyes drawn once again to the scar.

“The ground gave away a bit. Crumbled under me. I tumbled down onto a lower ledge. The rocks cut me up pretty good.” Supergirl reaches up to feel the scar herself, rubbing it like she can still feel the sting.

“I’ll never forget how scared my Father sounded. I could hear him up above me, calling out my name. He must have thought I was dead, with the way he was screaming.”

Lena can never remember someone shouting out for her like that. And for a moment, she’s jealous. Jealous of this woman who’d lost everything she ever loved.

 _At least, she got to love something…_ Lena thinks, bitterly _and be loved in return._

“Father pulled me out, no problem.” Supergirl continues “I had a few cuts and bruises, but I was fine...And most importantly, we got that Blood Bloom.” She laughs.  Lena pushes away her self-pity, managing a smile. Supergirl turns on her side and props herself up on her elbow.

“Now, it’s your turn!” She tells Lena excitedly.

“My turn?”

“Yeah,” Supergirl insists “do you have any scars?” Lena shakes her head.

“None with good stories, I’m afraid. Horseback riding accident here…” Lena points to a mark on her left hip. “Lex and I playing with very expensive, very real swords here…”  she points to a pale thin line on her shoulder. “We really got in trouble for that one.” Lena remembers.

Supergirl is still smiling despite the mention of Lex.

“So tell me something else…” The blonde says, her blue eyes boring into Lena. “Tell me anything.”

And for a moment, Lena wants to tell her _everything_. Her entire life story. Every bad thought, every wish on every star, every theory, every heartbreak...But that’s too much. Lena knows its too much. She would be too much. So instead she tells her just one thing. One thing she’d never even said out loud.

“I’m a Luthor.” Lena says slowly, staring at a spot in the darkness beyond Supergirl’s face.

“What...What do you mean?” Supergirl asks cautiously. Lena closes her eyes, takes a deep breath.

“When I visited Lillian at the jail...before she escaped. She told me...She told me that I really am a Luthor, by blood. Lionel was my biological father.”

Supergirl blinks at her, stunned. She had clearly been expecting a different kind of story. The silence goes on too long and words begin to pour from Lena. Her voice sounds far away, like she can barely hear herself saying the words.

“He had an affair with my mother. And when she died in a fire, Lionel insisted they take me in. Lillian didn’t want him to, but...I had nowhere else to go.”

“Lillian knew? When they adopted you?” Supergirl asks quietly.

Lena nods, she can feel the urge to cry build hot and aching at the back of her throat.

“Yes. She caught them together before I was even born.” 

“Why did they lie? For all those years...why not just tell you the truth?”

Lena shakes her head, holding back tears. She couldn’t bear to cry now. Not in front of Supergirl.

“I guess they didn’t want anyone to know about Lionel’s...transgression.” Lena says bitterly. “Better to look generous and compassionate by adopting some poor little orphan, than have a bastard daughter in the tabloids.”

Supergirl shakes her head angrily, and looks away.

“That’s why Lillian treats you so terribly. She blames you for your father’s…”

“Weakness.” Lena supplies. “That’s what Lillian called it. Lionel’s weakness.” They are quiet for a moment.

“How does it feel?” Supergirl asks, looking at Lena with nothing but sympathy.

“Like I’ve been poisoned.” Lena whispers, her voice shaking with anger or sadness, she’s not sure which. “His blood in my veins...There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to be a real Luthor. Now it feels like a curse.” Supergirl reaches under the pillow and takes Lena’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Your blood doesn’t matter, Lena. Just like your name doesn’t matter.” She touches Lena’s face, looking in her eyes. “Only what you do matters.” Lena gives her a small sad smile, because she’s beginning to actually believe it.

“Now, you tell me something…” Lena says clearing her throat. “A secret. Something no one else knows.”  Supergirl takes a minute to think, her thumb stroking the back of Lena’s hand. Then her expression grows grave. She turns on her back and stares up at the ceiling.

“I have this dream sometimes, or...maybe it’s a nightmare.” Supergirl closes her eyes as she speaks. “I’m back on Krypton, watching Kal-El’s pod take off. My mother is programming mine. I can hear explosions and screams. The ground shakes like an earthquake. And the sky has turned a strange color, almost blinding...almost beautiful.”

Lena thinks of the bright flash of an atomic bomb and the mushroom cloud that follows.

“Mother leans down, tells me it’s time to go. She tells me to look after Kal-El. She tells me she loves me. She tells me to get into the pod...but this time I don’t. This time I refuse. I kick and I scream and I cry and beg her to let me stay. I beg her not to send me away.” Supergirl’s voice cracks. And Lena reaches for her hand, she squeezes as hard as she can.

“She forces me anyway…” Supergirl goes on “Then I’m in the pod, screaming, flying away, watching her fade, watching my whole world fade and explode…” Lena feels her squeeze back, gently as always. “I always wake up then, and for a moment...I always wish I’d died with them.”

Supergirl falls silent, her eyes closed.

Lena doesn't know what to do. Comforting was never her strong suit.

Slowly, hesitantly, Lena crawls on top of Supergirl, straddling the woman's waist. Supergirl's hands move up to Lena's hip instinctively, but she stares up at Lena curiously. Lena leans down and places soft kisses up Supergirl's neck.

"How long does it take you?" Lena asks against her skin. Lena readjusts, moving down, kissing her lover's chest then her abs.

"Take me to what?" Supergirl asks, her breath quickening.

Lena situates herself between the Super's legs, nipping at the inside of her thighs, as she watches the heroine begin to squirm.

"After the dream, after you wake up..." Lena says between kisses, moving closer and closer to where she wants to be "How long does it take you to realize..."

Lena kisses Supergirl's clit softly, her tongue flicking it experimentally. Supergirl's hips arch towards Lena's mouth, but her blue eyes stare down at Lena intently.

"...you're glad to be alive?" Lena asks.


	9. Special Delivery From Cell Block X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anniversary of her father's death is always a difficult day for Lena, but this year is even tougher, since she's discovered she's Lionel's biological daughter. It's hard to believe her day could get any worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the angst really begins, buckle up

Today was the anniversary of Lionel Luthor’s death. Lena had taken the morning off, like she did every year, to visit his grave. He was her father after all, her real father it turns out. She was still having a hard time wrapping her mind around that fact.

Lena didn’t have any strong beliefs about the afterlife. The Luthors weren’t a particularly religious family. And as a scientist Lena felt pretty secure in her assumption that nothing lay beyond death. Nothing but your legacy that is. Every year she visits Lionel’s grave, and wonders what he would think of what’s become of his legacy. There wasn’t much left. A disgraced son, a deranged wife, and a disappointment for a daughter. 

The weather was dreary, which seemed appropriate to Lena. Lionel was buried in the same plot as his parents, Lena’s grandparents, and next to him was a spot reserved for Lillian. Lena paid to have the flowers kept up, so all three graves were adorned with fresh white carnations. Lionel’s headstone is by far the biggest, with the most elaborate carving. An intricate depiction of the Ouroboros (the snake that eats it’s own tail) is carved above his name. And underneath, “Loving husband and devoted father”, his epitaph read “You cannot teach greatness, only inspire it”. 

Lionel had inspired Lena. His aloofness inspired Lena to greatness more than Lillian’s disapproval ever could. 

_ I just wanted you to notice me. _ Lena thinks bitterly.  _ Pathetic.  _

She had always assumed he’d been disinterested, because she wasn’t his daughter. But now she knew the truth. Lionel had been ashamed of her, of his own weakness. 

Lena noticed a man walking among the gravestones, she pulled her jacket more tightly around her. She had nothing to fear. Two of her bodyguards, Sam and Frank, were there with her. Frank waiting by the car, and Sam only a few feet behind Lena, standing quietly. She assumed the man would just walk on by her, on his way to his car, but he stops about ten feet away eyeing her bodyguard closely. He wore a heavy black trenchcoat, with his collar pulled up against the wind.

“Ms. Luthor?” He said carefully. Lena looked back at Sam nervously. Her bodyguard stepped forward between her and the stranger, one hand on his gun, the other held out to ward the man off.

“Step back, Sir.” Sam said, his voice steady. The man didn’t move, ignoring Sam completely, he looked around him at Lena.

“Ms. Luthor, I’m not here to hurt you.” the man said. Lena straightened her spine, and put on her best authoritative tone.

“If you’d like to speak with me, you’ll have to make an appointment with my office. This is my father’s grave, I’d like to be left alone.” 

“I have something for you.” The man said, still unmoving.

“You need to go.” Sam said, trying to get the man’s attention off Lena. Lena turned, annoyed her visit would have to be cut short, heading back towards the car.

“Your brother sent me!” The man shouts. Lena stops in her tracks. Her heart beats faster and her hands begin to tremble at the mention of Lex. Sam also reacts to her brother’s name. He draws his gun and points it at the stranger.

“That’s enough. Get on the ground! Now! Get on your knees!” The stranger sighs, annoyed, but raises his hands anyway.

“This isn’t necessary, Ms. Luthor. I’m unarmed.” The man falls to his knees anyway, hands raised above his head, as Sam approaches him. Lena takes a deep breathe and turns to face him, not moving any closer.

“My brother sent you here?” She asks, willing her voice not to shake. Sam checks the man for weapons, finding nothing.

“I’m a messenger, Ms. Luthor. Not an assassin.” Lena and Sam make eye contact, as Sam moves away from the stranger, gun still raised.

“He’s clean, Ma’am. But I think, we should go.” Lena hesitates, her heart pounding in her ears.

“There’s an envelope in my jacket pocket. It’s from your brother.” The man says, standing slowly, hands still in the air. Sam glances at Lena, who gives a curt nod. Sam steps forward, taking a large manila envelope from the man’s inside jacket pocket. Sam eyes the package curiously.

“That’s for Ms. Luthor’s eyes only.” The man says, a hint of a warning in his voice. Sam scoffs, backing away.

“It could be poisoned or something, Ms. Luthor. Lex is a tricky son of a bitch.” Sam warns her.

“How did you get this?” Lena asks, taking the envelope from Sam. If Lex wanted this man to kill her, surely she’d be dead by now. He could have just shot her with a sniper rifle or something.  The man begins to back away, in the direction he came from, further into the graveyard.

“Your brother’s lawyers hired me.” 

Lena nods. Of course, the lawyers wouldn’t want to be directly involved in giving Lena anything illegal. She turned the envelope around in her hands carefully.

“I don’t want to see you again. Do you understand?” She tells the man, her voice low and threatening. The man smiles wolfishly, finally lowering his hands.

“Goodbye, Ms. Luthor.” He turns and leaves. Lena holds the envelope so tightly her fingers ache.

“Let’s go, Sam.”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor.”

 

\-----------

 

Sam and Frank climb back into the front of the car. Lena gets in the back where Jess is waiting for her. 

“What was that about?” her assistant asks, eyeing the envelope in Lena’s hands curiously.

“Special delivery from Cell Block X.” Lena says gravely. Jess’s eyes go wide, jumping from Lena’s blank face to the envelope and back again.

“Would you like me to call the police?” Jess asks gently. She knows how sensitive Lena can be about her family, especially her beloved brother.

“No...not yet.” Lena says, her fingers toying with the clasp on the package. Sam speaks up from the passenger seat.

“Ms. Luthor, I really wish you’d let one of us open it first. It could be anything.” Lena is already shaking her head.

“Take us to L-Corp. I’m late enough as it is.” 

Sam looks like he wants to protest, so Lena presses a button and a black screen rolls up separating the back of the car from the front. Jess is looking at her with concern.

“Ms. Luthor…”

“All this time he’s never reached out this way. Not once.” Lena whispers, her hoarse raw with emotion. 

Jess falls silent, a sad expression on her face. Lena can’t stand to see her pity. Slowly, carefully, Lena opened up the envelope, her hands shaking, betraying her fear of what might be inside. Lena pulls out it’s contents shyly. Jess averts her eyes, respectfully, busying herself with her tablet.

Lena stops breathing when she sees what’s inside.


	10. Dearest Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna let this letter speak for itself...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to read Chapters 9 & 10, I posted them at the same time, so I want to be sure no one skips Chapter 9 on accident

_ Dearest Sister, _

_ I hope this letter finds you well. I’d feign insult for the lack of calls or letters I’ve received from you, but we both know they allow me no such basic human rights in this cage. _

_ I miss you, Lena. And despite our disagreements the last time we spoke, I like to imagine you miss me too. _

_ I often think of that day, when they let me see you and mother before the verdict was read. Do you remember what you said to me? You told me you loved me. But you said you were disgusted by what I had done, what I had become. You said you didn’t understand.  _

_ And I accepted that. After all, can anyone ever truly understand someone else? We’re all such mysterious creatures. I spent years, trying to understand you. Hearing you call out in the night for your dead mother. Watching you endure my mother’s cruelties, father’s coldness. Even as you wept for his loss on this same day 15 years ago, I tried to understand your pain. But...I never could. _

_ I know you didn’t understand my solutions to our alien problem, but I thought you at least understood the problem itself, Lena. _

_ It seems I was terribly mistaken. _

_ Now imagine my shock, dear sister, imagine my disgust when mother sent me these photos. Proof of how lost to me you’ve become. Please don’t be angry with mother for spying. In her own twisted way, she does seem to care about you. Despite your constant betrayals. _

_ At first, I busiest myself with rationalities, making excuses for you. Perhaps you were keeping an eye on our enemy. Maybe it was part of an elaborate scheme.  But no, that was just hope talking.  _

_ Admittedly, I don’t know Supergirl. Her cousin kept her existence well hidden from me. But I can assure you, Lena, I know Kryptonians.  _

_ No matter her charms and seductions, be sure of this, sister, she thinks she’s better than you. Her goodness, whatever kindness she may have shown you, is a facade. Her heroics are meant to inspire worship. If she tells you she cares for you, if she tells you she understands, her words are beautiful lies, meant to take down your walls. I say this because I do still love you, Lena. She will never love you. She is incapable. She only wishes to conquer you. And it seems she already has. The next time you let her have you, know this, now I am just as disappointed in you as you are in me. _

 

_ With all my love, Lex _

  
_ P.S. I’m glad father isn’t alive to see us now. Both brought to our knees by a Super; in one way or another. _


	11. You're a Beautiful Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena breaks down and lashes out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's some angst...try to enjoy it

Lena’s heart is pounding, she's struggling to slow her breaths, and hot angry tears swell in her eyes as she reads Lex’s letter. She read it three times, each time the lump in her throat grows more and more difficult to swallow.

_ What have I done? _

“Ms. Luthor? What is it? Are you alright?” Jess is talking to her, but her voice sounds very far away to Lena, easy to ignore. 

At last, Lena sets the letter aside and reaches back inside the envelope, pulling out the photos.

The photographer had clearly been hiding high up in the buildings across from L-Corp and Lena’s apartment; stalking her. 

_ Just waiting for me to make a mistake. _

The pictures had been taken over the course of the last several weeks. Lena remembers some of these moments. In some they were in Lena’s office, out on the balcony. Others were taken at Lena’s penthouse; her living room, her bedroom. In some she and Supergirl look innocent enough; they were just talking. But in others they were in various states of undress.

She and Supergirl talking on the balcony, standing close, smiling at each other. 

She and Supergirl holding hands. 

Supergirl fucking Lena on her desk. 

Lena pinned against a wall. 

Lena on her knees. 

It’s the very last photo that finally draws a sob from Lena. She puts a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound.

The last photo is of her and Supergirl standing on her penthouse balcony. Their foreheads pressed together, Supergirl caressing Lena’s face. 

Lena doesn’t remember this moment. But looking at it now, in high resolution, she realizes how dreamlike their time together seems. Up until this moment it was easy to imagine she’s just made it all up. A wonderful forbidden fantasy in her mind. But no...it was very real. Maybe the realest thing in Lena’s life. 

_ And now Lex has fucked it up. _

“Ms. Luthor…” Jess places a comforting hand on Lena’s shoulder, her voice full of concern. Lena flinches away from her, violently.

“Don’t touch me!” Lena snaps, struggling to control her emotions. Jess shrinks back, her brown eyes alarmed. Lena can’t tear her eyes from the pictures. She feels so totally expose. So completely vunerable.

_ Why couldn’t I invest in some fucking curtains?  _

Lena lowers the barrier between her and the driver.

“Frank?” She croaks out, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

“Yes, Ms. Luthor?” 

Lena stuffs the photos and the letter back into the envelope.

“Change of plans. Take me home.” Lena clenches her fists, fighting off the familiar beginnings of a panic attack, her nails biting into the skin of her palms. Lena tries to focus on the pain. Tries to focus on anything other than Lex’s words ringing in her ears.

“Of course, Ma’am.” Frank says. Lena rolls the screen back up as the car changes direction.

“Jess, clear my schedule for the day. Cancel everything.” Lena says impassively, staring out the car window at the city rushing by.

“But, Ms. Luthor...” Jess starts gently.

“Just do it, Jess!” Lena shouts, desperately. “Please.” She’s trying so hard not to cry, but a few spiteful tear escape anyway, leaving trails on Lena’s cheeks. Jess looks away reluctantly. She starts typing away on her tablet, rearranging Lena’s schedule.

It seems forever before the car pulls up in front of Lena’s building, her hands were beginning to cramp from Lena’ clutching her fists so tightly. Lena grabs the envelope and begins to exit the car.

“Ms. Luthor, what about your dinner plans with Ms. Danvers? I made reservations at that new Mongolian place-”

“I can’t, Jess...I just can’t.” Lena’s voice is ragged, like it hurts her to speak.

“Ms. Luthor, please, is there anything I can do-” Lena gets out of the car and slams the door. 

She feels bad for mistreating Jess, but if she stays here one more moment, if she says one more word, she won't be able to control herself. She can feel herself breaking down.

She makes it into the elevator before the sobs rock her body, her shoulders shake and her legs go weak. Lena slumps against the wall, letting the tears fall, her breaths coming in short erratic bursts.

_ What was I thinking? _

Of course, her family found out. They always did. They found out all her secrets and ruined every good thing in her life. 

_ Though I do a fine job at that all by myself.  _ Lena thinks, angrily. _ What will Lex do now? What will Lillian do?  _

The letter and the pictures were just a taunt, sent to make Lena feel like shit. Which of course she did. 

_Mission accomplished._

But there would be worse consequences. Lena knew that. And not just for her, but for Supergirl too.

This realization brought on a new wave of panic as Lena exited the elevator. Her chest tightening and her vision blurry as she entered her apartment.

Lena knew Supergirl was bulletproof, but she remembered how her mother’s cyborg lackey had tossed the hero around the L-Corp lobby and how that sonic device had brought the Kryptonian to her knees at Lex’s vault. Supergirl wasn’t invincible, and if anyone could find away to hurt her it would be Lex. And it would be all Lena’s fault.

_ Why couldn’t I just fucking control myself? _

Lena kicks off her heels and goes straight to the liquor cabinet, pouring herself a glass of scotch and downing it in one go. She pours another and slides down to the floor with the bottle in her hand, crying all the while.

 

\---------------

 

Lena spends the day drowning in her guilt and fear and doubt and  _ anger _ . 

She’s not sure who she’s angry with. She's always mad at her mother for being a nosy manipulative cunt. She’s mad at Lex for being insane. For knowing her so well. For knowing exactly what to say and how to say it in order to hurt her the most. She’s mad at Supergirl. Which she knows is completely unfair. But if Supergirl weren’t here being...the way she is with Lena. Confusing her with their closeness. Lena never should have let her guard down. She never should have allowed their relationship to mean more than sex. She never should have let it exist in the first place. So she supposed she was angry at herself, as well. For being too soft. For opening herself up to this pain. 

_ You have no one to blame but yourself.  _ It’s her mother’s voice inside her head, scolding and mocking.

She drinks to ward off the panic attacks that keep threatening. And by the evening she’s in quite a stupor.

Of course that’s when Supergirl shows up.

 

Lena is in the kitchen pouring another drink, when she hear the soft knock on the window. She had pulled all the curtains in the apartment closed earlier, once she pulled herself off the kitchen floor. But Lena knew it was her. The knock was a familiar one. Two soft taps from Supergirl’s knuckles. Lena takes a large swallow from her glass before walking over and pulling back the curtain. 

Supergirl is there, leaning lazily against the glass, a small smile on her lips. Until she sees Lena expression at least. Lena’s sure she must look terrible, eyes red and bruised from crying, wearing her favorite sweatshirt over a pair of shorts.

_ You shouldn’t be here. _ Lena thinks growing angry again. Y _ ou never should have been here with me. They hate you even more now.  _

She slides open the glass door and immediately turns away, walking back towards the kitchen. Supergirl enters quietly, sensing that something is wrong.

“Hey.” She says closing the door behind her.

“What are you doing here?” Lena’s voice is curt and impassive. She sips from her scotch, to avoid looking at Supergirl. 

The blonde is obviously thrown off by Lena’s brusqueness, she stammers for a moment, lingering near the balcony door.

“Um, well, I came to check on you.” 

Lena laughs harshly.

“Oh,  _ checking on me _ . Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Lena does look at Supergirl then, her eyes hard and scrutinizing. Supergirl’s brow crinkles in confusion and maybe hurt. She took a few steps closer to Lena, concern clear in her voice.

“No, I just...That’s not what I meant-”

“What did you mean?” Lena asks angrily, walking around her kitchen island. Supergirl’s mouth pulls into a thin line as she reigns in her own spike of anger. Lena watches the woman school her expression.

“Kara was concerned when Jess canceled your dinner plans. And...Jess mentioned that today...is the anniversary of your father’s death. So I just thought…”

“You thought what?” Lena raises her voice stalking closer to Supergirl. “Thought you’d come over here and take my mind off it?”

“Lena, no…” Supergirl moves forward, reaching out for Lena.

“What? We’d fuck for a few hours then talk about my daddy issues?” Lena is getting hysterical now. She hears the awful words coming out of her mouth but feels powerless to stop them. 

_Maybe this is for the best. Maybe she'll leave. And it can all be over._

She jerks away from Supergirl’s touch, flinging her scotch glass into the floor between them. 

“Lena!”

Glass goes all over the floor, the remaining scotch in a brown puddle. Supergirl stares at it stunned. “Lena, what’s going on?” 

Lena ignores her concern.

“Well, let’s get on with it then, shall we?” 

Lena moves around the broken glass, pulling her sweatshirt over her head and tossing it aside. Supergirl’s eyes go wide as a topless Lena grabs her arm and pulls her over to the sofa. She presses the Kryptonian, who could easily resist her, against the arm of the sofa and kisses her hard. Lena tangles her fingers in Supergirl’s hair, tugging on the blonde strands and pulling an involuntary moan from the other woman. Lena abruptly pulls away, dropping to her knees.

Supergirl is breathing heavily. “What are you doing?”

Lena reaches under the Super’s skirt, and begins pulling her stockings down her thighs. “Lena, stop it.” Supergirl says, but she doesn’t move to stop her.

“Why?” Lena asks bitterly “Isn’t this what you came here for?” Supergirl’s faces twists in confusion. 

“A Luthor on her knees for you?” Lena continues, running her hands up and down Supergirl’s thighs “You and your cousin can get together later. Have a good laugh about it.” 

Supergirl has heard enough.

“Stop! Stop it!” She grabs Lena roughly by her arms and hauls her up off the floor. The blonde looks more distressed than Lena has ever seen her.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asks, shaking Lena. 

For the first time, since she arrived Lena looks into Supergirl’s eyes. Fear and concern stare back at her.

_ She really cares. _ Lena realizes, her anger slipping away.  _ Why does she care? _ Quickly replaced by her earlier despair.

Supergirl watches the change in Lena’s expression, her face softens and she reaches up to caress Lena’s cheek, gently.

“I don’t know.” Lena whispers “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 

Tears swell in her eyes and she can no longer hold them back. So she breaks her most important rule and let’s Supergirl see her cry. Her shoulders shake and she sobs. 

Supergirl immediately pulls Lena against her chest, holding her closely as she finally breaks down.

“I’m so sorry.” Lena sobs into the House of El symbol, clinging onto the heroine. Supergirl picks her up, cradling Lena against her chest. 

“Shhh, it’s okay,  _ zrhuriao _ .” 

It’s the first time Supergirl has spoken Kryptonian to Lena and it’s so beautiful it just makes Lena cry harder. 

Supergirl carries Lena down the hall into her bedroom. She tucks Lena into bed then super-speed out of her suit. She climbs in next to Lena wearing only her underwear. Lena crawls back into her lover’s arms, her head on Supergirl’s chest. Supergirl holds her tightly, whispering reassurances against Lena’s hair, and pressing kisses into her temple.

“I’m right here. You’re okay. I’m here,  _ zrhuriao _ .” 

They lay like that for a long time, until Lena’s sobs subside, turning slowly to hiccups and sniffles as she runs out of tears and her breathing returns to normal. Supergirl continues to run her hand through Lena’s hair quietly.

“What’s that mean?” Lena finally asks, timidly. “That word...zrh-zrhuriao?” Lena can't make it sound right from her tongue. She wants Supergirl to say it again. 

For a moment, she thinks Supergirl won’t answer her, then softly… “Beauty.” 

Lena can feel Supergirl’s breath against her skin. “It means you’re beautiful, Lena.”

Lena shifts so she can look in Supergirl’s blue eyes. They are still narrowed in concern, in sadness, and confusion, but Lena loves them anyway. They are like a perfect sky staring out at her.

“I’m a mess.” Lena tells her, quietly. “I’m fucked up.” her voice breaks, and Supergirl reaches up to stroke her face. Her thumb catches the remains of tears on Lena’s cheek.

“You’re a beautiful mess, Lena. And you’re gonna be alright.” Lena wants so badly to believe her. She takes the blonde’s hand in hers and presses hard kisses to her knuckles.

“Stay with me tonight, please.” Supergirl nods. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” She pulls Lena closer as the brunette rests her head on her chest. Lena is exhausted in more ways than one. She falls quickly to sleep in Supergirl’s arms. 

Another rule broken.


	12. What happened Yesterday?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Supergirl deal with the aftermath of Lena's breakdown, and finally start communicating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody! Thanks for joining me again. I am really loving writing this fic and reading your comments. Thanks for those by the way. I'm sorry for all the angst and despair and sadness, but that's kinda my kink so (sorry not sorry). I'm glad you've hung with me through that. This chapter is still a little painful, but there are bright spots in the darkness, I swear. I've decided this fic will have a happy ending, so there is that to look forward to. And I'd say we're only a few more chapters away from the end, maybe 3 or 4 (I'm not sure). At least one of those chapters will be fairly smutty, fyi, if you've been missing that aspect of this story.

Lena wakes up to a massive hangover. Her mouth is dry and its takes entirely too much effort to force her eyes open. As soon as she does she regrets it. The room is too bright, hurting her eyes, and making her head pound. Lena groans, closing her eyes and turning away from the window. Moving was also a mistake, her stomach churns and Lena is sure she’s gonna throw up. She freezes, her eyes squeezed shut, hoping if she doesn’t move the nausea will subside.

When she opens her eyes again, she sees that she is not alone in bed. Supergirl is sleeping soundly in bed beside her. She’s lying on her stomach her face turned away from Lena, blonde hair splayed out across the white pillows. Lena reaches out slowly, finding it hard to believe the hero is actually there, and shyly runs her fingers through Supergirl’s hair. Lena smiles despite her pounding head.

 _She stayed the night._ Lena allows herself to be happy about this for about 5 seconds.

Then the memories of the day before hit her like a freight train. Lex’s letter, the photos, all her anger and fear, her fight with Supergirl. Lena bolts from the bed and rushes to the bathroom, she pukes until her stomach decides it’s has no more to give. She hauls herself into the shower and stays under the water for longer than necessary; afraid to go out and face her overnight guest.

Looking at herself in the mirror hurts, and not just because of the bright overhead light. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy from crying. Her upper arms are bruised where Supergirl grabbed her, and dragged her off her knees the night before. Lena rubs at the dark marks, letting the ache ground her.

She has to end it. She knows that. That’s what she had been trying to do the night before, but in her drunken state, she’d obviously gone about it all wrong. But ultimately the best thing for both of them would be to stop. Maybe letting Lex win would be enough to stave off his wrath.

 _Who are you kidding?_ She thinks. _There will be consequences, no matter what you do now. It’s too late._

And now surely, Supergirl would see the truth in the harsh light of day. Getting involved with Lena had been a mistake. Luthors only ever brought pain to those around them and each other.

_And I am a Luthor._

Lena pops two aspirin from the medicine cabinet and wraps her robe around her.

It was time to set her hero free.

 

Lena opens the bathroom door slowly, the sound of the hinges unbelievably loud. She freezes, losing all of her nerve as she sees Supergirl sitting on the edge of the bed, her back to Lena.

 _Oh God, she must hate me._ Lena struggles to breathe.

Supergirl turns her head slightly, looking at Lena from the corner of her eye. She's in her underwear, so Lena can see all the muscles of the heroine’s back and arms. Lena remembers what’s it like to run her hands over them, to be cradled in the Kryptonian’s embrace. And she fights the lump that rises in her throat as she realizes, she’ll probably never get to touch her again. Never get to feel that safety and warmth.

“Hey.” Supergirl’s voice is quiet and still rough with sleep. It would have turned Lena on, if the situation were different. If the blonde were here mostly naked in her bed after a night of  pleasure, rather than a night of holding Lena despite the ugliness Lena had displayed.

“Hi.” Lena says, trying to keep her voice from breaking. Lena slumps against the door frame and hugs herself, unable to move any closer.

“How are you feeling?” Supergirl asks over her shoulder, her voice giving nothing away.

_Be angry. I know you must be. You don’t have to be nice to me after what I've put you through. I release you. You don’t deserve any of this._

“Horrible.” Lena whispers, too quietly. Supergirl only hears it because of her enhanced senses. Supergirl nods, but says nothing, as she faces forward again.

Lena can’t take it, the space between them feels like miles, and she just wants...she just wants to be held again. She just wants the last day to be a nightmare. She just wants the memory of Supergirl’s face the night before erased. Lena moves forward, sitting carefully on the opposite side of the bed.

“I’m…” she stammers, she hesitates, because nothing she could say seems like enough.

“Lena…” Supergirl doesn’t turn to look at her, but the sadness in her voice makes Lena's eyes burn with fresh tears.

“Lena, do you really...The things you said last night…”

The alcohol has done nothing to blur Lena memory of last night. The way Lex's words had tasted in her mouth as she spat them at Supergirl. She sound of the scotch glass shattering against the floor. Supergirl's strong arms around her.

“I was drunk.” Lena struggles not to cry and her voice cracks.

“I was drunk and angry and I’m so so sorry.”

Supergirl turns her head again.

“Do you really think I’m here to...Do you believe you’re a _conquest_ to me?” Supergirl's voice shakes then, and Lena is caught off guard.

She’d let Lex’s words get to her, thrown them back at Supergirl like knives. She’d meant to hurt the alien, make her angry, make her leave.

_But you’re still here. And you’re blaming yourself somehow. Unbelieveable._

“No, I-I should never have said that.” Lena rushes to reassure her.

Supergirl turns towards her slightly, meeting Lena’s eyes for the first time today. Her blue eyes sad and shining with emotion.

“You are not a game to me, Lena. Not a toy I’m here to play with. And if I ever, even for a second made you feel that way, I am so sorry.”

Lena reaches forward without thinking, taking her lover’s hand.

“No, you didn’t! You never did. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I thought...this is what you wanted.” Supergirl shakes her head obviously frustrated.

“When we first...when we started this, you said you wanted it to just be fun. You wanted to keep it casual. You didn’t want me to stay over. You said that! So I didn’t, but now…”

Lena moves closer to her on the bed, unable to keep away. She cups Supergirl’s face in her hands.

“I know, I did. I was afraid. I’m sorry.” Lena is crying now, and she thinks Supergirl is on the brink too. All Lena wants to do is assure the heroine none of this is her fault.

“I knew you were afraid of me, of my powers.” Supergirl is saying, not meeting Lena’s gaze.

“I understand. But Lena if you really believe I would ever hurt you or use you, I can’t do this anymore. Not if you think so little of me.”

Lena is frantically shaking her head, trying to get the Kryptonian to look at her, to see that none of that is true.

“No, darling, no, please…” But Lena can’t find the words to explain.

_Hadn’t she just decided this was for the best? That ending things between them was the best way to protect the superhero._

“That’s not it at all, darling I swear! Please, just look at me.” And Supergirl finally does, slowly, shyly, she looks up as Lena strokes her cheek.

“I do trust you. With my life, I trust you. I...I know you would never hurt me.” Lena brushes Supergirl’s hair behind her ears.

“I made all those rules and set all those boundaries, because I was afraid of what this is...of what this might be. I don’t...I’m not good at letting people in.”

Supergirl’s brow crinkles, she reaches up to touch Lena’s cheek.

“But last night…”

Lena shakes her head and sighs.

“Last night wasn’t about you. Not really. Something happened. I was upset...and drinking and I said all those terrible things because I was hurting. Because I’ve been confused and frustrated and scared about what this is. What we are to one another.”

Lena can’t believe she’s saying the words out loud.

_What do I have to lose at this point?_

“What happened?” Supergirl asks, her voice turning steely.

“Did someone hurt you?” Lena shakes her head, wanting so badly to deny her reality.

_What should she say? Yes, my brother, one of the only people who has ever really made me feel loved and accepted. He hurt me. And he used you to do it. And he hates me now. And he’s probably gonna use every ounce of wealth and influence he has left to destroy us both._

There’s so much to say, so much to explain and apologize for. Lena doesn’t know where to start.

Supergirl’s face changes abruptly and she tilts her head, listening to something Lena can’t hear. She pulls away from Lena gently, and stands up.

“I have to go. There’s a hostage situation…”

Lena nods, and before she can say anything the heroine is fully clothed, cape and all.

Lena is sure she’ll disappear then. Maybe she’ll disappear and never come back. The possibility makes her chest ache.

Instead, Supergirl kneels down in front of Lena, taking her hands.

“I’m sorry about this.” She strokes her thumb across Lena’s hand.

“Can I...Is it okay if I come back later?” Lena almost cries again, quickly wiping the tears out of her eyes, and nods.

“Yes, of course. Please.” Supergirl presses their foreheads together.

“Whatever’s wrong, whatever has happened. We’ll figure it out. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you, Lena.” Lena wants so badly to believe her.

Supergirl stands, placing a soft kiss to Lena’s forehead.

“I have to go now.”

Lena nods and tries to focus on breathing in and out.

“I know.”

And then she’s gone, and Lena’s never felt so fucking alone.

 

\------------

 

Lena can’t convince herself to go into work. Even after everything she missed the day before. Luckily, today is Saturday, so she doesn’t feel like a complete shirker. 

She spends nearly an hour on the phone with Jess, apologizing for her behavior the day before and organizing her schedule for the next week. She also makes a point of texting Kara, remembering that Supergirl had mentioned the reporter’s concern is what had spurned her visit to begin with. 

 

**To Kara: Hey, I’m sorry for canceling our plans yesterday. Something came up and I wasn’t feeling up to it. I didn’t mean to worry you.**

 

It takes Kara longer than usual to reply.

 

**From Kara: It’s no problem! Is everything alright? Feeling better?**

 

Lena wasn’t sure how to answer her friend’s simple questions. Things were still so far from alright. And though Lena had managed to go the whole morning without having a panic attack, she wouldn’t really feel better until Supergirl returned and they talked. _If_ Supergirl returned.

 

**To Kara: I’ve just got a lot on my mind. I'll be okay.**

 

**From Kara: Anything I can do?**

 

Lena knows that just seeing Kara walk through the door and smile at her would do wonders for her mood. The blonde always made Lena feel better, took her mind off of everything. But she couldn’t ask Kara over now. Not when she was still so fragile. Not when there was still so much Kara didn’t know. And not when Supergirl could turn up at any moment. 

 

**To Kara: No, I don’t think so. Thanks tho. I’ll fill you in when things are sorted out.**

 

**From Kara: Promise?**

 

**To Kara: Yes, I promise.**

 

**From Kara: :) I’m here if you need me**

 

**To Kara: Thank you, Kara :)**

 

Unfortunately, Kara wasn’t the blonde Lena really needed at the moment.

 

Instead, of falling back into bed and wallowing, Lena spends the day cleaning up her apartment, which she made a mess of during her breakdown, and working from home. She returns phone calls and emails before falling back to sleep on the couch in the late afternoon.

When she wakes up Supergirl is there watching her sleep. Lena is curled up in the corner of the couch, her reading glasses sitting crooked on her face and laptop haphazardly discarded on the floor. Supergirl is sitting in the chair on the other side of the coffee table, bent forward, elbows resting on her knees, chin in her hands. Lena smiles shyly when she sees her and sits up.

“You came back.” 

Supergirl’s brow knots in hurt momentarily.

“I told you I would.” She says gently.

Lena shakes her head, removing her glasses and looking down.

“I know, I just...I missed you.” Lena’s voice is quiet.

 

_ When did I become this person? Pining and crying. Throwing drunken fits. What’s this woman done to me? _

 

Supergirl gives her a sad smile.

“I’m sorry, I had to leave you.” Supergirl moves from the chair to the couch, she pulls Lena against her side and Lenz eagerly snuggled into her, resting her head on the woman’s chest.  

“I feel like we have a lot to talk about.”

Lena releases a shaky breathe. They did have so much to talk about. So much Lena wanted to say. So much she was terrified to say. But she wasn’t really ready to talk about any of it. And most of all she dreaded Supergirl’s next question.

“What happen yesterday?” Supergirl’s fingers strokes Lena’s hair as she asks quietly. Lena struggles to subdue the anger and fear that bubbles back up as she thinks about Lex and her mother.

Reluctantly, she pulls away from Supergirl and pushes herself off the couch.

“I’ll be right back.”

 

Lena goes into her home office and retrieves the envelope from the safe where she'd stashed it yesterday when she couldn’t bear to look at the photos anymore. She sits back on the couch next to Supergirl and hands her the envelope with a trembling hand.

 

“This was delivered to me yesterday at my father’s grave. A man hired by Lex’s attorneys gave it to me.” Lena manages to keep her voice from quivering as she speaks.

 

Supergirl’s eyes go wide at the mention of Lex’s name, and her expression hardens as she slowly opens the envelope. 

Like Lena, Supergirl pulls the letter out first, before looking at the photos. Lena sits quietly and watches as Supergirl reads the letter. Her face twisting in anger. Lena reaches out to place a comforting hand on the heroine’s shoulder. The Kryptonian is shaking with rage. Supergirl takes out the photos and flips through them quickly before flinging them across the room. Lena flinches, withdrawing her hand instinctively. The photos fly violently all across the living room. Supergirl stands, Lex’s letter still clutched in her fist.

 

“I can’t believe he’d send this to you.” She says through gritted teeth. Lena watches her curiously, having never really seen Supergirl angry before.

“I can’t believe they would do this to someone they claimed to love!”

Lena shakes her head sadly.

“Love means different things to different people, I suppose.”

Supergirl looks back down at the letter, exasperated.

“You don’t deserve this, Lena. You...you are so much better than them.”

_ I’m trying to be… _

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter what I do. I’m always gonna be a Luthor. And to them that means I’m a traitor for what I’ve done with you. Lillian is still out there, planning God knows what. And Lex has a scary amount of influence even in prison. They won’t let this go.” Lena tries to hide the fear in her voice, but fails towards the end. 

Supergirl drops Lex’s letter and comes back to sit beside Lena, caressing the brunette’s face tenderly.

“I’m never going to let them hurt you, Lena.”

Lena shakes her head, fighting back tears.

“I'm not worried about me. I couldn’t live with myself, if they hurt you because of me.”

Supergirl takes Lena in her arms again, stroking her hair.

“Please don’t push me away.” Supergirl pleads, kissing Lena’s forehead. “We’re…”

“Stronger together?” Lena finishes her thought, pulling back to look in those blue eyes. Supergirl nods.

Lena thinks she sees a flash of something in Supergirl’s eyes, a spark of red.

“I won’t let them hurt us.” Supergirl declares.

Then the heroine is kissing Lena fiercely, holding her closely, promising to keep her safe. And for once, Lena lets herself believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, next Chapter will feature RedK Kara!! As if this relationship needed more problems, right? There will be smut and there will be angst. I love RedK Kara, but I've never written her before, so I'm excited for that and I hope you guys are too


	13. Metal and Powder and Lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena goes back to work, and Supergirl begins to act strangely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I was gone for so long! Life happened and I was having a hard time getting inspired.
> 
> But heres an update, hopefully followed swiftly by another chapter in the next few days. As promised, Red K Kara and coming soon: Red K Kara Smut

Supergirl’s voice is the last thing Lena hears as she falls asleep, and the first thing she hears waking up the next morning.

 

_ Dear God, I could get use to this. _ Lena thinks happily, before quickly scolding herself.  _ God please don’t let me get use to this. _

 

The soothing reassurances Supergirl whispered to her the night before are a world away from the gruff annoyance Lena hears in her tone now.

 

“Are you sure they need me?...I’m just asking...I’m kinda in the middle of something.... _Fine_. Alright.... _I said alright, Alex!_ I’m on my way.” 

 

Lena turns over in bed, stretching the sleepiness from her limbs. Supergirl is sitting on the edge of (what has apparently become) her side of the bed, in one of Lena’s old t-shirts. Lena watches as the superheroine turns her comm off with a frustrated sigh.

 

“Agent Danvers, I presume.” Lena grumbles, her voice still rough with sleep. Supergirl’s face softens immediately when she notices Lena is awake.

 

“Yes, it was.” There is a bite of irritation to the blonde’s tone Lena’s never heard before. Luckily, it’s directed at Agent Danvers and not her. 

 

“You have to go.” Lena tries to hide the disappointment in her voice, but it’s really too early for pretending.

 

“Of course, I do.” Supergirl says almost sarcastically. “The people of this city can’t behave themselves for one damn day. I try to sleep in and all hell breaks loose.”

 

She speeds away for a moment and reappears in the same spot fully dressed in her supersuit. Lena finds herself frowning at Supergirl’s words.

 

“Well, the work you do is important. Don’t neglect it on my account.”

 

Supergirl scoffs as she pulls on her boots.

 

“The world seemed to turn just fine before I showed up.”

 

Lena’s brow furrows as she watches the blonde. She’d never heard Supergirl complain like this before, it wasn’t like her. Before Lena can dwell on the heroine’s strange behavior, Supergirl is on top of her. Her warm weight pressing Lena back into the mattress as she kisses her hard. Supergirl’s hands are on Lena’s hips pulling her closer. It’s sudden and hungry and so hot. Lena can feel how much Supergirl wants her. 

 

Lena drags her lips from Supergirl’s to catch her breath, but Supergirl’s mouth continues moving over her jaw, under her ear, against her neck. The blonde’s hands move under the helm of Lena’s t-shirt, moving steady upward, making Lena squirm.

 

“Isn’t there a situation in need of your attention?” Lena pants, struggling to remember that they both have things to do today. Supergirl’s hands palm Lena’s breast roughly under her shirt and Lena gasps. Supergirl chuckles against her neck, and the sound only turns Lena on more.

 

“I think, you’re in need of my attention.”

 

Lena can only moan in response as Supergirl’s thumbs simultaneously graze across her nipples. Lena brings their mouth back together momentarily, before gently pushing Supergirl away. It takes a second of Lena pressing her hands against the symbol on her chest for Supergirl to reluctantly relent. Somewhere in the back of her mind this concerns Lena. Supergirl has always been quick to respond to Lena’s negative cues. But at the moment Lena is still too worked up to worry. 

 

“Fine.” Supergirl says with a aggravated sigh. She starts to stand, but Lena holds her in place, taking her hand.

 

“Hey,”

 

Blue eyes meet green and Lena searches for any indication that something in wrong. But all she sees is Supergirl starring back at her. The blonde’s hair is slightly askew from their kissing, and her expression holds a hint of frustration, but otherwise she looks perfectly fine. Like her lover. Like her hero.

 

“Come back to me? Okay? We’ll continue this later.” Lena tells her. A mischievous smile spreads over the Kryptonian’s face, she leans close to Lena’s ear and whispers.

 

“I can hardly wait.”

 

Lena feels a fresh jolt of arousal, at the Super’s words. Then the familiar rush of air as Supergirl speeds away, and when Lena opens her eyes she is alone in bed and missing the heroine already.

\------------------

After two days of completely neglecting her CEO duties, there is plenty for Lena to do at the office. The building is mostly empty, and Lena finds the silence a tad bit unsettling. She’s surprised to find Jess waiting for her.

“Jess?” The brunette smiles and offers Lena a latte.

 

“Good Morning, Ms. Luthor!” Jess is much more enthusiastic than usual, perhaps due to the fact that her boss recently had a nervous breakdown.

 

Lillian’s voice sneers inside her head,  _Calm yourself, Lena. You’re scaring the help._

 

“Jess, what on earth are you doing here? It’s Sunday.” Jess shrugs almost shyly.

 

“Oh, well, yesterday on the phone you said you'd be coming in today, so...I just want to make sure you have everything you need.” 

 

Lena averts her eyes, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

 

“Listen, Jess, about the other day…” Lena could feel Jess looking at her with equal parts concern and curiosity, but how to explain the mess that had become her life? Jess knew some of Lena’s secrets and struggles, but she didn’t know them all. At last, Jess took pity on Lena and let her off the hook.

“You don’t have to explain, Ms. Luthor. I just...I was worried. I’ve never seen you so upset.”

 

Lena only nodded in response, her emotions from that day entirely too easy to recall.

 

“Did everything at least get sorted out?” Jess asks, gently. 

 

_ No. _ Lena wants to say.  _ No, everything is certainly not sorted. My family is probably still stalking me and quite possibly now wishes me dead, because of my sexual indiscretions with this city’s superhero who, by the way, I may or may not be falling in love with.  _

 

“I...I’m still working on it.” 

 

Jess seems to accept that that’s all Lena will say on the matter.

 

“Well, please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

 

Lena breathes a sigh of relief.

 

“I would love to get to work. Lay it out for me. What did I miss?”

 

Lena throws herself wholeheartedly into work, her tried and true coping mechanism. Although, it was Sunday, she and Jess found plenty to do. Lena spent the day making phone calls, writing emails, reviewing reports, sending memos. She even found time to sneak in some lab work towards the day’s end. 

Since taking over the company, Lena so rarely got to indulge her passion for engineering. So she really revealed in the opportunity to do some tinkering. All of this served well as a distraction, to keep her mind off thoughts of Lex and Lillian and Lionel. One thing the work did not succeed in doing was keeping her mind off Supergirl.

 

At one point during the day, Lena turns on the news in time to see live footage of her lover foiling a armored truck robbery.  Lena rolls her eyes as she watches one of the robbers points his gun at Supergirl.

_ Why do these guys even bother?  _

Supergirl smiles delightedly at him. Lena only has a moment to find the smile strange on Supergirl’s usually kind face, when Supergirl rushes forward breaking the criminal’s arm in the blind of an eye. Lena gasps as the man screams and crumbles to the ground, cradling his broken arm. The cameraman seems equally horrified, Lena can hear him shout “Oh my God!” as the camera sways. Supergirl is pacing leisurely around the second robber who is staring at his partner in shock. The gun he has aimed at Supergirl visibly shakes for a moment, before her drops it and raises his hands. Only then does Lena notice that Supergirl is holding the first robber’s gun. She holds it in both hands eyeing it, curiously, before aiming it at the second man.

“Does this make you feel powerful?” Supergirl asks him. The mic just barely catches her words and they buzz with static, but Lena knows it’s the same voice that whispered comfort to her through the night. She can’t believe the cold cruelty she hears in it now. 

“Metal and powder and lead. Do you really think this makes you strong?” Supergirl asks, though it seems she’s talking more to herself than the criminal who has knelt down in surrender.

“How does it feel?” Supergirl steps forward and presses the gun to his head. “Not too good huh?” 

 

There’s a moment when everyone watching this must hold their breath, Lena certainly does. Then suddenly Supergirl’s bored. Lena can see the moment she loses interest. She tosses the gun and laughs, before lifting off into the sky, causing the camera to shake. The camera keeps rolling for a moment as several cops move in and cuff the robbers, they all look nervously up to the sky.


	14. You Were Just Letting The Demons Out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena grows concerned with Supergirl's behavior, but Supergirl does her best to distract her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...um...here is some sin and some feelings, enjoy
> 
> *blushes and hurries away

Lena has a hard time focusing after that.

She shuts off the news as the media begins to speculate and tries to get back to work, but she can’t stop seeing the cold curiosity in Supergirl’s face as she raised the gun and pressed it against the man’s head. Like she was wondering what it would feel like to kill him.

Jess comes in shortly after, looking a bit shaken, and Lena can tell she’s seen the same footage.

“Did you see…?” Jess trails off. Lena gives a curt nod.

“Yes. I was watching.”

Jess nods, but it’s obvious she wants to ask Lena more. Though Jess knows about her relationship with Supergirl, and liked to subtly tease Lena about it from time to time, they never talk about it. Lena had been very clear, and Jess respected that, but Jess wasn’t stupid. She suspected that Lena’s distress on Friday and subsequent absence on Saturday had something to do with the superhero. And now, in the wake of Supergirl’s strange behavior, Jess had to fight the urge to ask Lena about their affair.

“I finished looking over that memo, Ms. Luthor, and sent it out. Do you need anything else?” Lena sighs and leans back, noticing that the sky has turned dark. Lena glances down at her watch for the first time in ages. It was nearly 6:30pm.

“Thank you, Jess. I didn’t mean for you to be here so late. You can head home.”

Jess nods and steps towards the door.

“Don’t work too hard, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena smiles and waves her off.

“I’m not far behind you, I swear. Have a good night.”

“Goodnight, Ms. Luthor.”

\------------

Lena is true to her word. Unable to concentrate for thoughts of Supergirl, Lena calls it a night around 7pm.

She kicks her heels off at the door and pulls her hair from it’s tightly wound bun. Her dark hair falls heavily down her shoulders and across her back. Lena’s not sure what she’d like more a hot bath or a glass of wine.

_ Why not both? _

Lena pours the wine, brings the glass to her lips and pauses, hesitant.

Lena had never considered herself an alcoholic. Sure, she used alcohol to take the edge off her rather stressful existence, but isn’t that what it’s for? Other than a few too many drunken nights at boarding school and her latest display on Friday, she’d never really thought of her drinking as a problem. Besides, this was just a glass of wine after a long day, not the hard whiskey that had undone her a few days prior.

As Lena is contemplating to drink or not to drink, Supergirl lands rather suddenly on her balcony. The building trembles with her arrival. The blonde lets herself in, giving Lena a winning smile. Lena eyes her warily holding the wine glass to her chest.

“Supergirl.”

The Girl of Steel strides right over and wraps her arms around Lena’s waist pulling her close.

“Hey.” she says simply. Her tone is light and fond and miles away from the steely questions she’d asked that robber earlier today. Lena wants to ask her about it, ask if everything is okay. But she also wants this, to be in the Kryptonian’s arms.

Supergirl leans in and kisses Lena slowly, almost lazily at first. Then one of her hands snakes up to tangle in Lena’s hair drawing her closer. Lean moans softly and Supergirl laughs against her mouth and pulls away slightly, leaving Lena a bit breathless.

“Are you going to drink this?” Supergirl asks, gently taking the wine glass from Lena.

“I was thinking about swearing off drinking for a while.” Lena plays with the edge of Supergirl’s cape absentmindedly. She was trying to work up the courage to ask about her day, but really she just want to be kissing her again.

“Why is that?” Supergirl sets the wine down on the island, and turns her attention to Lena’s neck. She trails kisses against Lena’s ear, down her neck, softly teasing her.

“I don’t like the way it makes me act sometimes. How it makes me feel.” Lena tangles one of her hands in the blonde’s hair, encouraging her.

“The alcohol isn’t the problem, Lena.” Supergirl mutters against her skin, her mouth dragging lower as she kisses Lena’s collarbone, nipping lightly.  “The problem is the demons you keep caged up inside you.” She kisses across Lena’s collarbone and is making her way back up the other side of Lena’s neck.  “The alcohol only angers them. Makes them rattle their cages.” Supergirl bites Lena’s earlobe. “You should let them out.” She whispers.

Lena is unsettled by the words, by the implications. It snaps her out of the haziness of Supergirl’s affections and reminds her of the hero’s troubling behavior today.

“Is that what you were doing earlier?” Lena asks against Supergirl’s cheek. “When you toyed with those thieves? You were just letting the demons out?” Supergirl pulls back slightly to look at Lena, obviously annoyed.

“I just wanted them to know what it felt like.”

Lena searches her eyes and sees something strange staring back, a unsettling frustration she’d never noticed before.

“I get so tired of people hurting one another, Lena. For  _ money _ , or  _ pride _ , or _ power _ .” She spits the words out like they taste bitter in her mouth. Lena presses her hand to her lover’s cheek, trying to soothe her.

“I might be the most powerful person in the world, and I can hardly manage to keep them from tearing each other apart. Why do I bother?” Supergirl growls.

It’s a rhetorical question, but Lena reaches for an answer anyway, and comes up empty.

_ Don’t be such a pessimist, Lena. _ She tells herself.  _ People deserve saving _ .

She knows it's true, but she’s not sure why. She doesn’t know how to reassure Supergirl. Never thought she’s have to reassure Supergirl.

“Because you’re a hero.” Lena tells her simply, knowing that if nothing else this is true. Supergirl’s brow crinkles and she shakes her head.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Lena opens her mouth to respond, though she’s not sure what more there is to say, but Supergirl’s lips are on hers with a new heat. Lena moans at the blonde’s eagerness, wrapping her arms around the heroine’s neck. Supergirl’s hands travel down from her hips to grab her ass hard. Lena can already imagine the delicious ache from the bruises it will leave. Supergirl’s hands move lower over Lena’s thighs, until she pulls Lena up. Lena obediently wraps her legs around Supergirl’s waist, holding on for dear life. The blonde is kissing her like it’s the only thing she wants in life.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Supergirl mutters.  Then she uses her speed to take them across the room and press Lena’s back against the wall. Lena gasps in surprise, then in pleasure as Supergirl grinds against her. Supergirl had never used her speed with Lena before. Lena had made it clear she was wary of the Kryptonian using her abilities during sex. But at the moment Lena couldn’t have possibly complained.

Lena never realized how much the Kryptonian held back until she feels the barely restrained strength of Supergirl’s hands moving over her body. Pressing and gripping and holding Lena like she just can’t get close enough. Anymore pressure and it would hurt, which should concern Lena more. But right now it doesn’t hurt, not really, it feels amazing. Supergirl is kissing her with such urgency, Lena wonders where this new desire has come from. She doesn’t get to ponder it for long.

Supergirl’s hands move up her back, fumbling with the zipper of her dress, as Lena grinds against her abs. Supergirl groans in frustration when the zipper gets caught halfway down Lena’s back. She brings her hands back up to Lena’s shoulders and grips the sides of the dress with both hands. Before Lena can even realize what’s happening, Supergirl yanks her hands apart pulling the dress in two. It makes a very satisfying ripping sound and pulls taut against Lena’s flesh before giving away. Supergirl sighs in relief as she tosses the tattered remains to the side. Lena laughs, breathing heavily.

“Sorry.” Supergirl says, but she doesn’t sound like she means it. She begins kissing Lena’s newly revealed chest eagerly.

“What’s gotten into you?” Lena pants, biting her lip as Supergirl unclasps her bra and nips at her breast. Lena tangles her hands in the blonde's hair and arches against her mouth.

“I want you.”

It’s something Supergirl has said before, but this time it sounds less like _ I want you _ and more like  _ I need you _ . And Lena believes it. In this moment, Supergirl needs her, and it’s almost more than Lena can bare.

“What do you want?” Supergirl mumbles as she moves from one breast to the other, her hand snaking down Lena’s body to rest suggestively at the corner of her hip.

Lena’s head is spinning. Supergirl had asked her this question dozens of times, always eager to please, but this time Lena didn’t know the answer. She sputtered and moaned, unable to form a response under Supergirl’s ministrations.

She wants to know what's going on. She wants to know why her sweet hero pointed a gun at a man's head today. She wants to know where this primal, rough lover has come from. 

“I...um- I want…” Lena squirms needing Supergirl to stop teasing and just touch her already. That’s what she wanted.

Supergirl chuckles into Lena’s chest, low and teasing.

“Come on, Ms. Luthor,” she says, finally pulling down Lena’s underwear “in the boardroom, in the bedroom, you usually have no problem saying exactly what you want…”

Lena groans. She takes Supergirl’s face in her hands and brings her back up to kiss her hard. Their mouths move sloppily, hungrily against each other.

“Fuck me.” Lena hisses.

That’s exactly what Supergirl needed to hear.

Supergirl enters her swiftly with two fingers, and Lena gasps at the suddenness of it. They move together, Lena thrusting down to meet Supergirl’s hand. They kiss frantically as the pace speeds up.

“Hold on.” Supergirl commands, wrapping Lena’s arms around her neck. She speeds them away again, into the bedroom and onto the bed, without stopping the movement of her hand.

“Fuck!” Lena breathes, undeniable turned on by the display of speed. Supergirl lays pressed on top of her, braced on one arm, as the fingers inside Lena begin to vibrate at an inhuman pace. Lena arches upward, completely writhing under the Kryptonian. The blonde smiles and kisses her cheek, her temple, her earlobe.

“Say my name.” She whispers against Lena’s ear, as the brunette’s pleasure builds.

“ _ Supergirl _ .” Lena pants, desperately.

“No.” Supergirl says, almost hesitantly. “My  _ real  _ name.”

In her haze of pleasure, Lena almost doesn’t realize what’s happening, almost doesn’t realize what she’s being asked. Her first instinct is to deny it. To say she doesn’t know.

 

_How could she?_

 

But something deep down whispers the truth. Whispers what she hadn’t even admitted to herself.

 

_ You’ve known all along. _ It says.

 

As Lena’s body quivers and bucks and tenses with her orgasm, the word slips out like a confession.

 

“ _ Kara. _ ”

 

Supergirl kisses her deeply as she rides out her orgasm.

Lena can’t believe what’s happening. She can’t think. She can’t breath.

 

_ All this time. It was you. And all this time some part of me knew. _

 

Lena feels tears brim in her eyes, as she comes down from her high. Kara gently pulls out of her, and strokes her hair instead, kissing the few tears that escape down her cheeks.

To Lena, the only thing more unbelievable than fucking Supergirl, is fucking Kara Danvers. And the only thing more unbelievable than that was that she was doing both those things at the same time.

Unbelievable is Kara Danvers still fully dressed in red and blue, stroking Lena’s hair and kissing her face, muttering

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay.” over and over until she fall asleep, utterly exhausted by the best lay of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know this isn't the typical aggressive, mean RedK Kara from canon. But I've always liked that RedK doesn't necessarily make Kryptonians evil it just lowers their inhibitions and make them reckless and raw and selfish. It makes them just do or take whatever they want. So I thought to myself what does Kara really want right now? And the answer was 1. for people to in general just be better, 2. for Lena to know the truth, and 3. to fuck Lena Luthor's brains out, so this was the result. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if you were hoping for a scarier version of RedK Kara. The RedK will continue into next chapter and it will bring out a bit more of that scary side. Things are gonna escalate. Only maybe 2 or 3 chapters left.


	15. Something's Not Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena wakes up to Kara Danvers...or does she?

_Kara Danvers is in my bed._

_I had sex with Kara Danvers. I’ve been having amazing sex with her for weeks._

_Kara Danvers is Supergirl._

_I am so screwed._

Lena sits up in bed hugging her knees to her chest, staring at the sleeping blonde beside her. Lena has been awake for awhile now, just quietly watching Kara sleep, replaying the previous night over and over in her head.

 

 _“Say my name.”_ Supergirl had whispered. And so Lena had. Revealing something she’d been too scared to even admit to herself. She’d been sleeping with her best friend. And her best friend was the Girl of Steel. And she was probably in love with both of them.

 

_I am definitely screwed._

 

Kara is wonderfully bare as she sleeps face down. Her blonde curls splayed out across her back and over the pillows. She’s sleeping so peacefully, worlds away for the vehement creature she’d been last night.

 Something had been different last night. Until now, Supergirl had always been a rather careful lover. Not lacking passion, but certainly gentle. Lena had never realized how careful until last night. Last night, Supergirl was teasing and assertive and so so hot. Lena never could have dreamed Kara had it in her. But it had been Kara. Lena was sure of that now. She was embarrassed to have blinded herself to that for so long.

 

Lena reaches out timidly, running a hand through Kara’s hair, over her shoulders, down her back.

 

_You’re really here._

 

Kara stirs slightly, grunting in her sleep, and rolling over to hug her pillow closer, before falling silent again. Lena can’t help the goofy smile that plays on her lips. She is about to reach out again to wake her, eager to see the Kryptonian’s blue eyes, when there is a knock at her door. Firm and insistent, it echos through the penthouse.

 Kara shifts again in her sleep, but doesn’t wake. The clock on the bedside table reads 6:45 am.

 

_Who the fuck could that be?_

 

Lena swiftly and quietly climbs out of bed, as the knocking continues. She pulls a robe around herself and goes to answer the door. People weren’t suppose to have access to this floor without permission. Lena would need to have a word with the building’s head of security.

 She looks through the peephole and is somehow not at all surprised to see Special Agent Alex Danvers. The woman looks severely vexed, leaning with her fist against the door, threatening to knock again.

 

Lena looks down at herself, barely covered in a silk rope. Dark bruises litter the path Kara’s mouth took across her body the night before, all across her neck and chest, impossible to hide right now. This was the first time Supergirl... _Kara_ had marked her so thoroughly since their first night together. Lena still disapproves. It drove her wild in bed, but otherwise very inconvenient.

 

Trying to calm the blush on her cheeks, Lena composes herself and opens the door just a bit. Agent Danvers isn’t alone. Lena is immediately on edge when she sees Detective Sawyer is here as well.

 

“Agent Danvers? Detective? What are you doing here?” Agent Danvers looks right through Lena trying to see inside her apartment, and standing a little too close for comfort.

 

“Sorry to disturb you, Ms. Luthor.” Detective Sawyer says “I know, it’s early-”

 

“Have you heard from Kara?” Agent Danvers asks, interrupting her girlfriend, and finally focusing her eyes on Lena.

Lena opens her mouth but no words come out. Her trusty Luthor composure evading her momentarily. She glances from Agent Danvers’ concerned expression to Detective Sawyer’s apologetic one.

 

“Kara? Um…”

 

_She’s in my bed. She’s in my bed. She’s in my bed._

 

“No. I haven’t spoken to her today, seeing as the day has barely started.” Lena manages to lie, leaning casually against the door to further impede their view.

“What about last night?” Agent Danvers asks “Or at all yesterday?”

 

The worry in the other woman’s voice concerns Lena. She was certain Kara hadn’t told her sister about their...arrangement, and Lena was most definitely not going to be the one to break the news. What was she suppose to say?

 

_Oh, yes, your little sister is here. She’s still sleeping, worn out from fucking me senseless last night. Here take a look at the bruises. Hot, right?_

 

“Is everything alright? Is Kara in trouble?”

Agent Danvers turns away clearly frustrated.

 

“There’s a situation with Supergirl and we...need Kara’s help.” Detective Sawyer tells her. It takes all Lena’s strength to keep from rolling her eyes. Agent Danvers turns back around.

 

“Ms. Luthor, Kara hasn’t been answering my calls and she's not at home or at Catco. Do you have any idea where she might be?” It’s clear now that the agent is distraught.

 

“I’m afraid, I don’t know where Kara is. “ Lena lies again, it’s more difficult this time seeing the look on her sister’s face. “I’m sorry. But what’s wrong with Supergirl? Perhaps I could help.”

 

Agent Danvers sighs and hesitates. She and Detective Sawyer share a knowing look.

 

“We think she might be...sick.”

 

Lena thinks about the beautiful girl sleeping in her bed right now perfectly content.

 

“Sick? Sick how?” Lena asks carefully.

 

Agent Danvers looks her up and down, obviously trying to decide how much to tell a Luthor.

 

“I’m sure you remember last year when Supergirl was exposed to a substance that caused her to…”

 “Go on a scary power-tripping rampage through the city streets?” Detective Sawyer concludes. Lena’s eyes go wide. Because of course she remembers.

 

She was still living in Metropolis at the time, but she saw the new reports. Supergirl dressed in black, eyes glowing with fire, looking down at the world like she could have crushed it under her heel.

 

“We call it red kryptonite. It affects Supergirl’s brain chemistry. Makes her...it makes her dangerous.”

 

All day yesterday something had been nagging in the back of Lena’s mind. Something about the way Supergirl spoke on the phone. The way she complained about her work. The way she kissed Lena in bed. Those thieves from the news footage. Even the way she acted last night.

 

 _Oh God._ Lena feels sick.

 

“How um...how can you be sure that’s what it is?” Lena asks, a million thoughts running through her head.

 “I know her, Ms. Luthor. She hasn't been herself.” The pain in Agent Danvers’ voice is heartbreaking.

 

Lena was torn. If she told them the truth and let them in, that would mean exposing their relationship. If Kara wanted her sister to know she would have told her.

  _She’s obviously ashamed._ Lena concludes.

 

But if she let’s them leave, what would she find back in her bedroom? Would it be her goofy best friend, her fierce lover, or someone else entirely? Surely, Lena could convince her to call her sister when she wakes up. She was still Kara after all. And even if what Agent Danvers said was true under the influence of this...red K she had still come to Lena, that had to count for something.

 

Agent Danvers was shaking her head, growing impatient. She hands Lena a business card.

 

“Look if you hear from Kara, please call me. And…” she hesitates “If you happen to see Supergirl...be careful. I’m not sure how she’d react to...well to you.”

 Lena knows what she means.

 

_How she’d react to a Luthor._

 

Lena takes the card.

“I’ll be careful.” Is all Lena says. Agent Danvers nods, and walks back down the hall. Detective Sawyer eyes Lena for a moment longer, and Lena grows more self-conscious of the marks Kara left.

 

“Sorry to disturb you. Ms. Luthor. Have a good day.”

 

Lena closes and locks the door. She turns and rests against it, as if barring the real world out. She stares down at the card with Agent Danvers' number on it. She doesn’t know what to do.

 

The day before the possibility of waking up to Kara Danvers had been unthinkable. Now the thought of walking into her bedroom and finding anything or anyone other than the Kara Danvers she knew was impossible.

 

Lena folds the card up and tucks it in the the breast pocket of her robe, just in case.

 

 _Everything’s going to be fine._ She tells herself.

 

Lena peaks into her bedroom with all the caution of a child checking under the bed for monsters. And there Kara sits. Awake and beautiful and terrifying, but only in the best sort of way. Because she’s in Lena’s bed. She’s wearing Lena’s sweatshirt. And for a moment, Lena actually believes everything is okay. That Agent Danvers was wrong. That Kara is Kara and she’s healthy and she wants Lena, and all is well. Then she notices the envelope in Kara’s hands.

It’s the one Lex’s henchmen had delivered, The one with the photos of her and Kara (her and Supergirl). The one Lena distinctly remembers locking in the safe in her home office down the hall.

 

“Kara?” Lena’s voice trembles. She’s not sure if it’s fear or sadness or the strangeness of calling Supergirl by Kara’s name, but it trembles nonetheless.

 

Kara is staring down at the envelope, studying it carefully, turning it over in her hands.

“I’ve wanted for so long to hear you call me that.” Kara says quietly, without looking up. “Here, like this.”

 

Lena steps further into the room, slowly, like she’s approaching a wild animal. But Kara is calm. She ‘s sitting on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked under her, her hair hanging loose and disheveled around her face.

 

“Kara...that was your sister at the door-”

“I know.” Kara says simply, sighing and shaking her head.

 

Lena moves closer, sitting on the bed beside the blonde.

“She’s worried about you. Says something happened.”

 

Kara nods. “It was this, you know.” She runs her hand over the envelope. Lena glances from Kara’s unreadable expression to the envelope and back again. It takes her a moment longer than it should for her to understand.

 

_Lex did this._

 

Kara answers her thought as if she’d said it out loud.

“Yes, he’s clever. Kal had told me, he was, but...I never realized.” Kara is saying. Lena feels anger rise up in her chest like bile. She clutches her robe as her hands turn to fists.

 

Lex poisoned Supergirl. He poisoned Kara. and he’d used her to do it.

 

_How could I be so foolish?_

 

“He knew I’d show you the pictures.” Lena says through gritted teeth. “He threatened me, because he knew I’d tell you. Knew I’d try to protect you.”

 

Kara sees Lena’s distress, she sets aside the envelope and takes Lena hands, her thumb making soothing circles on Lena’s skin.

 

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m alright.” Kara tells her, meeting her eyes for the first time this morning. And Lena can so clearly see now that it’s Kara. How had she fooled herself into thinking otherwise? And this _is_ Kara. She doesn’t look dangerous, like Alex had said. She looked fine. Sincere. Concerned.

 

 _What does red kryptonite do exactly?_   Lena wonders, her concern for Kara pushing aside her anger and guilt for the time being.

 

“You’re not though.” She cups Kara’s cheek, and the blonde closes her eyes leaning into the touch. “Are you?” Lena asks.

 

Kara’s eyes are bright and a smile plays on her lips.

 

“Lena, Lex made a mistake. He thinks...what Alex thinks. Red Kryptonite doesn’t...make me evil, Lena. It just-It just…” Kara stares off into space for a moment, looking for the right words. Lena strokes her cheek, needing to know the answer.

“It just what, Darling?”

 

“It just let’s me be free.” Kara finally breathes out, the statement a burden lifting from her. Lena’s brow knits in confusion.

 

“Free? Free of what?” Kara squeezes her hands and scoots closer to Lena, excited suddenly.

 “Free of all the bullshit. Free of...all my apprehension, all my uncertainty. There’s so much I hold back, everyday. So much I don’t do or don’t say. And this stuff let’s me.”

 Kara leans forward touching her forehead to Lena’s, their noses brush together and their lips almost touch.

“Like last night.” Kara whispers. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, Lena. All along really. I trusted you. But I was scared. I was a coward. I didn’t know if you’d want...all of me. If you’d want the truth. I didn’t want to endanger you or scare you or lose you. So I said nothing.”

 

“Until last night.” Lena says quietly. She can remember the sound of Supergirl’s voice asking Lena to say her name. There had been a sort of desperation, a bit of fear, but ultimately relief.

 

“I just wanted you to know me.”

 Lena is overwhelmed by the honesty of the confession, by the rawness in Kara’s voice. Because that’s all Lena wants too. To know Kara. For Kara to know her. But that’s also her biggest fear. To think, that Kara has shared the same turmoil nearly makes Lena sob with relief.

 

Kara was saying everything Lena wanted to hear. But Agent Danvers’ card is burning a hole in her pocket. And Lex’s poisoned envelope sits beside them on the bed. And Kara is here and she's being honest and her eyes are so wonderfully blue...until they aren't for a second. Until Lena looks too closely for too long and sees a flash of red. Her heart speeds up, threatening to beat open her chest. Kara notices immediately, of course.

 

“Lena, I’m telling you this doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” Her words are meant to be soothing, but there’s something frustrated about her tone. A touch of impatience. Lena tries to slow her breathing and bring her pulse back under control.

 

_This is wrong._

 

“Darling, last night was…” Lena remembers every moment of it. Every word, every look, every bruising touch. “It was incredible.” She admits.

 

 _But it wasn’t really you._ She doesn’t say.

 

“But what about yesterday, with those criminals? You could have really hurt them. I saw the footage, it was- you were...Kara, you just didn’t seem in control.”

 

Kara rolls her eyes, pulling back slightly.

 

“I don’t care about them.” She says plainly. Lena can’t slow her heartbeat.

 

“And what about this?” Lena pulls her robe open a bit, revealing the collection of bruises on her neck and chest. Kara grins almost proudly. “We talked about this, Kara. No marking me.”

 

“Oh, come on, you never seem to mind until the next day. You’re just worried someone will see them.” Kara isn’t taking her seriously.

 

“But I asked you not to and you did anyway! Don’t you understand why that’s a problem?” Lena has to make her understand. Has to make her see that whatever Lex did isn’t good for her. It can't possibly be okay.

Kara smiles wickedly, leaning in to kiss Lena’s neck.

 “I don’t see a problem with everyone knowing what we are.” She kisses Lena’s ear and whispers “I want everyone to know you’re _mine_.” Her words and the heat of Kara’s mouth on her skin make Lena shudder. She loses her concentration, her conviction. She’s not sure if she’s about to continue scolding Kara or melt into a puddle beneath her.

 

Before Lena can figure it out, Kara pulls back, suddenly distracted. She tilts her head to the side, listening.The movement reminds Lena of a dog.

 “Something’s...not right.” Kara says slowly.

 

Lena doesn’t hear the gunshot, but she hears and sees one of the floor-to-ceiling windows crack and splinter. For a moment, it’s like time is frozen and she can clearly make out the small bullet hole in the glass. Then Kara is tackling her, rolling them both onto the floor on the other side of the bed as more shots are fired, one after the other, finally crumbling the window.

 Kara is on top of her, shielding her from the gunfire, and Lena can feel hot slick blood pouring out of a wound in the blonde’s shoulder.

 

 _Bulletproof. She’s suppose to be bulletproof! Dammit!_  

 

Lena reaches up and pulls the sheets from the bed and presses it to Kara’s shoulder. Kara cries out and growls in frustration. The shots stop.

 “Are you okay?” they both ask simultaneously.


	16. It Stings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena deal with the sniper, and Kara's behavior escalates as the Red K takes it's toll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather long action packed chapter  
> I hope it doesn't feel rushed, it's hard for me to write action scenes

“You’re bleeding.” Lena states the obvious, pressing her bedsheets to the wound in Kara’s shoulder. Kara grits her teeth, obviously unaccustomed to physical pain.

“Kryptonite in the bullet.” Kara growls rolling off of her. That’s when Lena notices Kara’s hand is bleeding as well.

“How many times were you hit?” She asks, studying the hole in her lover’s hand. Kara shakes her head, clutching her injured hand to her chest.

“Just once. I tried to catch it.” She peels the sheet away from her shoulder with her good hand, and hisses in pain. “It went straight through me.”

 

Kara Danvers, her Supergirl was crouched on the floor bleeding, sweating, looking entirely too human.

 

“What can I do?” Lena’s heart is racing, pounding in her ears. You’d think she’d be use to the rush of adrenaline by now. But no, each life-threatening situation came with it’s own fresh wave of hell, setting her body alight.

 

_Who’s shooting at us? Are you gonna die? Don’t die. Fuck, please don’t die. Can’t we get a fucking break?!_

 

“Nothing.” Kara says shaking her head. Her pained expression has swiftly melted into anger, her eyebrows drawn together in an unfamiliar way.  “I’m already healing.”

 

Lena turns on her side, reaching forward to look at the wound, but Kara is already moving. She removes the sheet from her shoulder and crouches on the balls of her bare feet.

 

“Where are you going?” Lena already knows the answer, but the thought of Kara rushing into an onslaught of kryptonite bullets, turns her brain to mush.

 

_You can’t let her go. She’ll die._

 

“Stay here.” Kara snarls, disappearing at super speed.

 

 _You can’t stop her. She’ll kill the sniper._ Lena realizes.

 

Lena peeks over the edge of the bed in time to see a window in the top floor of the building next door shatter. She hears several gunshots follow Kara’s arrival. She turns back around and crouches out of sight. From the floor, she reaches up snatching her phone from the nightstand, she pulls Agent Danvers’ card from the pocket of her robe. With shaking hands she dials the number. It takes her two tries to get it right, because Kara’s blood on her hands keeps fucking up the touch screen.

“Agent Danvers.”

“She’s here!” Lena tells her. “Supergirl is here.”

 

 _Kara’s here with me._ Lena thinks.

 

“Lena?” Alex asks, sounding frantic.

“Yes!” Lena hisses, frustrated and scared and angry all at once. She takes a deep breath, and tries to calm the adrenaline in her veins. “Supergirl is at my penthouse. We’re under attack!”

“I’m on my way! She’s attacking you?” Alex asks. Lena shakes her head so hard her brain rattles.

“No! We’re being shot at!”

“I’m on my way.” Alex repeats, but Lena doesn’t hear what she says next.

 

A solid _thud_ sounds behind her, startling Lena. She drops the phone and whirls around. A man lays on her bedroom floor, curled in on himself, clearly in pain. Kara hovers just outside the broken wall of windows staring down at him with a fury Lena’s never seen.

 

Kara lands, unphased by the broken glass littering the room. She stalks over to the man she tossed in. She grabs him up by the back of his neck and jerks him off the floor. The man cries out in pain, futility clawing at Kara’s arm. Kara speeds across the room and slams him into the wall so hard the plaster caves in. She holds him off the floor with her uninjured hand, her lips drawn back in a snarl.

 

“Who sent you?” Kara barks, then more quietly “Her brother or her mother?”

 

The man lifts his eyes to Kara, and Lena finally gets a look at his face. He’s bleeding from several cuts on his forehead, probably from the glass on the floor. There is a large gash above his left eye and his lip is busted and bruised. His breathing is labored and wheezy like maybe he’s broken a rib. But Lena recognizes him instantly as the man from the graveyard. The one who delivered Lex’s toxic message. Turns out he was a sniper after all.

 

Lena stands slowly from her hiding place beside the bed.

 

“I know him. He works for Lex.” She tells Kara angrily. Kara doesn’t glance at her.

“Is that right?” Kara asks him “Did Lex send you here to kill me?”

 

The man glances between them, smiling cruelly. His teeth are coated in blood.

 

“Who sent you?” Kara shouts. She must tighten her grip on the man’s shoulder, because Lena can see the moment his clavicle and scapula are crushed under Kara’s fingers. He screams. He screams so loud it hurts her ears, raises chills on her skin. Lena’s never heard anything like it.

Kara just stares at him. Like this sound is the most natural thing in the world. Like she’s not the one that drew it from him. Like she’s not torturing a man.

 

“Lex!” The man screams, panting and angry. “I’ve never dealt with Lillian. Never met her. I work for Lex.”

 

Kara nods, seemingly satisfied with his confession.

 

“Of course. And Lex has been playing with Max Lord’s synthetic kryptonite formulas? First red, now green.” Kara pulls the sweatshirt down off her shoulder, revealing the bullet wound.

 

“He’s making strides.” Kara tells him poking at the wound experimentally with her free hand. “It stings.” she says calmly.

 

Kara looks fierce standing there. The sun is rising above the city behind her, turning the skyline red. Her hair is a golden tousled mess blowing in the breeze from the broken windows. She’s pantsless and barefoot, wearing only Lena’s favorite over-sized sweatshirt, which is torn and soaked with blood. Her expression vengeful and quivering with wrath. She is beautiful and frightening. Every bit the menacing goddess Lena’s brother always warned her about.

 

“Supergirl…” Lena says carefully, stepping towards the fuming Kryptonian. “Put him down.”

 

Kara doesn’t look at her, she moves her hand from the man’s shoulder to his throat. His one good hand comes up to claw at her fingers, but her grip is steel.

 

“Supergirl, stop!” Lena pleads, but what’s the use? Lena can see the red veins webbing out from Kara’s eyes.

 

_She’s not in control._

 

“Why should I?” Kara asks quietly, her eyes fixed on the man’s face as he struggles in her grasp. “He _shot_ me. He could have hurt _you_.” She visibly tightens her hold, his face is turning purple.

“We’re safe now!” Lena offers, desperate to reach out and stop this. “You stopped him. He can’t hurt us anymore. Please, Supergirl, this isn’t you. He’s not worth it!”

 

Kara drops him abruptly. The man crumbles to the floor at her feet gasping for breath, choking and coughing. Lena didn’t realize she’s also been holding her breath. Kara’s face morphs from cold fury into something more controlled, calculating.

 

“You’re right.” She says slowly. “He’s not the problem.”

 

Lena steps closer to Kara, hand outstretched, both relieved and confused.

“Supergirl?” she calls to her, but Kara’s not paying attention to her. “Kara…” She whispers “Just stay here with me.”

 

Kara spins around cupping Lena’s face in her hands. She kisses Lena. It’s firm but sweet, and Kara holds her so carefully. Lena thinks everything will be alright. She hears Agent Danvers and Detective Sawyer busting down her front door. Sirens blare in the street far below. Kara seems unconcerned. She looks in Lena’s eyes, and smiles sadly.

 

“I’m gonna end it, Lena.” Lena’s brow furrows and she searches Kara’s face trying to understand.

“What? Darling, it's over. Just stay with me.”

“I’m gonna make us safe again.” Kara whispers, and then she’s gone. One moment she’s standing in Lena’s arms, the next she is wind. Lena is left hugging air.

 

Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer charge into the bedroom, taking in the scene with wide eyes and guns raised.

 

“Lena?” Alex says her name, but Lena is too busy searching the sky.

 

The broken hitman on the floor groans. Detective Sawyer kneels beside him. Alex comes to stand in from of Lena, where Kara was just seconds before.

 

“Lena? Lena, where’s Supergirl? What happened?”

 

Lena shakes her head.

 

“She’s gone.”

\---------------

 

It takes Lena too long to explain what happened. It’s too hard to explain why Supergirl was there, so she doesn’t. She tries to just give Alex the important information, which seems just fine with Alex. Kara’s sister is a hurricane. She is focused and furious and unstoppable. Lena can see that from the way the police officers and agents move out of her way, scrambling like rats from a flood.

 

“Where would she go?” Maggie stands with her arms crossed, studying the wall of broken windows.

 

Lena’s bedroom is a disaster. One whole wall is just open air, a sixty story fall to the street below. Broken glass litters the floor, the bed and wall are riddled with bullet holes, a bloody sheet lays haphazardly on the floor, and Supergirl’s discarded suit is at the foot of the bed. No one’s noticed it yet. Or at least no one’s asked about it yet.

“I don’t know! She’s not herself.” Alex is saying pacing back and forth.

 

“She’s going to kill him.” Lena says, plainly. She’s staring at the part of the wall where the plaster has caves in, where Supergirl almost killed her assassin in cold blood. She tried to squeeze the life out of him.

 

Alex and Maggie turn to look at her as if they had forgotten she was there. They share a look, before stepping closer to Lena in unison. Maggie’s voice is soft when she asks

 

“Kill who? We got the guy. He’s on his way to the hospital.” She speaks to Lena like she might break. Like Lena’s traumatized.

 

_Maybe I am traumatized._

Lena shakes her head, eyes still fixed on the wall.

 

“Not him. She said _he’s_ not worth it.” Lena tells them. Alex sighs, clearly frustrated with Lena.

 

“Who then? Who is Supergirl going after?”

 

Lena feels tears begin to sting her eyes, she blinks rapidly to avoid shedding them.

 

“She’s going to kill Lex. He sent the shooter. He poisoned her. She’s going to…” Lena drags her eyes from the wall to finally meet Alex’s eyes. The other Danvers sister is so worried. It’s written all over her face.

 

 _She must be exhausted._ Lena thinks. _I’m exhausted._

 

Lena looks down guiltily at her hands, still red with Kara’s blood.

 

“She said, she was gonna make us safe again.”

 

Alex’s brow knots in confusion, but she let’s it go.

 

“We have to stop her.” Alex is resolved, but Maggie remains skeptical.

 

“Alex, we can’t stop her. He could be dead already.”

 

Alex is shaking her head and her voice cracks.

 

“I have to try. Maggie, if she hurts...if she kills him. She’ll never be the same.” Maggie’s face softens, and she nods.

 

“I’m going with you.” Lena steps forward, her voice fierce.

 

“What? No way!” Maggie says. Alex eyes Lena carefully, looking her up and down. Lena can’t imagine what she must look like. Her hair is probably a mess from the sex the night before, not to mention the sleeping and gunfire, the steady breeze coming through her broken room. She’s wearing nothing but her robe, which is now covered in dry blood.

 

“Why?” Alex asks her, quietly. Lena holds her gaze. “What was she doing here?”

 

Lena straightens her spine and lifts her chin, no longer afraid of the truth, but still unwilling to face it here in this moment.

 

“This is all my fault, Agent Danvers. This is happening to her because of me. Let me help her.”

 

Alex glances at Maggie.

 

“Ride or die.” Maggie says with a shrug.

 

\--------------

 

It’s hard to say whether Alex Danvers is a good driver or not. The fact that she can speed a large SUV down the highway at upwards of 80 mph, zig-zagging around civilian vehicles, while talking on the phone and wrestling on a bulletproof vest would suggest some level of coordination and skill. Very impressive. However it is also true that Lena has to hold on to the various handles in the backseat with both hands to avoid being tossed around by the Agent’s frantic driving.

 

Maggie, seemingly unaffected, tosses Lena a bulletproof vest. Lena stares at it like she has no idea what it is.

 

“I don’t need this.” Lena leans into the curve as Alex’s drives onto the median to swerve around a mini-van. The bump as Alex rams over the curb and back onto the road brings Lena completely out of her seat for a moment.

 

“Babe, slow down.” Maggie scolds her. Alex pays her no mind. In fact, Lena is certain she feels the car speed up a bit. Maggie turns back to Lena.

 

“You can’t go in without this, Ms. Luthor. It doesn’t do much against her heat vision, but it’s better than nothing. Trust me.”

 

Lena glances down at the vest again. It does look quite flimsy after what Lena saw this morning. Kara in all her glory; furious and stunning. But the way Kara had touched her, kissed her so tenderly before leaving. Lena didn’t want to admit it.

 

_It felt like goodbye._

 

“She won’t hurt me, Detective.” Lena has never been so sure of anything.

 

Alex glances at her in the rearview mirror, her eyes hard. Maggie shakes her head.

 

“You don’t understand what she’s capable of.”

 

“Last time, this happened she broke my arm.” Alex growls, braking to avoid rear-ending a semi-truck. “And I’m as close to her as anyone.”

 

“The RedK changes her. Makes her something she’s not.” Maggie is saying.

 

 _You’re right, Detective. It makes her free. Maybe too free._ Lena thinks.

 

“I’ve been with her for days with this stuff in her system. She won’t hurt me.” Lena repeats.

 

Alex and Maggie share a look, uncomfortable.

 

“Put on the vest, or I’ll cuff you to the car.” Alex tells her, racing up the exit to the Stryker’s Island Ferry.

 

Maggie’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but she doesn’t protest, eyeing Lena for a reaction.

 

Lena rolls her eyes.

 

“Well, if you insist.” She shrugs on the vest, which is much heavier than she expected. Its rigid against her chest. Maggie helps her strap it on.

 

Alex doesn’t slow the car until they’re right up on the guard gate. She slams on the brakes, but the car keeps moving for several feet, leaving marks on the pavement.

 

“Have you ever been here?” Alex asks her as they exit the vehicle.

 

Lena shakes her head. Her eyes drawn to the looming island out in the bay.

 

_Lex is in there. Kara is going to kill him._

 

Suddenly the vest feels too heavy, pulling at Lena’s shoulders, dragging her down, making her small.

 

_She won’t hurt me._

 

“No.” Lena tells Alex, firmly. “There’s been nothing for me here.”

 

\------------

 

Alex and Maggie’s credentials get them on the ferry and through the front door. At least it’s partly the badges, but Lena suspects it mostly has to do with the steely look on Alex’s face. Turns out both the Danvers sisters are storms in their own way.

 

However, when they turn the corner to the entrance to CellBlock X, they are met with heavy resistance in the form of the Warden and five guards.

 

“Stop! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The Warden shouts, meeting them halfway down the hall, blocking their path.  Alex immediately flashes her fake FBI badge.

 

“Special Agent Alex Danvers. Step aside, Sir.”  The Warden looks unimpressed.

 

“You can’t just barge in here! This is a maximum security facility. There are protocols in place. Even the Feds have to go through procedure.” He saying.

 

Alex is losing her patience.

 

“These are special circumstances, Warden-”

 

“Yeah,” he interrupts her “Everything’s always special with you Feds.”

 

“We believe _Lex Luthor’s_ life is in _danger_.” Maggie butts in. The Warden scoffs, grinning at a few of the guards behind him.

 

“No shit, Sweetheart. Luthor’s life is always in danger. Why do you think he stays in isolation?”

 

“You don’t understand. You can’t protect him from this.” Alex says gritting her teeth.

 

“Why did you bring her here?” The Warden asks, noticing Lena for the first time. “No way, I’m letting her into see him. There’s no telling what she’s got up her sleeves.”

 

Alex lunges forward and grips the Warden by the front of his shirt, slinging him into the wall. The guards draw their batons, which look pretty pathetic as Maggie pulls her gun on them.

 

“Enough of this.” Alex growls, low and dangerous. “If you don’t get out of my way…”

 

A loud crash sounds from down the hall towards the cells, shaking the building slightly. The lights overhead flicker several times. They can hear the CellBlock X inmates start to scream. Or are they cheering?

_Kara…_

 

“What the hell was that?” The Warden asks, suddenly more frightened of the disturbance than of Alex.

 

_That was her sister._

 

“That was your cue to leave.” Alex tells him. The Warden glances, down the hall as the inmates’ shouts grow louder, then back to Alex. He nods.

 

“What do you need from me?” He asks. The guards step aside, Alex and Maggie start down the hallway, Lena follows after.

 

“Get medical on standby.” Alex calls back to him “Let my squad in once they get here. And lockdown the other prisoners. She’s here for Lex.”

 

\---------------

 

Alex and Maggie hold strange looking pistols. They looks like something out of a Sci-Fi movie, alien and glowing. But Lena has nothing but her wits as Alex scans a security card and opens Lex’s cell.

 

Lena’s not sure what she was expecting. Maybe she thought her brother would be living a life of luxury here, with a bookshelf and a chess set and a record player in the corner. But no. His cell is rather large, but also padded. There is a large hole in the ceiling; Kara’s entrance. Large chunks of concrete litter the floor from the broken building ceiling. A fluorescent light dangles and flickers eerily. A single thin twin bed has been ripped from the floor where it was previously bolted down. Books, once stacked beside the bed, have been knocked over. There is a chess set. A tiny plastic little thing. Now the board lies cracked on the floor, the pieces scattered across the room. One of them crushed to dust. A single toilet and sink are nestled in the corner, but these too have been yanked up. Water sprays from the holes in the floor.

 

And there on the far side of the room is her brother. He looks even crazier than the last time she saw him, raving mad in court. He’s lost a lot of weight. Lex was always thin, but usually kept a strict exercise regimen to stay toned. His body was a temple. Not now. Now he seems frail. His eyes wide and bloodshot, bruised from lack of sleep. His head bald and gleaming with sweat. His nose is bleeding, and there’s a large cut in his top lip. Kara’s hand is wrapped around his throat. His eyes spot Lena over Kara’s shoulder, and he manages to smile.

 

 _What’s become of you?_ Lena’s not sure who she means.

 

Kara wears the same sleek black uniform from the first time she was infected by RedK. Lena recognizes it from the news footage. Her blonde curls tumble down her back. She has her back to Lena.

 

“Supergirl, stop! Stop this!” Alex shouts, raising her pistol and pointing it straight at Kara’s back. Maggie does the same, but they don't fire.

 

 _Will those guns cure her?_ Lena wonders _Will they kill her?_

 

Something tells Lena that under no circumstances would Alex Danvers kill her sister to save Lex’s life. Lena finds this thought comforting.

 

“Get out of here, Alex. I have to do this.” Lena can’t see Kara’s face, but she imagines it mirrors her voice, calm and steady. None of the rage from this morning.

 

“No, Supergirl, you don’t. You don’t have to do anything.” Maggie says.

 

Kara doesn’t move. Doesn’t respond. She could snap his neck before Alex and Maggie even think to pull the trigger.

 

Lena steps forward, around Alex and Maggie and into Supergirl’s line of sight. Kara’s face is as she thought, clear of fury. She looks calm, she looks sure.

 

_So why is she hesitating?_

 

They make eye contact, and Lena can see the RedK swimming in the blue of her eyes. It breaks her heart. She wants to call Kara by her name, but Lex is right there…

 

“Supergirl…” Lena says gently, not looking at her brother. But she can feel his wild eyes on her. “Supergirl, please don’t do this. I don’t need you to do this.”

 

Kara’s expression doesn’t change. But Lex’s eyebrows arch.

 

“Hello, sister.” Lex chokes out, pulling uselessly at Supergirl’s fingers. “Nice of you to finally visit. But as you can see, I’m in the middle of a meeting.” He’s still smiling, even as Supergirl squeezes him into silence. Lena ignores him.

 

 _You’re not here for him._ She reminds herself.

 

“Supergirl, look at me.” Lena can see she’s reluctant, her gaze darting from Lex to Lena and back again. “Look at me.” Lena commands, and Kara does. Turns her head just slightly.

 

“I can’t let him hurt you anymore.” Kara says quietly, not like a secret, but like a prayer.

Lena shakes her head, fighting the urge to cry.

 

_You cannot cry in front of him._

 

“You’re hurting me right now, Supergirl. If you do this we’ll be hurting forever.”

 

Kara looks unsure. She focuses her eyes on Lex again. She loosens her grip, but just barely.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Kara asks him.

 

Lex laughs, a maniacal chuckle.

 

“I sent the red kryptonite so she’d finally see the truth. I knew you’d show her.”

 

“What truth?” Lena asks, speaking to him for the first time. Her voice is tight and seething.

 

“This.” Lex says, yanking at Kara’s hand. “What’s happening right now! The truth about her and her kind. Her true colors!” he shouts. Kara’s eyes narrow.

 

“You poisoned her!” Lena spits at him. Lex shakes his head, looking Kara up and down like she’s a winning race horse.

 

“No, Lena. No, I set her free. And you too. Now you know what she’s really capable of-” Kara tightens her fingers cutting him off.

 

“Supergirl, don’t you see! This is what he wanted! You’re just proving him right.” Lena pleads with her. She wants to reach out and touch her, soothe the crinkle in her brow, kiss the frown from her lips. But there are so many eyes on them and everything is wrong.

 

“Maybe he is right.” Kara says, sadly. “Maybe I am a monster.”

 

“You don’t kill!” Alex shouts from behind them, desperate and pleading. Kara’s eyes dart in her direction as if she forgot she was there, but her head doesn’t move.

 

Alex moves a bit closer behind Lena, so she can see Kara’s face.

 

“That’s your rule, Supergirl. _You don’t kill._ Not because of some high moral ground or because you don’t have the guts. You hold back because you _want_ to. Because you’re not a monster. Not a killer. You draw that line in the sand, because sometimes that’s the only thing that separates you from the them. From _him._ ”

 

Kara seems to hear this, her face softens. She looks back to Lena then, still torn.

 

“I just want you to be safe.” Her eyes dart back to Alex. “All of you. I want us to be safe.”

 

Lena does reach out for her then, nodding. She gently strokes Kara’s cheek.

 

“We’re gonna protect each other. But this isn’t the way.”

 

Kara melts into her touch, closing her eyes briefly and sighing.

 

“Come back to me.” Lena whispers.

 

Kara releases Lex and takes a step back. Lex falls to the floor, coughing harshly. Maggie doesn’t hesitate to shoot Kara with the strange weapon. Lena is sure now it’s a cure. Kara shudders where she stands for a moment, like she’s being electrocuted. Then Lena watches the RedK dispel from her body. Kara crumbles unconscious to the floor beside the still heaving Lex.

 

Alex and Lena both rush forward to kneel beside her. They check her pulse and find it beating strong and steady. Kara looks so peaceful now, sleeping rather than living a nightmare.

 

“She’ll be alright.” Alex says, breathlessly. It’s unclear who Alex is trying to reassure, Lena or herself. Maggie comes over to place a comforting hand on Alex’s shoulder.

 

Lex is slowly standing, still coughing and wheezing, he rubs his hand over his throat. He leans against the wall weakly.

 

Lena stands up and stalks over to him. He tries to smile when he sees her coming.

 

“Thanks, Lee.” He says.

 

Lena punches him in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think, this is the next to last chapter, guys  
> It's been a wild ride!  
> Even with one chapter to go, could you guys do me a favor? I'd love to hear what your favorite chapter was from this fic! Or even just your favorite scene/line/moment. This fic turned out way longer than anticipated and it evolved alot for me along the way. So please share your thoughts with me, I love it. If you want to wait til I post the last chapter to decide that's fine, just be thinking on it


	17. When Worlds Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the RedK, Kara and Lena move forward with no more secrets between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one and it's really long, so settle in
> 
> I just want to say thank you all for reading this fic, for your kudos and your comments.  
> I have immensely enjoyed writing this story, and I'm not sure I could have kept it up without your encouragement 
> 
> I hope this ending does it justice
> 
> Enjoy :)

 

 Lena didn’t leave Kara’s side as she slept, despite Alex’s protests. She was there when Kara woke up. Green eyes meeting blue. Lena threw her arms around Kara and hugs her so tightly it would have hurt a human. They don’t say anything, not then. It was all too much for both of them. They quietly shed tears together, holding each other closely. The same question echoing in both their minds.

 

_Where do we go from here?_

 

Lena is forced to tell the DEO about the threats she had received from Lex. Subsequently, an investigation is launched at Stryker’s and Lex’s law firm to determine exactly who was taking bribes from him. Multiple people have arrested, but the investigation is ongoing.

 Kara is forced to explain... _everything_ to Alex. And Jo’nn. And Winn. And James. And Eliza. It couldn't have been an easy story to tell. Lena knows this wasn’t the way she wanted them to learn about their relationship.

 Predictably, Alex was livid. Though it’s hard to say what made the eldest Danvers angrier, the fact that Kara was seeing someone under the guise of Supergirl (“Which is reckless and kinda weird!”), Kara telling yet another person her secret (“What’s the point if everyone knows?”), or that Kara had been involved with Lena for months and hadn’t told her about it (“I’m your sister! We’re suppose to talk about these things.”). Luckily, it didn't seem like Lena’s last name was on the list of things Alex was upset about.

 After everything Lena had done (stopping Medusa, turning in her mother, combating Cadmus) and the way she’d seen her look at Kara, it was clear to Alex that Lena didn’t stand with the rest of her family. She’d more than earn the benefit of the doubt. After all, Lena didn’t choose her name or her family, but she had chosen Kara. So Alex had to respect her good taste.

 What became known in the media as _The Stryker’s Island Incident_ was a mystery to the world at large. Footage of what appeared to be Supergirl or possibly Superman flying down and crashing into the prison had been captured and released with the evening news. But the DEO and what little local law enforcement was involved managed to keep the truth under wraps. The public didn’t know what happened inside the prison. And hopefully they never would. Other than that Kara had kept her RedK antics to a minimum this time around. Too preoccupied with Lena to do any real damage to her public image. Her relationship with Lena, however, that’s an entirely different story.

 ---------------------

 Lena hasn’t seen Kara (or Supergirl for that matter) in a week It was obvious to Lena that Kara was still traumatized by the ordeal.

  _How could she not be?_

 Lena herself had been having nightmares. Terrible vivid dreams of Supergirl, her eyes glowing red, squeezing Lex until his neck snapped. Lex would fall to the floor, seemingly dead, then just as Lena went to step forward, he’d slowly sit up. Neck still broken, his head slumped sickeningly on his shoulder.

 “Help me, Lee.” he’d beg.

 Lena would wake up in a cold sweat, her face wet with tears, her hands shaking.

 She’d also been having good dreams or maybe they were memories. Her and Supergirl sitting out on the balcony or tangled up in the sheets. They’d be in the middle of a conversation or in the middle of a kiss and suddenly Supergirl was Kara, cardigan and all. Dream Lena would laugh and go about as if nothing was different. Dreams were funny that way. You could just go with the flow of them, unconcerned with what was real and what was fantasy.

 They had both needed space. Time to process. It was surprisingly difficult to figure out what you wanted in life. Sussing out what you wanted from what you needed. Coming to terms with what you couldn’t live without.

Lena is kinda afraid to go to sleep, because she can't know if she'll be met by dreams or nightmares. She's on the couch in her pajamas working on her laptop. Her eyes begin to hurt from reading in the dark room, so she turns on a lamp. A few moments later, she gets a text from Kara.

 

**Kara: You’re awake**

It isn’t a question.

Lena smiles, for what feels like the first time all week, and resists the urge to look out on the balcony. Her first instinct is to respond with a joke. Something about Kara stalking her. But she resists that as well. They feel too fragile right now. Too unsure. She wants the first thing she says to be real. To be something true.

  **Lena: I miss you**

  **Kara: :) Can I come up?**

 Lena bite her lip, and her heart starts beating faster.

  _Could Kara hear it from outside? Of course, she can, She always can._

  **Lena: Please do**

 Not two seconds later, she hears the soft _tap tap_ on the window. Supergirl’s knock.

  _Kara’s knock._ She corrects herself.

 Lena gets up and pulls back the curtains. She rarely leaves them open these days.

 She had an appraisal done for the cost of tinting all the windows in the apartment. They were scheduled to do it on Monday.

  _No more peep shows, Mother._

 And there's Kara. A soft shy smile on her lips, hair loose over her shoulders, arms hugging herself closely. She's dressed as Supergirl, but Lena realizes she will always see Kara now. She's ashamed she hadn’t been able to before.

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.”

 

They both smile nervously.

Lena can feel Kara’s eyes on her, looking her over as if for injuries.

 _I’m alright._ She wants to tell her. _Safe for now._

 

“Do you want to come in?” She offers instead, holding the door open a little wider. Kara eyes the inside of her apartment warily.

 

“I don’t know.” She laughs “Maybe we should stay out here. To _talk._ ” Lena scoffs at the insinuation, quirking an eyebrow. She steps out onto the balcony and pulls the door closed.

 

“I wasn’t propositioning you, Kara.” She says playfully “As much as I’ve missed you, I can control myself.”

 

Kara blushes and smirks at the same time, sweetness and sass.

 

“It's not you I'm worried about.”

 

It's Lena’s turn to blush, looking away with a smile. They both lean against the railing, side by side, but with at least a foot of space between them. Lena wasn’t sure who maintained the distance. It reminds her of the way they were before all of this, before they ever kissed.

 

“I’ve missed you too, ya know. Alot.” Kara says, looking down at her hands. “Like all the time.” She confesses.

Lena softens, studying her.

She should have looked every bit like Supergirl in that moment; her hair, her posture, her outfit. But the way she fidgets with her hands, the tilt of her head, chewing on the corner of her lip. She is completely Kara, and Lena realizes in that moment that she loves her.

 

 _I love you._ The words echoes in her mind. _I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Why is that so hard?_

 

“Do you regret telling me the truth?” 

 

Kara’s brow crinkles for a moment, like she doesn’t like the question.

 

“I...I wanted to tell you for so long. And I’m glad you know now. But…”

 

Lena holds her breath. Kara shakes her head, sad.

 

“I wish I had done it differently. I wish, I had been myself. Not…”

 

“During sex?”

 

Kara meets her eyes then, her mouth open and searching for a words that probably don’t exist.

 

“Just not like that.” She finally said, sighing.

 

Lena reaches over carefully, taking one of Kara’s hands in both of hers.

 

“It certainly wasn’t ideal. But I’m...I’m glad I know. Thank you. For trusting me.”

 

Kara strokes her thumb over Lena’s hand, staring down at their hands.

 

“I’ve always trusted you, Lena. I was...Well, I guess I was afraid.”

 

“Afraid of what?” Lena asks, gently.

 

“I didn’t want to lose my best friend. And I didn’t want to lose what you had with Supergirl. And I didn’t know if I could have both and...just be me. The _real_ me.”

 

Kara’s voice cracks and she looks away, out at the city. Lena shakes her head and reaches up to caress Kara’s face.

 

“I was scared too, darling. Terrified, actually. That’s why I kept Supergirl at a distance. That’s why I didn’t tell Kara Danvers who I was seeing.”

 

Kara’s brow crinkles again, Lena reaches up to soothe it with her thumb.

 

“What were you afraid of?”

 

Lena shrugs and gives her a small smile.

 

“Of wanting anyone as much as I want you.”

 

\-----------------

 

Two days later, they go on their first official date. A real date.

 

They get all dressed up. She picks Kara up in a limo, much to her’s glee. They have dinner at a fancy Italian place. Kara proceeds to eat four baskets of breadsticks, much to the waiter’s dismay.

 

They come to some silent agreement to keep the conversation light. Everything about their romance thus far had been so heavy and full of secrets and doubts.

_No more of that._

Their conversation flows easily between work and science to television and music. Safe first date topics.

 It is familiar and surprisingly comfortable after all they’d been through. Not much different from their usual friendly lunch dates. Except this time, they play footsie under the table the whole time.

After dinner they go to a play at the National City Theater; Tennessee Williams’ _The Glass Menagerie_. They hold hands and whispered to each other in the dark theater.

Lena walks Kara to her door and kisses her goodnight. It is a sweet chaste thing. Though they have kissed too many times to count, everything feel different now. Now that there were no secrets between them.

They agreed to take things slow. Though that doesn’t stop Lena from wanting her. Wanting her like this, as Kara, in a way Lena has never had her before. Kara feel it too. Lena can see it in her eyes, the way she follows after Lena’s lips as she pulls away, the way her mouth stays parted for a moment afterwards.

S _oon._ Lena thinks, as she turns and walks towards the elevator. Leaving a sufficiently romanced Kara in her wake.

 

\----------------

 

They both get caught up with work for several days after that.

 

Lena had been working to repurpose her Alien Detection Device as a Species Identification Device. She hopes to put it to use in hospitals and ambulances across the nation to help medical professional identify patients’ needs more rapidly based on their species. Lena was very involved in the development and design of the prototype, which she hopes to present to the board by the end of the month.

 

Kara was busy doing a story on a prominent National City law firm that opened up a pro-bono department specifically for Alien Refugee Services. Meant to help set up new arrivals with everything they’d need to start a life here, insuring aliens knew and understood their rights under the Amnesty Act, and providing defensive counsel in criminal cases. She does interviews with the lawyers, clients, and partners at the firm. It will be a five page spread in Catco’s next issue.

 

They text almost constantly, telling each other about their days and respective projects.

Finally, on friday night, Lena get a text from Kara.

  **Kara: Just finished my final draft! Still working? Can I see you?**

As a matter of fact, Lena is just packing her things, ready to call it a night. Her prototype was as good as if was gonna get, and she had the whole weekend to finish perfecting her proposal for the board.

She bites her lip, trying to hide her smile from Jess as they takes the elevator down.

**Lena: I’m leaving work now. Can I interest you in a drink?**

**Kara: I just happen to have a flask of *alien emoji* alcohol in my purse :)**

Laughing despite herself, Lena tries to ignore the amused glance she gets from Jess. They exit the elevator and say goodnight as Lena’s driver pulls the car around.

**Kara: Where should I meet you?**

Lena knocks on the driver side window, before Frank can get out to open the door for her.

“Problem, Ms. Luthor?” Frank asks, confused by the bright smile on Lena’s face.

“Not at all, Frank. You can head home. I won’t need you anymore tonight.”

He hesitates “You sure, Ms. Luthor? I don’t think you should walk alone.”

Lena shakes her head.

“I promise, I’ll be quite safe.”

 _I'm dating the most powerful woman on the planet._ She wants to tell him.

**Lena: How do you feel about piano bars?**

Lena starts down the sidewalk, enjoying the click of her heels on the cement. She watches as the three little dots bounced on her screen, indicating Kara was typing. Finally,

**Kara: I’d go anywhere with you, babe ;)**

 

\--------------

 

 _Moonbeam_  is a little piano bar, a few block from L-Corp, that Lena had discovered not long after moving to National City. It;s a small place tucked into the corner of a street. Only twelve barstools and five booths. Dimly lit and sparse of customers, Lena had found it to the perfect place to unwind after a long day at work. A brand new grand piano sits on a small square stage at the back of the room. It had recently been donated to the bar _anonymously._ Appraised at $88,000.

 

Kara is waiting just outside when Lena arrives. She wears a dark blue blouse and black skirt, her hair pulled up in a curly ponytail, a signature Kara Danvers smile on her face. The only way Lena knew she’d flown here by looking at her were the flyaway strands of hair that had escape around her face and the wrinkles in her blouse.

 

They kiss outside the door, both smiling into it and lingering, before Lena leads them inside.

 

Lena orders red wine, while Kara just asks for an empty wine glass. The blonde actually does pull a flask out of her purse, and proceeds to pour what looks like neon purple wine into it. Lena quirks her eyebrow as she watches this.

 

“I thought you didn’t drink.” she comments, recalling Supergirl telling her that on more than one occasion. Kara shrugs, holding the glass carefully, like she was trying not to break it.

 

“I don’t really. Most of the time. But this was a gift from an alien I helped a few days ago, so…”

 

“What is it exactly?” Lena asks, taking a sip of her own wine, while eyeing the strange color of Kara’s drink. Kara takes a considerable gulp before answering.

 

“It’s called Jakcaelian Wine.” She tells Lena. “It’s from the planet Jakcael. They have a fruit there that’s...well it’s very similar to a grape, but bigger. The planet is famous for it.”

 

“Amazing, a whole universe of food and drink out there, I can’t even imagine. And here I thought myself rather well versed in wine.”

 

Kara chuckles taking another sip of her Jakcaelian Wine.

 

“I actually went to Jakcael once, with my parents. We stayed on a vineyard.”

 

Lena’s eyes go wide and she leans closer with interest. She had loved when Supergirl would tell her stories like this. It never ceased to awe her that this woman was so much more than human. She’d been flung from the stars.

 

Lena’s fascinated gaze is enough to spur Kara on. Her voice grows quiet, like this was a secret, though they were alone except for the bartender who stood several feet away.

 

“I was only 8 or 9 at the time. We went for my father’s work, but I don’t really know what business he had there. Maybe something to do with trade.”  Kara’s eyes stay focused on the wine glass in her hand as she speaks, as if she’s been hypnotized. Lena listens quietly, taking sips from her own glass.

 

“The vineyards there were much different than the ones we have here on Earth. They were more like organized forests. The fruit trees tall as oaks, their branches stretching out to touch one another. The fruit would glow purple at night, in the light of Jakcael’s moon. And the moon was so close, it would take up half the sky.”

 

“It sounds beautiful.” Lena whispers, resting her hand on Kara’s knee. Kara’s hand covers her instinctively. The blonde’s thumb draws soothing circles over Lena’s skin.

 

“It was. It really was. I could look out over the trees from our room. I remember, I didn’t want to go to bed for looking at the view. Father had to scoop me up and carry me from the window.”

 

Kara shakes herself, coming back from the memory of this place where the moon filled half the sky. She takes another swallow from her glass, savoring it.

 

“I couldn’t have imagined I’d be here now, all these years later, drinking the stuff.” She tries to laugh, lighten the mood. It’s not quite genuine. Lena sees that now familiar longing in Kara’s eyes when she thinks of the life she lost.

 

Lena squeezes her knee, and offers her a sympathetic smile. As much as Lena loves her stories, she wonders what they cost Kara.

 

_Would it be better for her not to think about it?_

 

Kara’s eyes focus on something behind Lena. The pianist has come back from his break and sits down at the instrument. He begins to play. Kara’s face lights up and all Lena wants is to keep her smiling.

 

“Would you like to dance?”

 

Kara slowly looks up to meet her eyes, her cheeks redden slightly. She glances around the empty bar as if looking for some indication that dancing was meant to happen there. Lena watches this, biting her lip.

 

_Had she ever been this adorable as Supergirl?_

 

“I’d love to.” Kara finally says with a laugh. Lena smiles triumphantly, standing up from her barstool and extending a hand to Kara. Kara takes a quick gulp from her wine, before placing her hand in Lena’s.

 

Lena is grateful that Kara is wearing flats. If she’d been wearing heels or her Supergirl boots, their height difference would have affected her ability to lead. But with Kara in flats and Lena in her favorite Louboutins all is well.

 

Kara looks nervous, like a middle schooler at her first dance. So Lena reaches forward pulling Kara to her by the hips. Kara giggles into Lena’s shoulder, making Lena wonder if the Jakcaelian Wine was going to her head.

 

Kara quiets, pulling back enough to wrap her arms over Lena’s shoulders, and clasping her hands behind Lena’s neck. They begin to sway.

 

Lena had taken numerous etiquette classes as a child. Taken three hellish years of ballet and was proficient at the waltz. But now wasn’t the time for any of that. She just wanted to be close to Kara.

 

“I love talking to you like this.” Lena whispers against Kara’s cheek.

 

“Like what?” Kara pulls back to look at Lena, her eyes soft and searching.

 

“About these things. Your life...Kara Zor-El, sister to Alex, cousin to Kal-El. Last Daughter of Krypton.” She reaches up and strokes Kara’s cheek. Kara leans into her touch. Then Lena whispers sadly “...Bearer of Burdens. I don’t want to be another burden for you, Kara.”

 

“You’ve never been a burden to me, Lena. You’re my reprieve.” Kara tells her fiercely.

 

“Even when you had to pretend?”

 

“No more pretending. “ Kara vows.

 

Lena nods and they continue to dance quietly for a few moments.

 

“Now it’s your turn.” Kara says, perking up a bit.

 

“My turn?”

 

“Yeah, I told you a Kara Zor-El story. Now you tell me a Lena story.” Kara is smiling brightly.

 

_How could any of my tales amuse this intergalactic traveler?_

 

“What kind of story would you like to hear?”

 

Kara’s brow crinkles in concentration for a moment, her eyes roaming the bar for inspiration.

 

“Well, my story was about alcohol. Tell me an alcohol story.”

 

Lena takes a moment to think.

 

_Surely, all the really good alcohol stories were lost to blackouts, right?_

 

“Okay, um so at my boarding school we sort of had this New Year's party every year after winter break. Unsanctioned, after hours.”

 

“Ooo, a scandalous boarding school party.” Kara teases her, resting her head against Lena’s shoulder. Lena smirks.

 

“Yes, quite. So I was fourteen, and the party had a bring your own beer policy. Everyone would just swipe a little something from their parents over the break.”

 

“You swiped booze from Lillian?” Kara asks alarmed, as if Lena’s mother would pop out at any moment to take her dreadful revenge for this long ago slight. Lena laughs.

 

“No, no. I took a very old, very expensive bottle of scotch from Lionel.”

 

“Scotch, of course.” Kara says relaxing back into Lena’s shoulder.

 

“Hush, you. I took the scotch to the party and gave everyone a taste. It was a big hit. I didn’t have many friends at the time. I was nerdy and introverted to the point of self imposed isolation. Locked away in my dorm, tinkering with technology and chemical formulas.”

 

“Are you trying to turn me on?” Kara asks with a groan. Lena chuckles in surprised, pulling Kara more snugly against her.

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Just tell your story, Ms. Luthor.” Kara kisses the exposed skin where Lena’s shoulder met her neck, it was terribly distracting.

 

“Anyway, I drank more of the scotch than anyone, getting pretty tipsy for the first time in my life. So there I was drinking and dancing and laughing with these people I barely knew. I started dancing closely with this girl from my class.”

 

Kara pulls back again, her face scrunched up in displeasure.

 

“Is this gonna be a sexy story? Should I be jealous?”

 

“No, definitely not. Though that's something I would love to see." Lena kisses Kara cheek and continues "Keep in mind, I wasn’t really out at the time. I really hadn’t given much thought to my sexuality, until that point. But we were dancing and touching and laughing and suddenly, before I even knew what I was doing...I kissed her. It was my first kiss.”

 

Kara cups Lena’s face, running her thumb across Lena’s bottom lip, as if all this talk of kissing was giving her ideas.

 

“Did she kiss you back?” Kara asks gently.

 

Lena nods slowly, not wanting Kara to move her hand.

 

“She did. It felt like minutes went by, but I’m pretty sure it only lasted seconds. I pulled back first, jumped like two feet away from her in my surprise. She was staring at me, smiling. But I was terrified, naturally. I looked around convinced that everyone must have seen, must have cared. But no one had noticed. They were too drunk or busy making out to have noticed.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

Lena looks down, still a little bit ashamed of her cowardice.

 

“I ran, of course. All the way back to my dorm, where I proceeded to drink the rest of that scotch _by myself_ , and sleep through three of my classes the next day.”

 

“Oh, Lena.” Kara presses her forehead against Lena’s, her hands cupping her cheeks.

 

“We never talked about it.” Lena tells her. “I saw her in classes, pasted her in the hall, even did a project with her a few months later. She never mentioned it.”

 

“Do you wish she had?”

 

Lena shakes her head, looking up to meet Kara’s eyes.

 

“No. I wasn’t...I wasn’t ready then.”

 

Kara nods, understanding completely what it was like to not be ready to face the truth.

 

“That was a good story. First time being drunk, first kiss.”

 

Lena manages to smile.

 

“Let it never be said that I half-ass anything.”

 

The sound of their laughter mingles with the music as they cling to one another. The empty dance floor like a planet made for two.

 

They catch a cab, and Lena regrets sending her driver home for the night when she sees the lack of privacy in the cab. Kara is too tipsy to care, she sits close to Lena, her hand on the brunette’s thigh. She lazily kisses at Lena’s cheek, her jaw, down her neck. Lena stifles a moan, when Kara sucked lightly at the hollow of Lena’s neck.

 

“Darling…” Lena sighs, placing a hand on Kara’s cheek and bringing her into a kiss.

 

 _God, how did I ever live without this?_ Lena wonders as their hands roam.

 

The cab pulls up in front of Kara’s apartment, the driver seemingly unfazed by the heavy make-out session taking place in the back seat. Kara finally pulls away, smiling at Lena goofily. Her blue eyes glancing from Lena’s smudged lipstick to her green eyes and back again. Lena can see the question in Kara’s eyes, the want.

 

“Do you want…?”

 

 _Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes._ Lena thinks, all to eager.

 

Before Kara can finish her sentence, before Lena can say ‘Yes, a million times, yes’ sirens squeal and several emergency vehicles rush by them on the street. Kara’s smile drops into a frown. Lena watches her listen to something Lena can’t hear. Kara seems to nod to herself and sigh.

 

“I have to go.” She whispers sadly,  caressing Lena’s cheek.

 

“You’ve been drinking.” Lena points out. Kara shrugs.

 

“I’ll be alright. They need me.” She leans her forehead against Lena’s, closing her eyes.

 

“I know the feeling.” Lena laughs, squeezing Kara’s hand. Kara smiles finally pulling away.

 

 “Go, darling.” Lena tells her. “There will be time for...us later.” Kara nods, and gets out of the cab.

 

As the cab pulls away, Lena watches Kara give her a little wave, then briskly walk towards the nearest ally, already taking off her glasses.

 

\---------------

 

Four days later, nearly a month after the RedK incident, Kara slides into the back of Lena’s car wearing a light blue sleeveless dress. Her hair is down, falling in suspiciously Supergirl-like curls over her shoulders. But Kara Danvers' glasses are perched on her face, and the blue of her eyes is dark in the gloom of the car. The muscles in her arms are toned and tempting, but not inherently alien looking. The two or three beautiful inches of thigh Lena can see peeking out of the dress are definitely too good to be human though. Lena is so busy staring, she almost forgets to ask.

 

“Blindfold?” she says smiling wickedly. Kara’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and her cheeks pinken, but the smirk on her face is almost devious.

 

“Kinda kinky for the third date, don’t cha think?” Kara whispers playfully. Lena blushes, her thoughts suddenly flooded with ideas about just how kinky she’d like to get. She shakes her head and produces a blue blindfold from her purse.

 

“But it goes with your outfit.”

Kara laughs and Lena wants to drown in the sound of it. Kara turns around so Lena can put the blindfold on her.

 

“Well, when you put it that way.” she says. Lena finishes tying the blindfold on, running her fingers lightly down Kara’s neck, over her shoulder to her bare arm. Kara shivers, but Lena knows it’s not from the cold.

 

“No peeking, Ms. Danvers.” Lena whispers close to Kara’s ear. “None of that x-ray vision either.” Kara smiles, feeling around for Lena’s hand. She intertwines their fingers.

 

“I wouldn’t want to ruin your surprise.” Kara says. Lena kisses her cheek. She rolls down the screen between them and Frank.

 

“Let’s get going, Frank.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am, Ms. Luthor.”

 

\----------

Lena takes Kara’s hand and guides her out of the car. Kara moves carefully, clutching Lena’s hand, a uncontrollable child-like smile on her face.

 

“Now?” Kara asks. Lena stands behind Kara, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her head on Kara’s shoulder.

 

“Now.” Lena says, grinning.

 

Kara reaches up and removes the blindfold. Her eyes light up.

 

“The National City planetarium?”

 

“Have you ever been?”

 

Kara nods slowly.

 

“Once in college.”

 

Lena takes Kara’s hand and leads her forward.

 

“I can assure you they’ve made a few advancements since then.” Lena tells her smiling.

 

_Why can't I stop smiling?_

 

“Lena, we can’t. They’re closed.” Kara says disappointment clear in her voice. Lena shakes her head, biting her lip.

 

“I have a key.” Much to Lena’s satisfaction, Kara looks impressed.

 

“You have a key to the planetarium?”

Lena shrugs and pulls her forward.

 

“I may have helped design their new projection system. Come on, we have the place to ourselves.”

 

The place isn’t as Kara remembers it. Lena leads them into a large room void of seats, instead of the main auditorium Kara visited in school.

 

Lena has set up a romantic little picnic for them on the floor, complete with blanket and take out and wine. There are even rose petals on the ground. Looking at it now, Lena feels a bit embarrassed at her cheesiness. That is until she sees the look on Kara’s face. Kara melts, grinning and blushing. She pulls Lena into a kiss, and Lena regrets nothing.

 

_I’m so fucking whipped._

 

“You like it?” Lena asks when Kara releases her.

“I love it! Oh, Rao, I smell potstickers!”  Kara rushes over to the picnic and kicks off her heels settling down on the blanket. “Is this exhibit new?” Kara asks, glancing around the dimly lit room.

 

Lena walks over to a control panel on the wall and dims the lights even further.

 

“Yes, it doesn’t open to the public til next month, but...I wanted to share it with you.” Lena turns on the sequence and the room comes to life. 3D holographic images shoot out from a panoramic projector on the ceiling and suddenly they are in the vacuum of space. Kara gasps, standing and looking around in wonder. She can reach out in any direction and touch an entire world. She holds a moon in the palm of her hand, brushes her fingers across the sun.

 

“This is incredible.” She breathes.

 

Lena walks back over to the picnic blanket, toeing off her own heels, and settling down.

 

“I thought, we could eat among the stars tonight.”

 

They eat and talk and kiss in the majesty of space. Lena gives Kara the remote to the projection and Kara shows her all the planets she’s ever been to, holding each one carefully in her hands like it might break under her touch. Kara stares at the spot in the room where Krypton is suppose to be and resists the urge to cry. They talk about science and the universe and the beginning and the end of everything.

 

“So this whole time you’ve been pretending not to know what I’m talking about?” Lena accuses Kara. “When in fact you were like ‘the brightest witch of your age’ back on Krypton?”

 

Kara blushes and rolls her eyes.

 

“So maybe I was going to be the youngest member of the Science Guild, what’s you’re point?”

 

“My point is I’ve been diluting my nerdiness a bit, so as not to scare you off.”

 

“That was you toning down your nerdiness?” Kara teases her. Lena chuckles, nudging Kara’s shoulder playfully.

 

“I’m just saying there’s a whole new realm of conversation to explore. I have so many questions.”

 

Kara shrugs.

 

“I don’t know. When I first starting going to school on earth, it was really difficult for me to adjust. Krypton's knowledge and technology was so much more advanced, I struggled to understand your science. We used different words, different theories, and equipment.”

 

“We must have seemed so primitive to you.” Lena whispers.

 

Kara shakes her head.

 

“You are anything but primitive, Lena.” She kisses Lena’s cheek then her lips then her neck.

 

They pack up the picnic and their takeout boxes. Kara picks up the rose petals at super-speed as Lena turns off the projector, the room falling into darkness again.

 

Lena pulls out her phone, about to call Frank for the car, but Kara reaches out halting her gently. A shy smile plays at the blonde’s lips.

 

“Do you want to see them for real?” Kara asks, running her hands up Lena’s arms.

 

“You mean…?”

 

Kara nods slowly.

 

“I know you hate flying, but…” She pulls Lena close “What if I promise to never let you go?”

 

Lena’s heart is pounding. She vividly remembers Kara’s arms around her, stopping her fall from the balcony. She remembers how safe and sure and completely right that felt.

 

_I’ve got you._

 

“Yes.” Lena breathes, holding Kara’s gaze. Kara smiles.

 

Outside, Kara holds Lena around the waist, guiding Lena’s arms around her neck.

 

“Step up on my feet.” She says “Like we’re dancing.” Lena is nervous, her breathe shaky. She does as Kara says.

“This time you lead.” She jokes. Kara kisses her forehead.

 

“Close your eyes.” Lena does, resting her forehead against Kara’s and holding on for dear life.

 

She doesn’t feel them leave the ground. In fact, she’s not certain they’ve moved at all until she feels the wind pick up and grow colder around her. The world gets quieter. All Lena can hear is the rush of the air around her ears. All she can feel is the goosebumps on her skin, the heat of Kara’s body against hers, the wind tugging gently at her hair and clothes, and Kara’s voice beside her ear saying

 

“Open your eyes, Lena.”

 

Lena hesitates, cracking her eyes open slowly to meet Kara’s blue ones. She stares there for a few long moments before daring to look around.

 

She’s in the sky. She’s among the clouds. She looks up and sees the stars so impossibly close and the lights of National City like specks down below. She tightens her grip on Kara whose smiling sweetly.

 

“I’ve got you.”

 

And Lena knows she does.

 

Lena laughs, wild and breathless. She was flying. Kara laughs with her, more interested in Lena’s reaction then the sky around them.

 

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Lena whispers, stroking Kara’s face, checking if she’s real.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Lena shakes her head.

 

“Of all the universes, all the galaxies, all the planets and times and lives, all the worlds you could have showed up in...You fell into mine.”

 

Kara kisses her, it's slow and soft and full of love. There was a time when Lena wouldn’t have understood what that meant, a kiss full of love. But she does now. With Kara, in the sky, after everything they’ve been through, Lena thinks she might finally understand what it might be like to love someone.

 

“There’s no place I’d rather be.” Kara says.

 

\--------

 

Kara flies them back to her apartment. They crawl in through the open window like teenagers after curfew. They kiss and grope at one another, eager and happy. They laugh and stumble their way through the living room and around the corner, falling onto the bed in a heap of kisses and giggles.

 

Lena straddles Kara, cupping her face and kissing her again and again. Kara’s hands are on her hips, tugging up her dress, resisting the urge to rip the damn thing off.

 

Kara pulls back, hesitant. 

 

“What is it, darling? Too soon?”

Kara shakes her head, a timid smile on her lips as her fingers play with the fabric of Lena’s dress.

 

“No, I’m just...a little nervous, that’s all.”

 

Lena smiles gently, “Why? We have done this before, you know.”

Kara laughs nervously, “How could I forget?”

 

Lena knows she thinking of the last time they were together, thinking of the Red K girl making Lena writhe and beg.

 

“This won’t be like last time.” Kara tells her “I’m not...it’ll be different.” She sounds almost apologetic, like she wishes she could summon up the bold fearlessness of the RedK. Lena doesn’t wish that. Lena doesn’t want anything, but Kara here, happy, healthy, and wholly herself.

 

“It’s okay, darling.” Lena tells her softly, placing kisses on the corners of her lips.

 

Lena had pined after Kara Danvers since the moment they met.

 

She had slept with Supergirl more times than she could count.

 

She had been fucked by the RedK creature.

 

Now...now all Lena wanted was to make love to Kara Zor-El.

 

“All I want is you.” Lena tells her.

 

Kara nods and leans up to kiss her slowly, carefully. She drags her hand lower to the hem of Lena’s dress, gently pushing it up, up, up. Lena breaks their kiss just long enough for Kara to pull the dress over her head and toss it to the side. Then Kara’s hands are everywhere, her fingertip brushing down Lena’s arms, then up her sides over her back. Next Kara unhooks Lena’s bra with practiced ease, dragging her mouth from Lena’s to kiss at her neck and chest. 

 

These kisses are gentle, a press of lips then the wetness of Kara’s tongue, but they won’t leave marks. Lena had told Supergirl over and over again not to leave marks. Because Lena hadn’t wanted to have to hide them or explain them or stare at them in the bathroom mirror. Because you mark something when it belongs to you, and Lena hadn’t wanted to belong to Supergirl. She didn’t know it at the time, but she had been saving herself for this. For Kara. 

 

“Mark me.” Lena whispers, tangling her fingers in Kara’s hair and pressing her closer. She feels Kara hesitate, confused. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay now.” Lena assures her.

 

Kara uses her strength and speed to reverse their positions. Suddenly, Lena is half naked on her back, Kara’s body pressing her into the bed. Kara stares down at her, blonde curls hanging loose around her face, tickling Lena’s bare skin, her glasses askew on her nose. Lena reaches up and carefully removes the glasses. 

 

_ Amazing. _

 

This is Supergirl. This is Kara Danvers. This is everything Lena wants. Everything she thought she could never really have. This is what it feels like when worlds collide.

 

“Kara…” She pants, but has nothing to say. For the first time in her life Lena just wants and wants and wants and is no longer afraid of it.

 

Kara leans down, turning her attention back to Lena’s chest. She bites and licks and sucks at the hollow of Lena’s neck, her pulse points, moving lower to her sternum and her breasts. Lena runs her hands over Kara’s back only to be met with fabric. Lena fumbles with the zipper of the dress, annoyed that she can’t feel Kara’s skin.

 

“Take this off, please.” Immediately Kara’s weight is gone and Lena misses the heat of her. But only for a second. Then Kara is back, gloriously naked. Lena doesn’t have time to stare, because Kara is kissing her mouth again.

 

_ Why wasn’t I letting her use her powers before? _ Lena wonders. 

 

Lena rolls them over, or rather Kara let’s Lena roll them over. So Lena can lay between her thighs. Lena kisses her way down Kara’s body, very eager to see Kara Zor-El come undone. Kara squirms and moans, watching Lena closely.

 

“You’re so wet, Kara.”

 

“Raup nahn zrhueiao.” Kara pants in Kryptonian. Lena recognizes the word ‘beautiful’.

 

Lena lowers her mouth and licks Kara with the flat of her tongue. The blonde moans and arches her back, her hands twisting into the bed sheets. Lena smiles enjoying the reaction.

 

“Lena…” Kara begs. Lena reaches up and pulls Kara’s hands from the bed sheets. She intertwines their fingers on one hand, and guides Kara’s other hand into the tangles of her raven hair.

 

“Lena?” Kara looks on with concern, but doesn’t move her hands.

 

“I trust you.” Lena whispers, before kissing Kara’s clit. The hand in her hair tightens it’s grip, pressing Lena closer. Lena licks her again, hard and fast.

 

“Rao, Lena!” 

 

Lena smirks even as she works Kara up, relentlessly. The Kryptonian writhes and moans above her. Lena knows she's close when Kara removes the hand from her head, bringing it up to grip the headboard instead. Kara’s whole body trembles, her back arches, and the headboard creaks under her pleasure. 

 

Lena looks up to see Kara’s eyes glowing with heat vision. That hasn’t happened since their first night together, seems like forever ago.

 

Lena squeezes Kara’s hand in hers and continues her ministrations as Kara rides out her orgasm. At last the Kryptonian comes down, her body relaxes, her eyes stop glowing, and she lays there panting heavily. She lets go of the headboard and touches Lena’s hair. Lena has licked her clean. Lena kisses her way back up Kara’s body, finally meeting her lips, before collapsing on top of Kara’s chest with a huff.

 

“Have I mentioned how much I love that?” Kara pants, running her fingers through Lena’s hair.

 

Lena laughs breathlessly.

 

“Praise is always appreciated.”

 

Then Kara’s on top of her, kissing her earlobe, whispering.

 

“Let me show you my appreciation.” 

 

Lena groans, running her nails down Kara’s back, eliciting a pleased hiss from the other woman.

 

“What do you want?” Kara asks, kissing Lena’s jaw.

 

Lena always loved having Supergirl’s mouth on her. She was so good at it, drawing one orgasm after another out of Lena without tiring. And God the fucking sight of her between her thighs was enough to send Lena reeling.

 

But this was Kara, and this was kind of their first time, and Lena wanted to kiss her, and breathe her in, and look in those blue eyes.

 

“Touch me.”

 

Kara kisses her mouth, trailing her hand down Lena’s body. She rips Lena’s underwear off with one firm tug. Lena squeaks in surprise.

 

“How?” Kara asks.

 

“Your fingers.” Lena whines “Darling,  _ please _ .”

 

Kara sucks at her pulse point, reaching down painfully slow, she pushes two fingers all the way in without warning. Lena cries out, clutching Kara, breathing into her neck. Kara pulls out slowly, pulling her hand back up, much to Lena’s disappointment.

 

_ What kind of delicious torture is this? _

 

Kara licks her figures, sucking them into her mouth, while Lena watches mesmerized.

 

_ Maybe I do need Kara’s mouth on me. _

 

“Can I try something?” Kara whispers, almost shy.

 

Lena has a few hard limits in the bedroom, but she doubts Kara’s anywhere near them. So Lena nods slowly, still painfully aroused.

 

“Just touch me.” Lena begs.

 

Kara licks her fingers again, then turns her head slightly away from Lena, and blows on two of her fingers. Lena watches in awe as the wetness on Kara’s fingers crystallizes, turning into a thin layer of ice.

 

“Fuck…” Lena breathes, realizing what Kara has in mind.

 

“Is this okay?” Kara asks, a devious smirk on her face.

 

All Lena can do is nod.

 

Kara moves her hand back down, and brushes against Lena clit with her icy fingers.

 

Lena cries out at the shock of it. It’s so much, so many sensations.

 

“Oh god, Kara…” 

 

“Let me know if you don’t like it.” Kara tells her. Lena nods frantically, needing more. She buries her face in Kara’s neck. 

 

Kara continues making cold circles around Lena’s clit, driving her wild. Lena reaches down and grabs Kara’s wrist, guiding her lower. Kara takes the hint, and enters her. Lena whimpers, the bite of the cold and the sensation of the ice melting inside her, overwhelming.

“Kara…” She doesn’t know what she’s asking for really, but when Kara begins to move in and out slowly, Lena moans in approval. The ice slowly melts as her pleasure builds, and she’s left with just the warmth of Kara’s fingers.

 

“More…Kara, please.” Lena is so close. Kara kisses her hard, and begins to vibrate her fingers into that spot Lena loves.

 

“Zhgam osh khuhp, zrhueiao.” Kara commands against her lips.

Lena doesn’t understand the words, but she knows what them mean. She comes hard, clutching Kara, dragging nails down her back. Kara’s hand continues to work furiously between her legs, and she kisses and bites Lena’s neck. Lena falls from one orgasm, right into another, before finally collapsing. Her body exhausted and tingling and so so pleased. Kara pulls out of her, wiping her hand on the bed sheets.

 

“Are you...How was that? Too much?” Kara asks brushing Lena’s hair from her face.

 

“No.” Lena says, shaking her head lazily “That was incredible, Kara. That was…” Kara smiles down at her, and Lena is so fucking in love.

 

_ I love you. I love you. I love you.  _

 

The words echo in her mind, rest on the tip of her tongue. But she doesn’t say it. Not now, not after the dizzying euphoria of sex with Kara. 

 

_ Later. _ Lena promises.  _ In the morning _ . 

 

And just the thought of waking up to Kara, to this feeling inside her chest, makes Lena want to cry in relief.

 

“Is this really my life?” She doesn’t mean to say it out loud, but her mind and her mouth are confusing their roles.

 

Kara chuckles, pulling the covers up over them, and snuggling into Lena.

 

“Does this mean I can call you my girlfriend now?” Kara asks, staring into Lena’s eyes with a smirk. 

 

Lena nods and leans forward to brush their lips together.

 

“We have strayed so far from casual.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed :)
> 
> I'd love to hear what your favorite chapter/scene/line/aspect of this story was! Please share you're thoughts & favorites & questions with me!


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